TERRENCE MALICK IS FILMING HIS NEW FILM ABOUT JESUS IN ROME

ROME – Tree of Life director Terrence Malick starts filming new Jesus film in Rome.

Following the premiere of A Hidden Life at Cannes, Terrence Malick is already working on his new film: a parable telling the life of Jesus. Starring John Turturro in the iconic role from The Big Lebowski, the film tells the story of Jesus’ life through a series of parables. No longer shy of interviews, Malick spoke directly to the Studio Exec via Skype. And yes, he was wearing a hat.

I’ve always loved the work of the Coen Brothers, especially the early funny ones. And I met John at a party and he told me how he’d been trying to get this spin off going for years, but without success. I said that I was free. I read the script and I really liked it. But as usual I’ll be throwing it out the first day of shooting and asking my actors to wander around looking glum as I scribble down words for the voice over.  john turturro

Why don’t you just shoot the script?

Fuck off.

When will the film be about?

The idea is that Jesus is disturbed by losing the regionals to the Dude and Walter so he has a real crisis of identity and he goes to Italy to find God. It’s like Eat Pray Love but with bowling.

No one Fucks with the Jesus is out in 2020.

TERRENCE MALICK PLANS ‘WE BOUGHT A ZOO’ REMAKE

TEXAS – Terrence Malick to remake We Bough a Zoo.

Visionary film maker Terrence Malick has revealed that his next project following Knight of Cups will be a remake of the Cameron Crowe classic We Bought a Zoo, starring Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson.

The news was revealed by Christian Bale, who finished shooting with Malick earlier this year. Speaking to Danish bacon magazine Swine, Bale said:

I was really disappointed working with Terry. Everyone said he was a deeply philosophical man and even a poet of sorts, but my experience was that he is absolutely obsessed by the career of Cameron Crowe. Knight of Cups is basically Almost Famous with some added Heidegger and as the film went on it became evident that he had lost interest and was already thinking about his next project. 

What is your favourite time to eat bacon?

Breakfast. He was working on the script for We Bought a Zoo and constantly phoning Cameron Crowe for tips and hints about how to make the film. He wants to cast exactly the same people, Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson, and it will basically be a shot for shot remake but with an extensive voice over. 

We Bought a Wonderful Zoo of Glory will be released in 2019.  

FAN WRITES LETTER TO TERRENCE MALICK ASKING HIM TO STOP

HOLLYWOOD – A fan has written Terrence Malick a letter asking him to stop making films.

With the release of Song to Song, Terrence Malick continues his race to the bottom with another star-studded wander fest. 75 year old Ayrton Conseesee – a lifelong Malick fan – felt moved to write the following letter:

Dear Mr. Malick,

I have been with you from the beginning. I remember the excitement I first felt when I saw your debut movie – Badlands – starring then unknown Sissy Spacek and Martin Sheen. What amazing talent is this!? You turned a tawdry tale of a serial killer and his girl into a meditation on life and childhood and nature and America’s innocence. With Days of Heaven, we were once more in a period of American history and following the little known Richard Gere into a world of almost Greek tragedy. The film was stirring in the lyricism of its images and the beauty of the soundtrack.

Then came the hiatus at which point your reputation grew. The Thin Red Line showed that your power had not diminished. And even The New World gave us a new version of American innocence and its loss.

The problem seemed to start when you decided to swap history for autobiography and your innovations staled into traits.

Tree of Life was visually unbelievable but one occasionally longed to stop the ever moving camera and to allow the characters to actually speak to each other. To have dialogue. Without conventional blocking, your actors actually became more stilted as they wandered about not knowing quite where to stand.  Instead of bringing in fresh faces you were now able to command true star power with Brad Pitt. This didn’t always benefit the film. To the Wonder had Ben Affleck in it! Knight of Cups starred Christian Bale. It was like you were collecting Batmans. 

Song to Song has followed swiftly on and this is with a documentary in the middle, which I also saw. It looked like a reel they put in a TV store to convince you that 4K is worth selling a limb to buy. 

