JEFF GOLDBLUM GETS A JEFF GOLDBLUM TATTOO

HOLLYWOOD – Jeff Goldblum – star of Jurassic Park and The Fly – showed off a new tattoo earlier today… of himself!

The 61 year old actor and jazz musician Jeff Goldblum said that he’d always wanted to get a tattoo of himself ever since he was a struggling theatre actor over forty years ago.

People told me not to do it because if I ever had to do a nude scene, or even take my shirt off it would be distracting. And that was true when David Cronenberg got me to strip for The Fly he said straight away ‘Thank God you don’t have a tattoo of yourself. That would be really distracting!’ So I was lucky I hadn’t done it, but nowadays no one wants me to take my shirt off so I figure I’m safe. Unless maybe Wes Anderson asks me but in that case he’ll love it. He’ll think it’s quirky.

The reception to the news was predictably explosive with some calling for Goldblum to resign from whatever it is he actually does.

I’ve always been a controversial figure. I uhm tend to provoke a reaction wherever I go. Uhm, you see, I have so much … I guess you’d call it personality. I have a lot of that. When it came uhm to chooooosing a tattoo, my wife, Emily, said, hey! Why not get one of yourself? And as ever she was right. I remembered my dream and here we are. 

Jeff Goldblum is currently appearing.

DANIEL DAY-LEWIS PLAYS THE DEATH STAR IN STAR WARS 9

LONDON – J.J. Abrams has confirmed that Daniel Day-Lewis will play The Death Star in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

“He was the first and only man on my list,” said Abrams: Continue reading “DANIEL DAY-LEWIS PLAYS THE DEATH STAR IN STAR WARS 9”

SPIN OFF STAR WARS: PORKINS BEGINS GETS STAR

HOLLYWOOD – Stand alone Star Wars movie Star Wars: Porkins Begins today confirmed Kevin James would star as Red 6 and the first synopsis was revealed.

Due for release after The Force Awakens and Rogue One, Star Wars: Porkins Begins will star Kevin James as Jek Tono Porkins, the man who said he could hold it, but tragically couldn’t, during the battle of the Death Star. It will be directed by Frank Coraci.

Also the Studio Exec can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the full official synopsis of the new stand alone Star Wars film:

Star Wars: Porkins Begins traces the early history of Jek Tono Porkins, an easy going commercial pilot from planet Bestine IV. He teaches the young ones pod racing and has an adoring young girlfriend. But when Tin Fanu, a sworn enemy and Imperial stooge, takes over the local pod racing little league, Porkins must step up and fulfil his destiny. He trains his disadvantaged youngsters and beats Fanu in a one on one race to save the Community Center from financial disaster.

Star Wars: Porkins Begins sees the birth of a Star Wars legend, from humble beginnings in an out of the way system, to the man who will sacrifice his life on the attack of the Death Star. Porkins is a role model and the hero next door, but from a Galaxy Far Far Away…

Kevin James spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the role:

Pumped. When I went to see Star Wars in 1977, I didn’t feel Luke Skywalker represented me. I dreamed of being Han Solo, but that wasn’t me either. No I was Porkins. The fat kid who explodes! This film will give us the opportunity to find out who Porkins really lived. How he became a hero. This is for all the other kids out there who think they maybe can’t achieve their goals because of body issues.

The film is believed to be part of a new trilogy which will end where the first Star Wars: Episode IV concludes.

Star Wars: Porkins Begins will be released in 2019. 

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

C-3PO ARRESTED IN GREECE

ATHENS – The King of Belgium and former Star Wars actor C-3PO was arrested in Athens last night in connection with an on-going crackdown on the Neo-Nazi political party the Golden Dawn.

A spokesperson for Belgian royal family said that C-3PO had been visiting Greece as a private citizen for purposes of tourism and that there was no official function involved. However, law enforcement officials had been tracking C-3PO and his connection to many European far right political parties, including Forza Nuova in Italy and the English Defense League in … well … England.  

