ROME – It was revealed today that Benito Mussolini – one time Duce of Italy and founder of the Italian Fascist Party – was in reality Donald Trump’s grandfather.
The Republican Presidential hopeful, demagogue and Reality TV star Donald Trump is directly related to Benito Mussolini, it was revealed today. Diego Zucchetto, Italian historian and political commentator, told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
Benito Mussolini era il nonno di Trump da parte di sua madre. Lei andava nei Stati Uniti quando era piccola e non sapeva nulla di sua parentela. Comunque se guardiamo qualche foto, particolarmente quelle quando il Duce era giovane, si vede una somiglianza abbastanza notevole.
Oh sorry. I said Benito Mussolini was Donald Trump’s grandfather.
Okay, right. Is there any proof?
Proof? Well, you only have to look at the photographs of the Fascist leader as a young man and there is a striking resemblance. Plus Donald Trump is in possession of no birth certificate for his mother. Plus his own political leanings are obviously inspired by his own far right bloodline. Mussolini was also a demagogue who was given to the grand political gesture that led his country into disaster. So all in all you can see a picture emerging of what we have to look forward to, should Donald Trump become President of the USA.
Donald Trump is currently preparing Season 11 of The Apprentice.
HOLLYWOOD – Although not strictly speaking a politics blog, Donald Trump is not strictly speaking a politician. In fact he isn’t strictly speaking anything we have a word for.
So we sent the Studio Exec FACT squad to Trump towers to find out all we could about Donald Trump.
- Donald Trump first made his money out of a card game called Top Trumps, which he named after himself.
- Donald Trump became famous as a celebrity following his appearance on Reality TV show The Apprentice. Although as in a Philip K. Dick novel, some observers are beginning to wonder if the Reality TV show was not actually reality and the reality that we’re living – with Donald Trump riding high in the polls to be the next Republican Presidential candidate – is the Reality TV show.
- When Bill Maher compared Trump to an Orangutan and Trump sued him, the case never got to court. Although it is believed that Maher had to settle with the National Society for the Advancement of Orangutans out of court for defamation.
- If Donald Trump does win the US Presidential Election, his blueprint for governance is taken from The Hunger Games movies, which Trump says ‘Were full of great ideas, both for entertainment and for how to run a country.’
- Several films about Donald Trumps life are currently in production including one starring Damian Lewis from Homeland. What few people know is that Trump himself is going to be starring in a film called No Surrender as a rebuke to his rival and critic John McCain.
For more FACTS click HERE.
|Donald Tump (aerial shot)
|Sacha Baron Cohen
NEW YORK – Sacha Baron Cohen announced he is currently in the process of filming Shredded Wheat: The Donald Trump Story. ‘It’s very funny because we have actually been working on this story for years,’ said the comic actor and Ali G impersonator. ‘It is going to be funny when people see what was me and what was Donald, as in the real Donald. I’ve got him down pat, so I think people are going to be surprised.’
It has been confirmed that Cohen substituted Trump on several episodes of The Apprentice. ‘No one noticed,’ said Cohen. ‘I have a theory that everyone is fixated on his hair. So once you get that right, everything else falls into place.’
So all the ridiculous nonsense about the bet with Obama? That was you. Don’t you think it unethical to intervene in a political process?
No that was Donald. Although I think he might have sneaked into one of our script sessions pretending to be me and came away thinking it was a good idea.
The title seems a bit cryptic. A bit like Catfish or something. What does it mean?
You’re joking right.
Shredded Wheat: The Donald Trump Story is released on Christmas Day.