BRENDAN GLEESON ‘NO MORE BIT PARTS’

HOLLYWOOD – Irish character actor Brendan Gleeson today said that he would only be accepting scripts where he has the starring role.

Brendan Gleeson – to be seen in Ron Howard’s latest In the Heart of the Sea – has announced that he will no longer be considering bit parts in movies.

He came by the Studio Exec bungalow to get some stuff off his chest.

You know Exec, I’ve been in this game a long while. All the way back to The Field in 1990. And since then I’ve racked up a healthy number on the old IMDb there. About seventy feature films in all and a shit tonne of telly as well. But the thing is the vast majority of those films, I’m just a bit part. I have a speaking role of course and I get to do my stuff but mostly there’s some other tall shite hogging the scenes, getting all the lasses and making off with the loot.

That’s terrible.

I know. At first I didn’t mind so much. I was happy to that there Hollywood. Swimming pools, movie stars, you know how it is. The work was good and I was usually done in a week or two. But I’m always Mel Gibson’s fat mate, or Tom Cruise’s superior officer, or one of Harry Potter’s teachers. I even got cuckolded by that thin glass of water Orlando Bloom in Troy.

I remember.

And I wanted to be doing more. I got a chance in The General and I really enjoyed it and again with The Guard and Calvary. But these parts were far and few between. So now I’ve just decided, feck it. I want to be a proper movie star and that’s that.

But you’re a really respected character actor.

I am so. And I know that. But my old mate Tom Wilkinson came over the other Saturday and we got to talking because he basically has the same problem. If anything it’s worse for him because I get the scripts first and he can only do those I don’t want to. Anyway Tom was saying ‘you’re a great actor big man. You should be going for the leading man roles more, so you should’ and I thought, he’s not wrong. At first, I was reluctant. ‘What about all the small parts, the villains and what not that they want me to play?’ but Tom said he’d take those on and not to worry a lick.

Brendan Gleeson will next be appearing in Bond 25.

MARK STRONG: I’M NOT EVIL

HOLLYWOOD – British actor Mark Strong has asserted today that he is ‘not evil’, despite appearing to be evil in such films as The Guard, Kick Ass, Green Lantern, Robin Hood and Sherlock Holmes.

The actor told the Studio Exec:

I admit I have been typecast as a bit of a villain, but I’m a working actor so I take what I can and hopefully as my career progresses I’ll be offered perhaps a more varied selection of roles and people will see what I can really do.

Does it anger you when people confuse with the roles you play?

No, not at all. I think it’s funny. And after people have talked to me for a few minutes, they realize it’s just all part of the job.

But what if people insist that you’re evil, how do you handle that?

There’s nothing to handle. I mean people are really intelligent. 99% of people understand that it’s pretend and they behave accordingly.

What about that 1% though?

Well, it depends.

What do you mean?

Okay if someone doesn’t get it and after I explain time and again, I might lose my temper a little.

You shout at them?

No. What I do is I find out if anyone would miss them. You know if they were to disappear would there be an investigation. How thorough would it be? Do they live in a building, or in a detached lonely location? Somewhere with no security. Once I’ve captured them, I …

Captured them?

Yes. As I was saying once I’ve captured them I take them over to Tom’s place.

Tom?

Tom Hiddleston, he has this hole in his cellar. I mean I say hole, it’s more like a dungeon really. It’s where he puts people who insist on calling him Loki all the time. 

Ah.

Yeah. It was Tom who told me how to capture people.

 I think that’s all we have time for.

Of course he has amazing drainage. And industrial strength acid.

Mark Strong will be appearing in The Imitation Game in 2015.