CHRIS PRATT: NEW MAGNIFICENT SEVEN ‘SET IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS THE RIDICULOUS SIX’

HOLLYWOOD – Chris Pratt has confirmed that the new version of The Magnificent Seven is ‘set in the same universe as Adam Sandler’s The Ridiculous Six.’

The Magnificent Seven – a remake of the 1960 classic with Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen – also belongs in the same universe as The Ridiculous Six, Chris Pratt has confirmed:

Very early on in the process Antoine Fuqua sat the whole cast down and explained that although we were respecting the original 1960 film and beyond that Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, our main inspiration would be much closer to home. Namely Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous Six. Although not a direct follow on, or a sequel, we exist in the same rambunctious comic universe full of lewd stereotypes and fart gags. It’s really something. I think everyone is going to be blown away.

Do Sandler Sandler and Taylor Lautner appear?

What do you mean Sandler Sandler?

I meant Adam Sandler, sorry. It was a slip of the tongue.

Still I like it. Sandler Sandler. Sounds like a boutique. But to answer your question: yes. Antoine and Denzel both talked a lot about ‘the anxiety of influence’. The idea is Sandler Sandler and some of the other cast from The Ridiculous Six turn up at the beginning of our film at the railway station in a homage to the opening scene in Once Upon a Time in the West and we gun them down and, in that way, establish ourselves and what we want to do with the film.

The Magnificent Seven will be released on September 23, 2016.

 

 

CHARLOTTE RAMPLING AND MICHAEL CAINE STEAL OSCARS FROM BLACK PEOPLE

HOLLYWOOD – The controversy concerning Oscars and diversity continues as Michael Caine and Charlotte Rampling allegedly broke into several houses last night and stole the Oscars won by black actors and directors.

Charlotte Rampling and Michael Caine last night have broken into the houses of several famous black actors and Hollywood players – including Denzel Washington, Steve McQueen, Lupita Nyong’o and Spike Lee – and stole the Oscars which they won. Charlotte Rampling told a French radio station:

It’s not fair that black people win Oscars. It’s racist against white people who are dying in all parts of the world because they haven’t won an Oscar.

According to her own confession, the two actors set out with a map and a set of housebreaking tools around seven thirty last night and by early this morning has accrued several Academy Awards which they proudly showed off to photographers (see picture above). Michael Caine was rather less bullish in his remarks, telling the BBC:

It’s all just a bit of fun really. To tell you the truth I’ve always been a little bit in love with Charlotte so she can ask me to do anything and I’m game. Of course, we’ll give the Oscars back, but I think we’re going to have a little fun and make it into something like a treasure hunt or something.

Lupita Nyong’o was actually in when the Rampling Caine robbery team called round and said that she grew suspicious when Charlotte Rampling asked to use the bathroom and then was found poking around in the bedroom.

The police said that they weren’t investigating the incident because Charlotte Rampling and Michael Caine are both white.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT MICHAEL FASSBENDER

HOLLYWOOD – He is one of the most exciting actors around, appearing in Slow West, Assassin’s Creed and a new version of Macbeth, but what do we really know about Michael Fassbender?

The Michael Fassbender FACT squad parachuted behind enemy lines last night, to get FACTS! Here they are:

1. Michael Fassbender has a large penis.

2. Michael Fassbender’s penis is half Irish and half German, a fact which led to Quentin Tarantino casting him in Inglourious Basterds.

3. The many failings of Prometheus could not be blamed on Michael Fassbender’s penis, which was the best thing in it.

4. Michael Fassbender’s penis is due to perform a one man show off Broadway. Details are unconfirmed but it is mainly believed to be stand up.

5. Michael Fassbender’s penis is attached to a versatile and talented actor who has been brilliant in Hunger, Shame and 12 Years a Slave as well as some films not directed by Steve McQueen, like X-Men: First Class and Frank.

For more FACTS click HERE.

COUNTDOWN TO 2014 OSCARS BEGINS BY MISTAKE

HOLLYWOOD – The countdown to the 2014 Oscars has officially begun, following a mistake.

The New Year is here and is often the case some confusion follows in the wake of too much good cheer and celebration. And it was so in the Academy of Motion Pictures and Arts when the countdown to this year’s Academy Awards, or Oscars as they are informally known, was officially initiated. So much so that it accidentally began to the 2014 Oscars and not this year’s 2015 Oscars. An unthinking keystroke means that by the Academy’s own secret rule book the entire 2014 ceremony will have to be replayed before the 2015 one can take place a month later.

