RUDYARD KIPLING PUBLISHES STATEMENT REQUESTING PEOPLE STOP FILMING HIS BOOKS

DELHI – Rudyard Kipling today issued a statement, requesting that filmmakers stop making films based on his books.

Author of The Man Who Would Be King and The Jungle Book, Rudyard Kipling today published a statement on his Instagram and Facebook pages. Essentially asking filmmakers to desist from making films based on his books, we publish the statement in its entirety below.

For an author to see his words imaged on the vast screens of the world’s dark picture palaces is – one would hazard a dream to cherish, nourish and enjoy. However, there is an indignity to the kind of visual literalism that has proceeded from the works I wrote all those decades ago; a vulgarity which never pertained to my original conception. I mean a fucking cartoon! Singing and dancing? Are you pulling my dead cold leg?

At least Andy Serkis endeavors to make a serious dramatic representation of my book, but why does it always have to be The Jungle Book? I mean Kim was by far the more interesting work. And there are thousands of pages that I produced which would merit some sort of dramatic manifestation. And yet no. Let us do the film about the talking snake and the little boy.

So please. I would like to request as forcefully as the literal dead white man which I am can, that you desist and leave me in peace. After all, there are so many other great works of literature. I don’t believe there has been a film of Pinocchio for at least twenty three days.

Mowgli is on Netflix.

JON FAVREAU TAPS RON PERLMAN FOR LION KING

HOLLYWOOD – Sons of Anarchy star Ron Perlman has been chosen by Jon Favreau to star in his live action adaptation of The Lion King.

It’s the circle of life, every item has started with reporting this news, including this one, as Jon Favreau begins to firm up his plans to make The Lion King live action motion picture. Following a suggestion by the Studio Exec, Jon Favreau has confirmed that Ron Perlman will indeed be playing Mufasa, the father of Simba. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Eexec, Favreau had this to say:

I’ve always admired Ron as an actor. He’s a talent who has great presence but at the same time manages to vanish completely into the character. As soon as I saw your tweet I thought, ‘Wow! that’s a great idea’ and I got him on the phone. I asked him if he still had his make up from Beauty and the Beast. He said he did and the deal was done.

As for the rest of the cast, Christopher Walken and Bill Murray are set to return from working with Favreau on The Jungle Book to take the parts of Pumba and Timon.

The Lion King will be released in 2018.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON EARNS MORE THAN $100 A DAY

HOLLYWOOD – Avengers star Scarlett Johansson makes more than a $100 a day, the Studio Exec has learned.

The blockbusting star Scarlett Johansson earns more than $100 a day and perhaps substantially more, according to reports. Having made two successful movies this year, The Jungle Book and Captain America: Civil War Johansson has seen her income, which was already high, rise considerably.

Our resident accountant Xavier Poulis reports:

Scarlett Johansson is the highest earning female star ever and although I don’t have the exact figures, it’s definitely more than $100  a day, or a minute, one of the two. She definitely got enough money to buy herself a car and probably a house, though she might need a mortgage. She should have no problem getting one. If she walks into a shop and sees something she likes, chances are she can just buy it without having to worry about it. A round of drinks or treating someone to lunch at an inexpensive cafe shouldn’t be a problem though she’ll probably not want to be too ostentatious as that will just encourage hangers on.

Other stars like George Clooney, Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt also earn about $1000 plus a week.

3 JUNGLE BOOKS TO BE RELEASED

HOLLYWOOD – Following the announcement by Disney that they are to shoot a live action Jungle Book next year – directed by Andy Sirkis and Warner Bros that they will follow it in 2016 with The Jungle Book: Origins, Sony have announced a further take on the much loved Rudyard Kipling novel: The Amazing Jungle Book. Continue reading “3 JUNGLE BOOKS TO BE RELEASED”