Anti-Fascist campaigner and author of These ARE the Droids You’re Looking For, Eileen Smit said:

Ever since C-3PO became King of Belgium [for more on that story CLICK HERE] he has used his position to promote a series of anti-immigrant and politically repressive measures. Although some of his moves such as his public statements on Jawa extermination have been treated as eccentric jokes, his celebrity status has meant that he has become the recruiting poster boy for fascist and neo-Nazi groups everywhere.  

It is understood that Greek authorities are keen to get C-3PO out of the country as soon as possible and it is unlikely that criminal charges will be pressed despite the urging of the Belgian royal family who have become frankly embarrassed by the Golden One’s antics. A government source, however, remarked that the last thing they wanted was ‘for the protocol droid to become a martyr’. 

Star Wars Episode 8 will be released in 2018.

FAN THEORY ABOUT LORD SNOKE BREAKS THE INTERNET IN CHINA

HOLLYWOOD – A new fan theory about the mysterious identity of Lord Snoke in Star Wars The Force Awakens has broken the internet in China, state officials admitted today.

The theory, which was first aired on WeShitYouNot.com, states that the origins of Lord Snoke date all the way back to the prequel The Phantom Menace which was directed by George Lucas (the creator of the original Star Wars) in 1999.

The article argues as follows:

The Gungans are a race with incredible longevity. We already know that. We also know that having won the battle on Naboo almost single-handedly, Jar Jar Binks was largely sidelined by the Jedi and ostracized by the people he loved, including Anakin Skywalker. Having unsuccessfully moved into politics, he became increasingly involved with the machinations of Senator Palpatine who was to finally reveal himself as a Sith and proclaim himself emperor, having slaughtered the Jedi. But the cog in the machine was Jar Jar. Jar Jar had made it possible for Palpatine to defeat the Jedi. He was rewarded with a high rank in the Empire but once more was sidelined in favor of Darth Vadar, his old enemy Anakin Skywalker of course. With the defeat of the Emperor, Jar Jar managed to escape the Death Star #2, but not without being badly wounded, losing his floppy ears and his protruding eyes and his flappy mouth and having to have the whole lot replaced with a rather stupid looking CGI Andy Serkis suit. Using a voice scrambler and a projector he decided that he would create his own version of the Empire calling it the First Order and bossing it around via Skype.

Once the theory was translated into Chinese it began to make the rounds on social media helped by Weibo (the Chinese version of Twitter). Coinciding with the release of The Force Awakens in China the impact was such that entire city grids were left without power and some even said that the Chinese Premier Li Keqiang ‘shit himself’, so excited was he by the idea.

Star Wars The Force Awakens will be released in 2018.

GEORGE LUCAS’ FORCE AWAKENS EMAIL

HOLLYWOOD – Star Wars: The Force Awakens is currently smashing every record at the Box Office but there was one audience member who wasn’t entirely won over: George Lucas.

In an email to J.J. Abrams, George Lucas has expressed his feelings fully and candidly about Episode 7 of the Star Wars saga: The Force Awakens. The Studio Exec has EXCLUSIVELY received a copy of this email. Because of the newsworthiness of this particular item of correspondence, we have decided – after literally seconds of deliberation – to make it publicly available. Be warned, it does contain SPOILERS (if you want to read our SPOILER FREE review Click Here).

Hi JJ,

It was neat of you to let me have that sneak preview. I really enjoyed it, but – as you can imagine – I do have a few notes. Obviously you’ve made the film and do with them what you will. What do I know? I’m only the guy who INVENTED THE WHOLE F*CKING UNIVERSE *joking*. Okay, so here they are.

Luke Skywalker. WTF? Where is he? The whole movie I’m waiting for Luke Skywalker. Okay, he’s disappeared, but for the entire movie. Han Solo had disappeared in Return of the Jedi. Ten minutes into that film he was found, defrosted and back in the action. Christ almighty, JJ. This is Star Wars 101 here!