And now Song to Song. Please Mr. Malick would you stop making films. It’s like supporting a terrible football team. You know they’re going to lose but you have to watch anyway. Or buying a Bob Dylan album in the 80s. Which gives me hope. Maybe you can come back. Maybe you can do it again. But you need to ditch the voiceovers, block your actors and write a fricking script this time. 

Yours Sincerely.

A. Conseesee.

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FANS PREPARE TO PRETEND TO LIKE ANOTHER TERRENCE MALICK FILM

HOLLYWOOD – Terrence Malick’s Song to Song premiers at the SXSW Festival.

There was a time that a Terrence Malick film was a rare thing of beauty. Now he seems to be trying to match Marvel Studios.  Unfortunately, the quality has dropped precipitously from the Days of Heaven when we used to visit the Badlands. The New World was the beginning of the rot with a tree hugging Pocahontas who made the Disney version seem like Joan of Arc. Then the ‘masterpiece’ Tree of Life which began to divide audiences. Half saw a technical mastery,  a beauty, an unconventional but grandiose ambition. Others thought it looked like an advert for a credit card company that wanted to corner the whispery demographic. To the Wonder made us feel sorry for Ben Affleck. And Knight of Cups… Oh good God, shoot me already.

Even his documentary Voyage of Time, which ought to have been right in his wheelhouse, managed to be annoying shit. Now Song to Song has premiered and we’re back at it. The remaining Malick fans now have a critical Stockholm Syndrome that forces them to like anything he does. The problem is that with each new film that comes out, one feels that the other films are getting worse. Re-watching the Tree of Life after To the Wonder for example takes the first film down a good few notches.

With Song to Song, it seems Malick is doubling down on his modus operandi and best of luck to him. But this might well be the first one that I give a miss.

TERRENCE MALICK’S BOND SCRIPT LEAKS ONTO INTERNET

HOLLYWOOD – Everyone knew that Terrence Malick‘s new James Bond film provisionally entitled The Tree of Wonderful Glory Bangs would be different.

With Leonard Cohen and Arvo Part collaborating on the theme song and Daniel Craig boning up on his Heidegger, the chances were Terrence Malick was going to head in a totally new direction. However, now with the leaking onto the internet of a 600 page draft of Malick’s finished script it has become clear that his Bond is going to be like nothing you have ever seen before. Read after the jump some choice extracts from the script.

EXT. PARADISE – DAY
Paradisial expanse of lush grassland. Dinosaurs and unicorns frolic.

EXT. WATERFALL – DAY

Water falls from a water fall. 

EXT. BEACH -TWILIGHT

M. walks towards camera past camera. Looks back wistful. She is dead and has therefore gone to the beach.

BOND (v.o.)
M? Mother? Who are you that sends me on these missions?
 
INT. LONDON WHITEHALL OFFICE EVENING

Bond sits at his desk looking thoroughly miserable. Miss Moneypenny comes in. No words. She dances around the room and together they discover the beautiful fall of the failing sun reflected on the wood paneling of the windowsill. They cry. 

MONEYPENNY (V.O.)
Why? Who sent us hear? Who invented this love that we call love but other people don’t call love and don’t love it as much as us lovers of love do? Was it you?

 

 
INT. CHURCH – MAGIC HOUR
Javier Bardem dressed as a priest.
PRIEST
Jesus is great. Really top class. 
EXT. VENICE
Bond admires the church architecture and takes note of the glittering sunlight on the canal water.
BOND (whispering)
Where am I? Who am I?
Venice explodes.
 
EXT. BEACH TWILIGHT
Bond dances past M on the beach.
M.
What happened?
BOND
What happens? Happens?
 
EXT. DINOSAURS
More dinosaurs. 
 
FINIS

The Tree of Wonderful Glory Bangs will be released in 2015.
 
   

TERRENCE MALICK DOCUMENTARY VOYAGE OF TIME ‘ALL ABOUT F*CKING’

HOLLYWOOD – Voyage of Time, the new Terrence Malick IMX documentary, is all about f*cking, it was revealed today.

It emerged today that the new Terrence Malick documentary Voyage of Time will be all about sex, shagging, bonking, banging, screwing and cunnilingus.

