FIVE FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT TOM HOLLAND

LONDON – There’s a new Spider-Man in town and his name is Tom Holland.

But what do we actually know about this web-slinging Tom Holland. We sent our tingling spider senses FACT squad to London to find out something FACTy.

1. Tom Holland comes from a family of pie makers. His father Dominic Holland invented the meat and potato pie in 1987. Prior to this invention, you could only have meat pies or potato pies. But never the twain shall meet. At the time considered a revolutionary, Dominic has since become a household name. Tom continues to follow the family tradition, by eating pies.

2. In order to get the role of Spider-Man, the 21 year old actor trained as an acrobat and turned up to the audition climbing through the fifth story window. Unfortunately, he slipped and fell to the pavement below. Fortunately, 73 year old Mavis Tucker broke the young actors fall thereby saving his life, at the cost of her own. A price worth paying for a decent Spider-Man.

3. Although young, Holland has appeared in several big movies, including The Impossible, Heart of the Sea, The Lost City of Z and Two Girls and One Cup.

4. A feud between Andrew Garfield, Toby Maguire and Tom Holland was settled by a face fight in a deserted warehouse by the light of a petrol drum fire which left two of the Spider-Mans dead.

5. While making Spider-man: Homecoming, Robert Downey Jr would play jokes on his young co-star by leaving him messages that read things like: ‘You’re fired’ and ‘No, seriously. You’re fired. Get your stuff and leave’.

For more FACTS click HERE.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT NAOMI WATTS

HOLLYWOOD – How many myths? How many lies? How much mumbo jumbo has surrounded the most enigmatic of Norwegians, Naomi Watts?

Well no longer! Studio Exec – armed with the baloney busting Bazooka of brilliance – puts paid to piffle with FACT.

  1. Naomi Watts’ father Jeff Watts invented electricity. 
  2. In preparation for the filming of Tsunami drama The Impossible Watts and her co-star Fr. Ewan MacGregor learnt to speak fluent Spanish, had their hair dyed and even applied for Spanish citizenship so as to reproduce the experiences of the real life Belòn family with the appropriate verisimilitude. ‘It would be a disgusting insult to Maria Belòn and her family to just Anglicize the characters in order to make the film more commercially successful,’ said Ms. Watts. However, the studio dubbed the film into English and changed the family into an English family, at which point Ms. Watts forgot Spanish instantly.
  3. As well as being a versatile actress, Naomi Watts is also an expert linguist. Her mastery of accents is such that people rarely guess she is Norwegian. She adopts a light Australian accent during interviews which provoked criticism from the Norwegian Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg, who took to referring to Naomi Watts as Naomi Whats?, which is considered hilarious in Norway and was instrumental to his winning of the election.
  4. Her early film roles included a supporting role in Tank Girl and Norwegian soap opera Home and Away. Naomi Watts also appeared in King Kong, although at the last minute the roles were changed and Andy Serkis played the large eponymous monkey. 
  5. During the filming of David Lynch’s masterly Mulholland Drive, Ms. Watts prepared for her part by eating nothing but squirrel in the mistaken belief it would help her attune to Mr. Lynch’s precise brand of weirdness.  She used the same technique when starring in the American language version of Funny Games, during which she only ate Michael Haneke’s favourite type of Pot Noodle. 
For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

EWAN MCGREGOR JOINS PRIESTHOOD

ROME – Ewan McGregor revealed today that in a secret ceremony earlier that week he had taken orders as a Catholic priest.

The 41 year old actor will abandon his family and move into a seminary where he will study for a year before undertaking missionary work, possibly in Africa. Ewan McGregor told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I was never that good an actor. And recently I’ve been unbelievably bad at choosing scripts. When I was doing Angels and Demons – another stinker by the way – Ron Howard said me that I looked great dressed like that. He said the cassock really suited me. And that got me thinking.

But what does Father Ewan think of the Catholic church’s stance on Gay marriage and abortion?

Do they have any stances on those issues? I don’t know about all that. I just love the clothes really. I like the way when I walk down the stone flagged aisles of the church it makes a lovely swishing sound. As for transubstantiation of the Eucharist and the reality of the Holy Ghost, I’ve been acting against green screen for years so I can sell any bullshit.  

 The Impossible will be Fr. Ewan McGregor’s final film.