CAMERON ANNOUNCES TITANIC 2, 3, 4 & 5

HOLLYWOOD – Avatar and Terminator director, James Cameron announces Titanic 2, 3, 4 & 5 will all go into production shortly. The news that James Cameron announces Titanic 2, 3, 4 & 5 means that he will be shooting movies for fifteen years. The Studio Exec caught up with the director on the set of his latest film, Avatar 4: Ably Obtaining The Unobtainable Unobtanium.

Where Did You Get The Idea For Titanic 2, 3, 4 & 5?

As you know, I’m not one for chasing money. Usually I abhor such lavish productions. But I was floating in my gigantic flooded underwater sound studio one day and Boom! I had a little idea. People pay a lot of money to watch any old shit. So I put 2 and 2 billion together and came up with an idea for a Titanic sequel. Actually, a whole fucking series of them.

Can You Tell Us Anything About The Plot?

Of course I can. I’m KING OF THE WORLD! We join marine biologist, Sarah Connor as she travels to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. There she boards a submarine and joins an underwater oil drilling crew. Together, they will stumble across something that will shock everyone.

It’s Aliens, Isn’t It?

Yeah, but not nice watery ones. These ones come in big slimy eggs. Guess what happens then? Go on, guess. You’ll never get it.

If You Say Chestburster, James Cameron, So Help Me I’m Leaving.

No, I wasn’t going to say that at all. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Don’t Lie To The Exec, James. You’re Full Of Shit.

Honest! I wasn’t going to say that.

Ok Then. My Apologies. Please Continue.

These killer robots are sent back in time to kill Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet and Sarah Connor. And then-

 

This Interview Is Over.

Avatar: The Way Of Water Is Released This Coming December.

BREAKFAST WITH ASSHOLES: 26. JAMES CAMERON

MARIANA TRENCH – Deep beneath the Ocean, I caught up with the visionary genius and Captain Nemo wannabe James Cameron to discuss his latest projects and eat a hearty breakfast of plankton and krill. 

So James, I suppose we should first talk about the Avatar sequels. Is it true that you’ve written three scripts simultaneously?

Yes that is true.

Wow.

Well, it’s not like I think about them that much. Or write characters or such.

Oh I see. 

Though I was hurt about a lot of the criticism I got, after the first film. People were saying that the first Avatar was basically Dances with Wolves crossed with the Blue Man Theater group.

 That was preposterous.

And inaccurate. It was obviously Pocahontas and The Smurfs

Oh, yeah absolutely. What can we expect this time around?

We’re going to see a lot more of the planet. And there’s going to be some fabulous creatures and adventures and I want it to be more political. The Na’vi are going to be ethnically cleansed basically.

That sounds quite heavy.

No, don’t worry. When I made Titanic everyone was saying, ‘Jesus Christ Jimmy! Three thousand people died’. But I was like don’t worry, the way I do it, it’ll look like fun. And it certainly did.

Finally can we have a few words about the new Terminator. 

Of course. My role is going to be decidedly a back seat one. 

So you’re producing. 

No I’m sitting in the backseat of my limo while my agent runs into the studio to collect my fifteen percent. 

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