A source close to the reclusive filmmaker told the Studio Exec:

This is the sauciest you’ve ever seen Malick do.  Badlands and Days of Heaven had very little sex in them and what there was happened off screen. Likewise The Thin Red Line and Tree of Life. There was the tiniest bit in the New World but no one went to see that, but more recently he’s been getting into some internet porn and it has had an influence.

What kind of influence?

Well, aside from the fact he’s lost a lot of weight and he doesn’t read Heidegger anymore. He put some sex into To the Wonder and you should see the version of Knight of Cups that he wanted to release!

You mean he compromised his vision?

He listened to advice that said it would damage his reputation. But this new one is just wall to wall banging and screwing to the sounds of Arvo Part. It’s amazing. And over it Brad Pitt narrates a salacious commentary. Sometimes just repeating words which shouldn’t be rude but given the context suddenly become rude. Like ‘Elbow – marmalade – itch’. See what I mean?

Voyage of Time will be released in 2017.

FIRST IMAGE OF AXL ROSE IN STAR WARS MUSICAL: MAX REBO LIVE

HOLLYWOOD – The first image from stand-alone Star Wars musical Max Rebo Live features Guns n Roses singer Axl Rose, rocking with the band.

After The Force Awakens and Rogue One comes the first Star Wars musical Max Rebo Live, starring Axl Rose and Bono. Director Martin Scorsese talked about the project.

I’ve resisted for a long time the whole Star Wars thing. Frankly Science Fiction is not a genre that I’m that interested in, but when Disney approached me about doing a concert film for the Max Rebo band in Jabba the Hutt’s court, all I heard was the words ‘concert film’.

What’s the story Marty?

First off, there really isn’t a story. I mean this is Star Wars so who gives a shit, am I right? We’re just going to have a load of rock and roll legends perform science fiction versions of their top hits and I’m going to film the whole thing with about seven cameras and hope some sort of narrative comes out in the editing room.

With the Terrence Malick and Kevin James Star Wars films coming up, are you worried that there might be too many?

Not at all. We offer something very different. In the Seventies Terry was making Days of Heaven and I was making Mean Streets and Taxi Driver. But now we’re living in an age of comic books and franchises and no one gives a shit about original story telling anymore. So as far as I’m concerned, I just want to play some music and get it on.

What songs can we expect to hear?

Axl is going to play Sweet Wookie of Mine and Welcome to the Jungle Moon. Mick Jagger and the Stones are going to play Sympathy for the Vader. And Paul McCartney will play Hey Jedi.

Star wars: Max Bebo Live will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

JURASSIC WORLD 2 GETS NEW DIRECTOR

HOLLYWOOD – Just months before it goes into production, Jurassic World 2 has a new director taking over from Colin Trevorrow.

Jurassic World 2 is to be directed by Terrence Malick, sources within Universal Studios have confirmed. The Tree of Life director is to take on the follow-up to the surprise hit of last year and stars Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are also confirmed to return. Terrence Malick took a break from a punishing round of promotional interviews surrounding the release of Knight of Cups to talk about his new job.

This is fantastic. I love dinosaurs always have. I’ve wanted to add a dinosaur to all my films but thus far have only been able to slip a couple into the Tree of Life. We had one in The Thin Red Line but Sean Penn made me take it out.

You had a dinosaur in Thin Red Line?

No, wait, dinosaur, no I meant Mickey Rourke. Ha ha ha! Boom goes the Malickian dynamite!

So this is the first time you’ve taken on a big entertainment style movie. How are you going to approach it?

I’ve tried in the past to do entertainment blockbusters. I even had Ben Affleck in To the Wonder because I thought it might make it work better but Olga wouldn’t stop dancing for five minutes and so we couldn’t find anywhere to get the terrorist kidnapping subplot in. This time around it’s going to be different. This time I’m going to write a script.

Wow! A script!?

I know. It’s radical. I’m already working on it and we’re going to tell the story of how the dinosaurs escape onto the mainland. So far, with the exception of the end of Jurassic Park 2, all of these films have been confined to islands but I want to see what a T.Rex would do to a large urban area. And I’m really looking forward to working with Chris Pratt and Jessica Chastain.

Bryce Dallas Howard!

Whatever. The important thing is they give good voiceover. Anything else I can cut around. I’ve started writing the voiceover already.

