EXPENDABLES 3 FLOPS BECAUSE ‘NOBODY WANTED TO SEE IT’

HOLLYWOOD – New Sylvester Stallone, Kelsey Grammer, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Jason Statham, Ronda Rousey, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and Wesley Snipes film The Expendables 3 made not as many millions as expected because it is ‘kind of a geriatric vanity project that no one wanted to see.’

Although the first two Expendables films were commercially successful, the hits took the industry by surprise, with audiences responding to the nostalgic thrill of seeing superannuated muscle men from the eighties trying to knock each other silly. Sylvester Stallone decided to go for the trilogy:

I felt that if the first film made money and then the second film made more money, it was obvious to me that the third film would make even more money. I even added Han Solo and Braveheart to the cast, but if anything that seems to have been more of a problem. Luckily Wesley Snipes said he’s going to help us with our tax returns so that we can make more money.

Many industry observers have blamed the appearance of a pirated copy of the film on torrent sites which accidentally revealed how poor the film was before people had paid any money.

Xavier Poulis told Studio Exec:

Usually a rubbish film has the chance of snagging a bundle of money way before anyone realizes how awful it is. But with this pirated copy people were seeing it for free and then warning their friends not to see it. This kind of negative publicity is by far more damaging than the number of tickets unsold because people had already viewed the pirated copy.

Audiences were also put off by the presence of Jason Statham who no one likes.

The Expendables 3 is in cinemas now.

LEONARD NIMOY JOINS EXPENDABLES 3



HOLLYWOOD – News just in that Leonard Nimoy is joining the cast of Sylvester Stallone’s next meat and potatoes opus Expendables 3. ‘I felt we need some intellectual weight to the piece,’ said Sly. ‘The last film was too flighty and I think Lenny’ll bring some gravitas on your ass.’


Nimoy explained that he was attracted to the role Spack, because it gave him an opportunity to show his range. 
‘I’ve always wanted to do a big gristly action movie and this is my chance,’ said the Star Trek actor and author of popular baby care manuals from the seventies. ‘There is a scene in the script where Sly and our group are trying to land a helicopter on the top of a pine tree while firing improvised rocket launchers at the MIGs flying overhead, and I turn to Sly and I raise one eyebrow and I say “This is illogical”. It is pure magic.’
For a full update on the rest of the cast CLICK HERE

The Expendables 3 will be out before you die, unless you’re going to die soon.