 

A spokesperson for the academy was distraught:

We’re going to have to listen to all of Ellen’s terrible jokes and we’re going to have to try and reconstruct that awful selfie. All the awards will have to be announced and the winners and losers will have to feign surprised delight and barely concealed hatred. Steve McQueen is going to have to do that stupid up and down jumping thing he did.

I think it’s just called jumping.

Yeah, well, he’s going to have to do it again. It’s going to be a logistical nightmare and the viewing figures will suffer, almost certainly.

And what about the Oscars in 2015?

I think it is going to be a tight competition between Pompeii and Dumb and Dumber To, with Left Behind being everyone’s dark horse possibility.

The Oscars 2014 take place on the 22nd of February, 2015.

SHAME RE-RELEASED IN IMAX 3D

HOLLYWOOD – Steve McQueen’s second feature – Shame starring Michael Fassbender – is to get a 3D IMAX release this month.

James Cameron said that this ‘was exactly what 3D was for.’

The Aliens director went on and on:

Can you imagine Michael Fassbender’s massive performance on the massive IMAX screen and then add to that the 3D which will mean you can almost, in the words of Depeche Mode, reach out and touch it? I know that I’ll be first in line to see that.

Steve McQueen himself remains skeptical of the new technology.

‘Cinema itself is an immersive experience and I’m not sure what this can add,’ he told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY. ‘But then again, money.’

Shame will be on limited release in IMAX cinemas near you from Friday.

STEVE MCQUEEN SIGNS ON FOR MOCKINGJAY PART 2

HOLLYWOOD – Following his award winning  and critically acclaimed slavery drama 12 Years a Slave, British director and conceptual artist Steve McQueen has signed on to film Hunger Games: Mockingjay (Part Two).

Francis Lawrence – who is directing the first part and was supposed to be directing the second part – expressed his dismay in a statement issued exclusively to the Studio Exec: 

Apparently the studio called Steve McQueen in for a meeting and basically said they wanted him to work with them and they would let him have the pick of projects. He immediately chose Mockingjay: Part Two. My understanding is they tried to dissuade him but he was determined and said it was that or nothing.  

Although not an obvious choice, McQueen explained: ‘I am a concept artist – do you understand that? – yes, and the Hunger Games is a concept. I wish to work with that concept. But … as an artist.’
Fans of the franchise reacted with overwhelming enthusiasm. On Twitter @ILuvJLawMoreThanMy10MonthOldBaby wrote:

McQueen is Totes Amaze in Great Escape!!! #KickingNews

Hunger Games: Mockingjay (Part Two) will be released in 2015.

 

12 YEARS A SLAVE: REVIEW

12 YEARS A SLAVE: REVIEW – Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor) was a freeman living in New York. He was kidnapped and sold into slavery.

You probably don’t know this, but Steve McQueen has made a film of his autobiography 12 Years a Slave with a more than respectable cast (Michael Fassbender, Lupita N’Yongo, Paul Dano, Paul Giamatti, Benedict Cumberbatch, Scoot McNairy and Brad Pitt), and produced by Brad Pitt. It’s a moving and thoughtful piece, beautifully photographed and with an elegaic Hans Zimmer score, and as befits a film from the perspective of a violinist it seems to think in music. The film has already been amply awarded and critically recognised and looks set to get even more accolades as the season progresses. And if there were anymore doubt about its artistic worth that was quickly dispensed with when it received its final seal of approval: Armond White didn’t like it.

None of this is to say that the film is perfect or above criticism – the casting sometimes feels like a ‘we have to work together sometime’ arrangement and some of those recognizable faces stand out. As a visual artist, McQueen also has a predilection for the tableaux and his fascination with suffering – already evident in Shame and Hunger – breeds an eerie detachment. However, that said, suffering is a fascinating subject and if this is ‘torture porn’ (see Mr. White’s assertion) then so is the Book of Job, King Lear and St. Matthew’s Passion, at which point we can dispense with the term as a denoter of value. This film is not the final word on slavery, nor can any film claim to be, but it is a precisely and humanely rendered depiction of one man’s slave narrative and it deserves to be seen and heard.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ARMOND WHITE

NEW YORK – The New York critical fraternity were in uproar last night following Armond White‘s jeering of Steve McQueen as he received an award from New York Film Critics Circle last night for his film 12 Years a Slave.

Mr. White – formerly a chair of the association – called McQueen ‘a garbageman and an embarrassing doorman’. But who is Armond White? And what are the FACTS!

1. Armond White doesn’t believe a single word that he says or commits to print.

2. Armond White denies that Stanley Kubrick wore a beard in his later years, claiming that his hairline was incredibly low and he had a bald patch where his mouth, nose and eyes were.