Is it the first thing you do?

It’s the first, the last and the middle bit of what I do. Here listen: ‘Who are you that calls to me from across the millennia? You who stand before me. Oh! You’re beside me as well. Clever girl!’

Jurassic World 2 will be released in 2018.

THE MAKING OF KNIGHT OF CUPS

HOLLYWOOD – In the latest in our celebrated Making of… series, we look at the behind the scenes drama that went into the making of Terrence Malick’s new film: Knight of Cups.

The Idea

Originally Terrence Malick wrote a three volume novel entitled Knight of Cups and Saucers and showed it around to some close collaborators. Sean Penn read it and immediately advised that Malick should make it his next film.

This was before To the Wonder and I thought Knight of Cups and Saucers would be a perfect film for him to do. For once he had an actual book. He had all the dialogue written and the descriptions were just so cinematic. It was funny and moving. I wept like a baby at various points. It was so touching and I could tell that it was quite close to Terry. I told him, make this film.

The script writing process took a long time and so Malick went ahead first with To the Wonder, but even as he filmed that, whenever he wasn’t giggling at Ben Affleck, he would sit down adn work on the script for his follow up film. Ben Affleck says:

He let me read an early version of the script. It was great. It made me really wish I wasn’t making To the Wonder. I’ve always admired Terry’s early films and that’s why I agreed to work with him. Why I wanted to. It was Days of Heaven and Badlands that I wanted to be in. And this To the Wonder stuff felt like amateurish garbage. He didn’t tell us where to stand and Olga just kept dancing all the time. I thought she was on mushrooms or something. The Knight of Cups and Saucers though was a solid piece of work. It had a great story and was very satirical about Hollywood.

Production

Christian Bale and Cate Blanchett were hired on the strength of the script and production began. Christian Bale tells the story of his first day on set:

We gathered around and we all had to bring our scripts and the novel that we had all been given copies of. I thought we’ll have a table read or something. But Terry takes all our scripts and books and what not and he shreds them in this big industrial shredder. Then he takes handfuls of the shredded script and he gives it back to us in little bags and he says ‘okay here are your lines’. We thought it was a joke at first, but we had to bring these bags every day to the set.

Natalie Portman talks about Terrence Malick’s technique:

It is so liberating as an actor to have a director who says to you: ‘There is no such thing as a fireproof wall’ and then you have to play the scene. We had a love scene and Terry would shout things out like ‘his face is made of bees’ and ‘Christmas is like Easter but with more chocolate’. Often I didn’t know what to do and he would shout dance and I would dance. Or wander about. We would be intently acting our roles and doing what we could with the material and I noticed that Terry and Emmanuel were in the corner and Emmanuel was filming Terry’s belly button. I mean it was literally navel gazing. Genius.

Post-Production

It has often been the case that Terrence Malick films have taken a long time to come to the light following the end of filming.

Jack Fisk long time collaborator speaks:

Terry often finds the film in the heaps of footage that he has taken. He listens to music and he has the actors read out pages and pages of voice-over and somehow he finds the film. Very much like a sculptor might find a statue in a block of stone.

Freida Pinto spoke about her role in the film:

Once filming was done Terry would call up time and time again and we’d go into the studio and he’d have me whisper the voice-over. Some of it was stuff he had written, but most of it was the Little Book of Calm by Paul Wilson.  I read that book about five or six different times and it’s all in the movie. Other actors were reading greeting cards and Christian Bale read the whole of a Sven Hassell novel but that never made it into the finished film.

For more of The Making of… CLICK HERE.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT TERRENCE MALICK

HOLLYWOOD – Everyone knows Terrence Malick is a genius, but no one knows why.

The Studio Exec FACT Squad have spent the weekend listening to whispering voice-overs and cavorting around wheat fields during the magic hour. The Terrence Malick FACTS are as follows:

1. Between the release of Days of Heaven (1978) and The Thin Red Line (1998), Terrence Malick opened up a meat providing business called Malick’s Meats, which provided restaurants with high quality meat substances, pastes, salami, burgers and sausages. However, in 1995 Malick sickened by the stench of blood and endless killing – which he would participate in personally donning a special slaughtering apron that made his torso look like the Venus di Milo – he decided to return to film making.

