NEW BLAIR WITCH FILM IS FOUND VIDEO OF OLD BLAIR WITCH FILM

HOLLYWOOD – Critic claims that the remake of The Blair Witch Project, released this week, is actually just the same film as The Blair Witch Project.

Remakes, reboots, prequels and sequels are all the rage but none have gone as far as the new version of The Blair Witch Project, entitled Blair Witch, which is essentially the original film according to cinema expert Burt Gubbins.

Burt spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

The Blair Witch Project is widely known as one of the best examples of the found footage film. That is it purports not to be fictional but to simply be the film that someone has found documenting a real event. The new film directed by Adam Wingard keeps up the pretext by simply finding the footage of the original film on DVD projecting it onto a wall and filming it.

So there’s no new cast or anything like that?

Not at all. But what Wingard has created is a fascinating meta-film that goes even further than Gus van Sant’s shot for shot remake of Psycho in adding nothing original to the world.

Amazing. But Wingard obviously denies this?

Yes, he does. And that’s what makes the whole affair even more fascinating. His iMDB page, the publicity materials, interviews and all the paraphernalia insist that this is a new film, but aficionados like me can tell the difference by snoozing in front of the movie and seeing if when they wake up they feel happy or sad.

Blair Witch is in theaters.

 

BLAIR WITCH PROJECT TURNS OUT TO BE TRUE

HOLLYWOOD – The breakout 1999 horror film The Blair Witch Project is back in the headlines as Studio Exec can exclusively reveal that the film “written and directed” by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez was not actually written and directed by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez.

In fact, the ‘found footage’ classic was actually found rather than made and everything that takes place on the video actually happened.

The publicity for the film made much of the idea that the film was based on found footage after three young people, a student film crew, went missing in the woods. A ground-breaking viral campaign used the internet to spread all sorts of rumours to create the impression that the film was indeed based on real events.

However, it now turns out that the producers were playing a double game, and in effect hiding in plain view the fact that the film is actually what it originally purports to be that is an actual document which seems to show deadly supernatural forces at work and explain, to some extent, what happened to the missing characters Heather, Josh and Mike who were ostensibly played by ‘actors’ Heather Donahue, Josh Leonard and Mike Williams, actors who incidentally have never appeared in anything ever again, despite having obviously faked IMDB pages.

It goes without saying that no one involved in the making of the film was available to comment (because they are all dead or worse).

The Blair Witch Project 3 is due for release in 2015.