R2D2 spends the whole movie asleep. Not cool. This BB8 bullshit is never going to catch on. All that rolling around. Eeew. Reminds me of a Goddamned hairless testicle! And where is Jar Jar Binks? Surely you need some comedy in the film. I mean for the kids. No one stepped in ‘doo-doo’ or got their tongue paralyzed. Seriously, are you the same JJ who thought up the ending of Lost?

You misspelled Tatooine. Jakku? Not even close.

Han Solo and Leia. Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher are great obviously but I would have cast new actors to make them look a bit younger. I caught Taylor Lautner in The Ridiculous Six (very funny BTW). He would be perfect as Solo and Keira Knightley as Leia would have been a natural. File under missed opportunities.

14 parsecs – 12 parsecs – it’s a unit of space not time – asshole! And what was that bullshit with the Deathstar and the Starkiller base? Were you seriously just saying my dick is bigger than George’s dick? Is that what that was? Is it?

Kylo Ren should get his hand cut off (obviously).

Other than those minor criticisms I thought the film on the whole was moderately enjoyable. There are two more films coming up so I would give you some further advice if I might. The second film should be darker, the way Empire Strikes Back was. I would call it something like The Gungans Strike Back. Or Return of the Midi-chlorians. Those would be my favorite titles.

Live Long and Prosper, JJ.

G.L.

For more Star Wars click here. 

 

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS WILL MAKE MONEY

HOLLYWOOD – Star Wars: The Force Awakens will make money, it has been revealed.

Figures released following the opening of the seventh installment of Star Wars, directed by J.J. Abrams seem to indicate that the film will make a profit and not lose money as was feared. Although the film cost more than you could ever raise even if you sold your house, your family, the houses of everyone you know, all their families, their houses, and their cars, and if you put all the money you all earned and all the people within a ten mile radius of where you live in a pot it still wouldn’t pay for the catering. Despite that, it still looks likely that the latest film in the Science Fiction/Fantasy Space Opera will still somehow make coin.

Film expert Colin Efferman told the Studio Exec:

This is a weird thing. It’s almost as if lots of people buying lots of tickets has actually made more than the cost of making, distributing and advertising a film. I didn’t think there were that many people in the world bu I guess I didn’t count Belgium.

Variety and IMDb both said in unison: ‘We simply didn’t know there was that much money in the world. I guess they found some more.’

The money that Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be used to feed children without food, house the homeless, promote schemes to stop climate change and preserve the natural environment, promote peace and education in parts of the world where war has torn horrible wounds and generally promote peace and joy, goodness and justice throughout the world, via Disney. However, there is also the possibility that they will simply use the money to buy Harry Potter.

For more on Star Wars, CLICK HERE.  

SOME STAR WARS FOOTAGE ‘YET TO BE SEEN’

HOLLYWOOD – JJ Abrams revealed today that some footage from Star Wars: The Force Awakens is ‘yet to be seen’ and has not been included in the numerous trailers and TV spots which have so far been released.

The new Star Wars film The Force Awakens has to be the most eagerly awaited film of 2015 and fortunately there is still some footage left to be seen in the actual film that we haven’t already seen in the many trailers, international trailers and TV spots that have been released thus far.

JJ Abrams told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We have been very careful with the publicity material. We want to create a sense of anticipation but not to give too much away. The 90 minute trailer was – admittedly – pushing the envelope on the definition teaser, but at the same time I think we can all agree that no major plot points, except the death of Chewbacca and the turning of Luke Skywalker to the Dark Side of the Force, have been revealed. To be fair, fans themselves with their rabid speculation and endless forensic deconstructions of anything from the toys to the posters to the footage have contributed to a frenzy of information overload that risks spoiling the movie for everyone.

So what new footage can we expect to see?

Well, we haven’t shown the pre-credits scroll which I think everyone is going to be hyped about.

That’s so iconic.

I know. And we haven’t seen the post-credits scroll either. Which is going to be a lot longer and will include a lot of names fans won’t be familiar with. Of course you could go to IMDb and check out the full cast and crew list but this will be longer in the end and will include copyright and legal notices and a lot more detail.

Okay. Anything else?

Erm. No. That’s all that’s really new now.