Malick (1982)

2. Although he has a reputation as a recluse, Terry is actually a party animal whose favorite tipple is Jagermeister. His contract stipulates a constant supply of Jagermeister which he drinks via a feeding pipe that is hidden in his hat. His love of hats is legendary, with the director appearing as April in a free calendar given to French readers of the January 1985 edition of Chapeau.

3. Malick’s reputation as a philosopher is unearned. He doesn’t like reading and when asked about Heidegger told the interviewer that he didn’t watch much soccer.

4. Many actors credit Malick with offering them valuable career advice. Richard Gere, Sissy Spacek and Martin Sheen all won early fame in Malick’s films. Jim Caviezel would pester Malick incessantly about what role he should take after The Thin Red Line. ‘Jesus Christ!’ the director finally exploded and Caviezel took him at his word.

5. The quality of each Terrence Malick film goes down in inverse proportion to the number of editors who work on the film. Badlands = 1 editor. To the Wonder = 5 editors. Knight of Cups = 243 editors.

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

ZOOLANDER 3 GETS NEW POSTER

HOLLYWOOD – Zoolander 2 has only just come out but plans are already afoot for the closing film in Ben Stiller’s comedy trilogy: Zoolander 3: We Bought A Zoolander.

Ben Stiller leaked the new poster to the third entry of the Zoolander trilogy – Zoolander 8 – onto the internet today and the Studio Exec was there to mop up the new synopsis. The new film is to star Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander as well as Owen Wilson as Hansel and Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson.

We’re huge fans of the Cameron Crowe picture We Bought a Zoo and for years I’ve wanted to do something that would be a homage to a film that has really influenced my career. I don’t think I would ever have had the nerve to have made Dodgeball or Tropic Thunder without the inspiration that Crowe has given me over the years.

Zoolander 3: We Bought a Zoolander is only the latest in what looks like a heavy year for We Bought a Zoo spin offs, with Matt Damon’s new Bourne film also taking the Cameron Crowe route of whimsy. Crowe himself is philosophical about the impact of his 2011 light family comedy.

I just make the film I want to make. If it is a huge success, I’m really pleased obviously and if filmmakers come back and say they’re influenced by it, then all the more. I know Terrence Malick is a huge fan and has for years been talking about a shot for shot remake. Although Stanley Kubrick died long before the film was released he also wrote in his diaries a synopsis for a film called ‘We Bought a Safari Park’ which sounds very similar to what I did. Tom Cruise (another fan) told me that Kubrick wanted to make it with him and Nicole after Eyes Wide Shut.

Other We Bought a Zoo spin offs in production include a Die Hard spin off and a Star Wars anthology film.

Zoolander 3: We Bought a Zoolander will be released in 2017. Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

THE REVENANT – REVIEW

THE REVENANT – REVIEW: Alejandro González Iñárritu’s follow up to Birdman, The Revenant is an inspiring tale of survival ruined by blatant product placement.

Drowned on the Titanic, jailed for embezzlement, lobotomized on an island, beaten by Jack Nicholson, betrayed, basketball diaried, tricked into suicide by his girlfriend and a priest, Leonardo diCaprio has to be one of the unluckiest men alive. In The Revenant he’s torn to pieces by a bear and frozen by a hard winter, attacked by Indians, half drowned in a river and dropped from cliffs. As if this wasn’t bad enough, Tom Hardy offs his son and leaves him for dead. It’s almost as if Iñárritu is putting DiCaprio through some sort of Oscar endurance test. But it’s well worth the journey and diCaprio is magnificent along with Hardy.

With Terrence Malick’s cinematographer Emanuel Lubezki and set desginer Jack Fisk, there’s a fair bit of the Malickian here, but Iñárritu is more interested in nature red in tooth and claw. Immersed in the elemental extremes of fire, water, frost and violence, The Revenant drags the audience through an unforgiving wilderness. A history of massacres looms in the background and cold freezes throughout the film. There’s also a bit Tarkovsky with visions of floating women and sopping landscapes forgotten by an absentee God. Occasionally, the story veers too far into the extreme with logic and credibility be damned, a precipice too far if you will. But I’ll be gored by a bear and buggered by it too, if you can find a more fascinating and visually sumptuous depiction of why we have dentistry and central heating.

