WOODY ALLEN TO PLAY JOKER IN JOKER ORIGIN MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Woody Allen is to play the young Joker in an origin movie of Batman’s most famous villain.

The Studio Exec can confirm that Woody Allen is in talks to play the Clown Prince of Crime in a new Warner Bros. movie about the origins of the Joker. The Hangover director Todd Phillips will direct and co-write the script with Scott Silver (8 Mile). He spoke EXCLUSIVELY with Studio Exec about the casting of Allen.

We were looking at first at a lot of young actors but the fact of the matter is they’re all shit. Some of them were funny but couldn’t act; others could act but weren’t funny. But Woody Allen could do both. I mean he’s amazing.

But isn’t Woody too old?

He isn’t that old.

He’s 81.

Oh. Shit. Erm. We can digitally de-age him. I think. That won’t be a problem. Anyway, he’s very excited about the project. We’re asking him to help with the script as well. When you have a gag writer like Allen, it’d be stupid not to use him.

Why not just use Jared Leto?

Ha ha ha ha ha. That’s great Exec. Oh wait, you weren’t joking.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know about the Joker But Were Too Afraid to Ask will be released in 2020.

BRADLEY COOPER TO MAKE AMERICAN HANGOVER

HOLLYWOOD –  Following American  Hustle and American Sniper, Bradley Cooper confirmed that his American trilogy will be concluded with American Hangover.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Bradley ‘The Face’ Cooper said:

I’m not exactly long in the tooth but I’d like to see this as my central acting achievement. American Hustle was about an underworld America. American Sniper is of course about America at war. And American Hangover is going to be exactly like the other Hangover movies, but with the word America in the title. We’re all very excited.

Does this have anything to do with Elvis’ American trilogy?

Yes and no. Mainly no.

What stage is the script at?

Well, we’ve photocopied the first half of Hangover 3 and we’ve just got to do the second half, cross out the title, write in the new title and we’re away.

That’s amazing.

Yeah, I know and the funniest thing about those films is that they keep paying us to do them. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that’s the only funny thing about them.

Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms are set to return and Todd Phillips has agreed once more to direct. Philips told the Exec:

We are all committed to completing Bradley’s vision, saluting his diverse skills as an actor and money. Mainly money.

American Hangover will be released in 2016.

5 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT BRADLEY COOPER

HOLLYWOOD – Who knows Bradley Cooper? What is he like deep down? Beneath the face, above the pancreas, three finger lengths from what he knowingly describes as ‘the happy farm’?

Well, the Studio Exec have unearthed FIVE facts to add to your factotum pole of truth in A Place (I don’t know) perhaps Beyond the Pines.

  1. Bradley Cooper means literally: ‘barrel maker who’s also called Bradley’ (some site on the internet). In the whole of the USA, there are only two Bradleys. The second is Bradley Pitt. 
  2. People Magazine recently named the BC (as he prefers to be known) ‘the sexiest man alive’, which was a definite advance on 2004, when People Magazine called the then little known actor ‘the sexiest man from Pennsylvania’.
  3. To prepare for his role as a bipolar sufferer in The Silver Linings Playbook Bradley went to the Antarctic and the North Pole. He said, ‘It didn’t help at all. I guess I just got the words mixed up, or something.’
  4. When making The Hangover Part Two, Bradley Cooper refused to learn the script and simply recited the script from the first film. No one noticed the difference. 
  5. Whilst filming The A-Team, Bradley Cooper took advantage of working  with esteemed actor Liam Neeson to ask him advice on his art. Mr. Neeson apparently said, ‘Get paid as much as possible and do as little as you can.’
For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

HANGOVER PART 3 INCLUDES DEATHS OF MAIN CHARACTERS

HOLLYWOOD – With the release of the Trailer of The Hangover Part 3, the Studio Exec was given the opportunity to sit down and speak with the cast and director.

‘When we got together to talk about doing a third part to the much loved comedy series The Hangover, one thing we were all agreed on was not to simply photocopy the original,’ says writer Todd Phillips. ‘After all, we already did that with Hangover Part 2. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!’

The ‘creative’ team behind the multi-million dollar franchise decided that there free and easy approach to alcohol had perhaps been a ‘mite irresponsible’ and so to add a darker tone and to redress the balance it was decided early on to kill off several members of the cast.
Zach Galifianakis butts in:

Initially my character erm… Alan, I think he’s called? Any way me. I was going to contract hepatitis from the drinking and liver damage and they would have had to amputate both my legs which got gangrenous. But then we decided a lot of the comedy beats were a bit off, but then we said well if after the operations I die anyway, now THAT would be hilarious.

Phillips continues:

Of course once we’d killed Alan we thought, Wow, what if we killed off Bradley Cooper as well, I mean his character.Jesus what is his name? Anyway, we thought he could Hendrix, you know choke on his own vomit in a drink induced coma. It’d be gross out comedy and poignant to boot. 

Cooper laughs, with this look of fear in his eye. He takes up the narrative:

So then Ed Helms who plays David or Doug or Dan or someone, he was like woah there. What about me? So Todd came up with this…

Tod Phillips:

Fantastic idea. Yeah. That he should drink drive and like crash the car and totally be decapitated, and because he’s so fucking drunk, he’s like staggering around like a fucking chicken. I mean comedy is about accumulation. First he loses a tooth and then his head. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So Ken Jeong’s character is the only one to survive?

Heck no. He gets really depressed and kills himself.

The Hangover Part 3 will premiere at the Cannes Film Festival in May, 2013.