For more Star Wars CLICK HERE. Image courtesy of the Pixel Faker, Facebook page here.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be released on the 18th of December.

NEW FORCE AWAKENS TRAILER IS 90 MINUTES LONG

HOLLYWOOD – The new international trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens is over ninety minutes long and features tons of new footage.

The new international trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens dropped on the internet today via Japan. It is ninety minutes long and features entire scenes and much of the story. So far was have had character poster (CLICK HERE) and a shorter trailer from which we already learned 117 things (CLICK HERE).

The new trailer features Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, and John Boyega, but still no Mark Hamill and no Hayden Christensen as yet. J.J. Abrams spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the new international trailer:

We began with teasers and just glimpses and everyone got really excited so then we decided to give you basically two thirds of the film. With mainly got music on it and a few other things, but this way there’s only going to be about half an hour of stuff you haven’t seen. It’s going to be marvelous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBT4QxC6eJs

 

For more Star Wars CLICK HERE.

 

NEW FORCE AWAKENS CHARACTER POSTER REVEALS SURPRISE

HOLLYWOOD – Star Wars: The Force Awakens character posters have been released and reveal a surprising inclusion alongside Princess Leia, Han Solo, Rey, Kylo Ren and Finn.

There is no Luke Skywalker, but the Star Wars: The Force Awakens character posters did reveal one surprise inclusion: Anakin Skywalker, played by Hayden Christensen. It seems unlikely that Anakin will appear in the main action in the film but his appearance has led many commentators and bloggers to include that there might well be a substantial flashback section of the film, relating to the early and much loved prequels. Christensen’s inclusion in the cast had already been revealed by the Studio Exec when we published Exclusive images: click HERE. He will join Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, and John Boyega as well as Mark Hamill, presumably. But not Alec Guinness as we learned here

Xavier Poulis, owner and commentator of ManyBothansDied.Net, writes:

Hayden Christensen’s inclusion does seem to screw with the timeline and one can only assume that J.J. Abrams is returning to the prequels to try and rectify some plot points. What will be interesting is how this works out with the other stories that we know are taking place and what this back story will mean to the actual action of the film. I think I am not alone in saying that all fans will be pleased to have Hayden Christensen back in any shape or form. He is a class act. I do worry about the story of his inclusion in Rogue One though.

However, some have claimed that the delay in the release of the Hayden Christensen and the slightly different aesthetic might indicate that it is in fact a fake. Perhaps placed by Christensen himself who is still waiting for production to begin on Jumper 2.  This theory was put to rest by an email received last night from J.J. Abrams which said:

Hey, Studio Exec!

Hayden Christensen is definitely in the movie. He has a small but really important part and he is an excellent actor. I think Jumper 2 is going to blow us all away.

Best Wishes

Hay  J.J. Abrams.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

For more Star Wars CLICK HERE.

ALEC GUINNESS WILL NOT BE IN THE FORCE AWAKENS

HOLLYWOOD – It will be a disappointment to many, but today it was revealed that Alec Guinness will not return to his role as Obi Wan Kenobi in the new film Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Alec Guinness played Obi Wan Kenobi in the very first Star Wars has been a great favorite of fans, reappearing as a ghost in Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, but J.J. Abrams in a video interview for Hollywood Reporter revealed that Guinness would not be in Episode 7: The Force Awakens.

Abrams explained, responding to a question from Steve Guttenberg:

I’m afraid we won’t have Obi Wan Kenobi back. Although Ewan MacGregor has been eager, persistent, some might even say borderline stalkery, we just didn’t feel the character would real fit in with our universe and our take on where we wanted to go. As for Alec Guinness, sadly Alec passed away in 2000.

However, some fan sites have reacted with disappointment and anger at the decision. ManyBothansDied.net published a scathing post that went so far as to call for a boycott and dismissed Abrams’ ‘reasons’ as bogus.