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TERRENCE MALICK CONFIRMS STAR WARS ANTHOLOGY ‘JABBA’

HOLLYWOOD – Cult director Terrence Malick has confirmed that he will be directing a Star Wars Anthology movie, entitled simply: Jabba.

The reclusive director of The Tree of Life and To the Wonder, Terrence Malick will direct a new Star Wars spin off movie based on the early life of Jabba the Hutt entitled simply Jabba. Very little is known of the movie, but the Studio Exec was able to talk to the notoriously shy director.

This is what he said:

I’ve always been fascinated by the desert. One of my favorite films is Lawrence of Arabia, so when Kathleen [Kennedy] telephoned and said they were wondering if I’d be interested in doing anything in the Star Wars universe, I said straight away yes, but it would have to be set on Tattooine and the character I would be most interested in would be Jabba the Hutt.

Why Jabba the Hutt?

I’ve always been interested in the way a soul that is so capable of joy and glory, becomes also capable strangely of destruction and wickedness. Watching Return of the Jedi, I always thought that Jabba was capable of appreciating beauty, but at the same time his own ugliness made him destroy that beauty. His tragedy was that he could appreciate the lithe beauty of the dancing girl and slave Leia, but he could never truly reach them. His was forever a yearning without any real chance of contact. And that was the root of his violence.

I see. 

I think it was Schopenhauer who said that life is divided between desire and boredom and in a nutshell that is Jabba’s dilemma. But in the new film we’ll see a young Jabba, a young creature with a dominant strict and somewhat distant father, and a beautiful dancing girl mother who represents grace and nature. It will be her early death in the maw of the Rancor that will scar the young Jabba forever and force him into believing that the toothed vagina of the Sarlacc Pit is the reality of love.

How will the film be stylistically?

Emmanuel Lubezki is very enthusiastic to be on board, so might beautiful photography. The Magic Hour will look gorgeous with the sand. You think of the best part of Episode IV, it was Luke gazing at the two setting suns. So we have more magic hour! We’ll have lots of voice-over. And Rachel Weisz will get cut out of the final movie again.

Who is going to play Jabba?

I know you want me to say Jonah Hill or Kevin James, just for the easy laugh. Am I right?

Okay, who will it be?

Jonah Hill. Definitely.

Jabba will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

TERRENCE MALICK’S NEW FILM INSPIRED BY SON ZAYN MALIK

HOLLYWOOD – Terrence Malick’s new film The Singer Stepped Out is directly influenced by the career of his son Zayn Malik who recently left the ‘pop’ group One Direction.

The garrulous filmmaker and director of such films as The Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life Terrence Malick is to make a new film based on his son Zayn Malik’s singing career. Malick spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the venture:

It is going to be unlike anything I’ve ever done before. It’s not going to have a voice-over! And it’s actually a musical. But all that aside, it’s just great to have an opportunity to work with Zayn after years of being estranged.

What was the cause of the estrangement?

Well, I have always been a genius film director, but I guess I wasn’t always the best father in the world. I used to whisper a lot to him about nature and the soul and I guess kids just want to play Nintendo and have fun. For a while there he was very angry. So much so he even changed the way he spelled his name to a new trendy fashion without the ‘c’, but his career took off and we would find ourselves booked on the same talk shows.

Who had the idea?

We both came to a juncture in our careers. To the Wonder and Knight of Cups were greeted by audiences with the same warmth as you’d get offering urine samples in champagne flutes. Zayn had left One Direction and was at a loose end and we got talking about his career and we said why not? I think it’s going to be groovy to see our two audiences come together. Many of whom don’t even know we’re related. Zayn will play himself and Val Kilmer is on board to play Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling is playing Natalie Portman and Natalie Portman is playing Christian Bale. Mickey Rourke, Rachel Weisz and Adrien Brody are in it as well but we’ll cut them out. We always do. It’s kind of a tradition

Will any other One Direction members participate in the film?

That sack of talentless shits! No way.

The Singer Stepped Out will be released in 2019.