STAR TREK 3: SCRIPT LEAK

HOLLYWOOD – News in that Simon Pegg is co-writing Star Trek 3 with Doug Jung, and the Studio Exec is proud to be able to EXCLUSIVELY reveal the first draft.

EXT. SPACE – NIGHT

The Starship Enterprise is surrounded by KLINGON vessels.

They are firing their weapons at the badly damaged ship.

INT. BRIDGE – NIGHT

The bridge is a wreck. Spock is wounded and Captain Kirk sits bleeding in his swivelly chair.

SULU

Deflector shields are at 5 % Captain.

SPOCK

The ship will be destroyed in precisely thirty seconds.

KIRK (on the intercom)

Scotty, you have to get us out of here.

INT. ENGINE ROOM – NIGHT

Scotty is working heroically to fix the engine.

SCOTTY

I told you the engines couldnae handle it, but does he listen? No. And this is what happens.

KIRK (on the intercom)

Scotty, please! You have to save us, with your amazing Scottish ingenuity.

SCOTTY

Oh, so I’m not just comic relief?

INT. BRIDGE – NIGHT

KIRK
No. You’re an integral part of the crew. In fact it’s time you got a promotion.

SPOCK
That would be logical captain.

UHURA

Can I also just add that I’ve always been in love with you Scotty,

and if we come through this then I’m yours you hear, all yours!

SPOCK

That isn’t so logical.

INT. ENGINE ROOM – NIGHT

SCOTTY

The engines are back on line.

INT. BRIDGE – NIGHT

KIRK
Warp factor 5 Mr. Scott.

SCOTTY

I’m sorry, Captain?

KIRK

No, you’re right. I’m no longer fit to command with my recklessness

and callous inability to appreciate the people who actually make

things happen on my ship. Warp factor 5 Captain Scott.

SCOTTY

Aye, aye, Mr. Kirk!

EXT. SPACE – NIGHT

The Starship Enterprise flies away at warp speed.

The END

WILLIAM SHATNER REPLACES CHRIS PINE IN STAR TREK BEYOND

HOLLYWOOD – It is the news ever Trekker/Trekkie has been waiting for: William Shatner will take over from Chris Pine in Star Trek Beyond.

Rumors had been circulating about Star Trek Beyond casting problems for months with a source close to the production claiming that William Shatner had been spending a lot of time on set, ostensibly helping Chris Pine.

Subbing on directing duties from J.J. Abrams who made both Star Trek and Star Trek Into Darkness, Roberto Orci was quick to defend the decision:

Chris has done a wonderful job for us with the first two films, but basically everyone was missing that old Shatner magic so I ‘beamed him up’. Ha ha! Well, I telephoned him and offered him the gig. Initially it was going to be a cameo. A time travel kind of thing with Chris and Bill meeting up and having a discussion about life and it was a really touching moment on the script. People warned me that Shatner was an egotistical maniac but he was the sweetest guy. In the first meeting he was so concerned that Chris would be overworked he insisted that he take on the whole part himself and so we rewrote the script to fulfill that vision. Chris was so happy, he was in tears.

Orci was also forthcoming about some plot elements.

Yes, there will be Tribbles.

Meanwhile, Chris Pine is eyeing his post-Trek future.

He told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Oh, I have a lot of options. I mean Kirk was a great opportunity for a young actor like me, but I’ve got the Jack Ryan franchise which if anything is bigger than Star Trek and I have the sequel to This Means War, which everyone has been clamoring for me to do. And I have… Oh God. Oh God no. [Sobs uncontrollably]. WHY? WHY!!!??

Star Trek Beyond: The Trouble with Tribbles will be released in 2016.

STAR TREK 3: PLOT AND TITLE LEAKED

HOLLYWOOD – No sooner has J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek into Darkness warp speeded out of our memory banks than  Star Trek 3 teleports in with a leaked memo from Bad Robot Studios complete with film title and synopsis. 

Stark Trek: The Search for Kirk looks set to continue Roberto Orci’s trademark thievery:

Following their deadly battle with Khan, the crew of the enterprise come to terms with the [NEAR] death of Spock KIRK, but as they continue on their mission Kirk [SPOCK] becomes convinced that Spock [KIRK] is still alive on the planet where they launched the Genesis device  Earth. It turns out that McCoy has been implanted with Spock’s [KIRK’s] chaka-khan and a resurrected  Spock [KIRK] is alive as a small child on the planet surface. Klingons turn up intent on mischief played by someone from Taxi   Modern Family. Kirk’s [SPOCK’s] son is kidnapped and then murdered by the Klingon leading  Kirk [SPOCK] to say ‘Bastard Klingons, you killed my son’ 3 times.

 Stark Trek: The Search for Kirk will be released in 2015.