Obi Wan Kenobi as played by Alec Guinness is an essential element to the Star Wars mythos and should be included. As for Mr. Guinness being dead, sharp-eyed fans will notice that so is Kenobi in Empire and Jedi. Far from impossible to have the deceased Guinness play the role, if anything, it would be typecasting! I’m sure his ghost would be more than happy to alleviate the tedium of the afterlife with an opportunity to be part of the most successful, Science Fiction/Fantasy franchise in the history of the world.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be released in December, 2015. For more on Star Wars click here.

REVISED FORCE AWAKENS POSTER ALLAYS FEARS

HOLLYWOOD – A new Star Wars: The Force Awakens poster has been released to allay fears that an iconic figure from the series might be absent from the film altogether.

With the release of the first official The Force Awakens poster yesterday, the reaction was instantaneous and unanimous -as if a million voices had cried out in pain and had been silenced: where’s Jar Jar Binks? Such was the furor with even President Obama tweeting his disappointment that Disney took the unprecedented move of releasing a revised poster.

Film director J.J. Abrams issued a statement with the new poster:

We had perhaps tried to be too clever. We wanted to tease Jar Jar but then the idea came to not have him there at all and build up tension. But we got so much blow back from it, the risk was this was going to overshadow the release. There were some fans who were even talking of organizing a boycott of the film and we’re making it for the fans, so that would be the worst possible outcome.

Jar Jar, however, is not the only noticeable absence. Stills have already shown that Hayden Christensen has got a prominent role in the new film, but his absence from the poster has caused speculation that he might only appear in flashback. Likewise, lead character Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) is also a notable absentee.

‘Oh he dies in like the first six minutes,’ Abrams reassured us. ‘Erm, spoiler, maybe!?’

Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be released December 18th, 2015.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

THE FORCE AWAKENS POSTER REACTION: WHERE’S JAR JAR?

HOLLYWOOD – Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens official poster has been released but the question on everyone’s lip is ‘Where is Jar Jar?’

The most anticipated film of 2015 Star Wars: The Force Awakens got its official poster today, but the reaction has been one of shock and confusion. ‘Where’s Jar Jar?’ tweeted President Barack Obama. And he wasn’t the only one expressing shock and outrage. Writer and director of previous Star Wars hits, George Lucas posted an entry on his blog THX 1139:force awakens

I can’t believe Jar Jar Binks does not feature prominently on the poster for the Force Awakens. Jar Jar is Star Wars – the spirit and the reality. I can’t for a second imagine a Star Wars movie without everyone’s favorite Gungan. Disney have f*cked up and that J.J. Abrams… I don’t have words. Except scum and villany perhaps.

However, some believe that it is a clever part of the publicity. Star Wars fanzine writer Billy Nomants told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

It is obvious that JJ Abrams and Kathleen Kennedy know how important Jar Jar is to every fan and they would never drop the ball like this. I am absolutely sure that they have left him off the poster as a tease, a way of building up our excitement to extraordinary levels. Come December 18th we’ll be there and Jar Jar will as well I’m sure otherwise, we’d have to say ‘How wude!’

Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be in cinemas from December 18th.

 

SNEAK PEAK OF TAYLOR LAUTNER AS THE YOUNG HAN SOLO

HOLLYWOOD – The Star Wars stand alone movie dealing with the young Han Solo has its star in Taylor Lautner, fresh from his success a few years ago in the Twilight series.

The news broke following the excitement of the new Force Awakens trailer and the internet went crazy. Taylor said that he is keen to hear his first fans talk about Team Han, rather than Team Jacob: ‘It’ll make a nice change.’

We asked Taylor, how he felt about the original Star Wars films:

Well, I thought the first three weren’t very good, but as soon as Han Solo and Luke Skywalker turned up they really improved. 

What have you done to prepare for the role?

I’ve worn a waistcoat and it feels quite comfortable, but I’m going to insist that at some point I take my shirt off. Otherwise, I can’t really, you know, act. Properly.  

Have you spoken to Harrison Ford and what was his reaction to the news?

Harrison’s great. He’s been real supportive. I remember my first conversation with him. He said ‘I’m just glad it ain’t that goddamn Shia LaBeouf!’ I don’t think an actor can hear more encouraging words than those.

Han Begins will be released in 2016.