3. Armond White believes Grown Ups 2 to be better than Tarkovsky, Kieslowski, Kurosawa ‘and any other motorcycle you care to name.’

4. Armond White has a succubus that lives in his armpit and is made only happy by provoking leering attention and contrariness, otherwise it bites him.

5. Armond White secretly wishes he had made 12 Years a Slave and has spent quite a lot of time since drunk and weeping.

For more FACTS click here

SPIKE LEE CRITICIZES ’12 YEARS A SLAVE’: TOO SHORT

HOLLYWOOD – Steve McQueen’s new celebrated film 12 Years a Slave has come under a barrage of criticism from veteran film maker Spike Lee, who declared that at only 138 minutes of running time, the film is ‘over eleven years too short.’

‘You know how reluctant I am to engage in an argument with another film director,’ yelled an incensed Lee over the phone.

But Steve McQueen can only blame himself. He put his claim in the title of the film. I called my film The 25th Hour, not 25 Hours for precisely this reason. If a director is going to handle the sensitive topic of slavery and this blood stain on American history and he calls his film 12 Years a Slave, I want it to last 12 damned years.   

Although the Do the Right Thing director admitted to not having yet seen the film, he said that it was likely not as good as it would’ve been had he made it. ‘For a start, I would’ve called it a “joint” and right there, the revolution begins,’ said Mr. Lee.

In the past Mr. Lee has criticized the Lee Daniels film The Butler (this was later seen to be a mistake and an apology issued) and Danny Boyle’s 127 Hours (‘nowhere near’), but at this point his fellow film makers seem to have grown used to the grousing. Steve McQueen responded to the criticism by shaking his head sadly and muttering under his breath ‘Oh, Spike, Spike, deary me.’

12 Years a Slave is currently showing in selected theaters. 

XAVIER POULIS: STEVE MCQUEEN’S POSTHUMOUS CAREER

Our resident cheese expert and Switzerland’s foremost film critic Xavier Poulis profiles an unsung come back.
 

GENEVA – The unprecedented creative revival of Steve McQueen has gone largely unnoticed in critical circles and it is time to set that right. Born in March 1930, Stephen McQueen had a troubled childhood, but found release in music and acting. He was to become the epitome of cool, jumping fences, driving fast cars and exuding a calmness that belied the personal demons and sometimes tormented emotional life of the human being. The Great Escape, Bullitt and Papillon proved him to be an actor of range as well as commercial pulling power.
Following his death in 1980 of cancer, the star of such films as The Blob and The Towering Inferno as well as the under-rated Tom Horn, withdrew somewhat from public life. Obviously considering his options and mulling over what many actors would have considered a terminal setback, it is now clear that McQueen was simply biding his time. Eschewing his former trade, McQueen came to realize he was more inclined to work behind the camera, as he thought his presence there would allow him to avoid the glare of the media which had so plagued him in life. 

His first film Hunger won a debut prize at the 2008 Cannes film festival. It starred Michael Fassbender and this would begin a fruitful collaboration. Upon winning the prize it became apparent that the appearance of the long dead McQueen would cause problems especially with the IRS, so in a bid to avoid this he applied for British citizenship, put on some weight and became black. Shame his second film proved just as critically popular as his first and yet very few connected these bold visions of cinema with the young man who had burned a hole in the screen on Wanted: Dead or Alive. His new film 12 Years a Slave will be the moment when the critical community – led by me – will finally reveal the astonishing breadth of what was and still is an astonishing career.  

STEVE MCQUEEN IS NOT STEVE MCQUEEN

HOLLYWOOD – Today shock waves fractured the fragile calm that had reigned in Hollywood since the news of Josh Brolin’s arrest, when a metaphorical bombshell exploded unleashing a hailstorm of burning fact shrapnel through the innocent bus queue of Southern Californian film life: famed and celebrated British Shame and Hunger film director Steve McQueen ended months of speculation and admitted that he was not Steve McQueen, the long dead American film actor.

Film historian Mark McKicklely said that the revelation only came as a surprise to idiots:

He’s black, he the wrong age, he’s a different body shape, he’s British, but most importantly, he isn’t dead. 

However, die hard McQueen fan, Donna Shack said that she was devastated:

We were hoping that he would return to acting and we could have had a whole bunch of sequels: The Great Escape 2, Papillion 2, The Magnificent Fourteen. Now that dream has gone. I feel like someone has literally ripped my heart from my chest. 

What do you think? Is Steve McQueen Steve McQueen or is Steve McQueen not Steve McQueen?
YOU DECIDE!!!