SNEAK PEEK FROM HARMONY KORINE’S HARRY POTTER SPIN OFF

HOLLYWOOD – When Harmony Korine was handed the reigns of the follow up movie to Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows Part Two, we all knew that the 40 year old enfant terrible of American cinema would take the franchise in a predictably conventional transgressive direction and so it has proved. 

The first publicity shots to come out from Harry Potter and the Abuse of  Peoples and Substances show Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter, a pale shadow of his former self, his body destroyed by years of abuse and intoxication. The corrective laser surgery on his eyesight and the plastic surgery to remove that bothersome scar means that he has become a babe magnet and while at home he keeps Ginny Weasley (Bonnie Wright) in a perpetual state of pregnancy while he goes out and indulges in his sex addiction at the local stables (?) Meanwhile Hermoine Granger (Emma Watson) dances around looking vacant and trying to fill her empty soul with the flooding numbness of alcohol and cocaine. Her husband Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) is driven to despair, walking around buck naked and threatening anyone who sniggers with a replica pistol.   

Harmony Korine commented exclusively to Studio Exec that:

The Harry Potter series for many of my generation is like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. These are the lives by which we have lived our own, but rather than indulge in glib power fantasies involving magic and mythical beasts, I’ve put the same characters into situations of ‘real life’, drug abuse, violence, disappointment, self-hatred, bitterness, vacuous emptiness and despair, sexual addiction and perversion, violence. Did I mention  self-hatred?

 Harry Potter and the Abuse of Peoples and Substances will be released on Xmas day 2016.

 

THE BLING RING: REVIEW

THE BLING RING: REVIEW – Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) has moved to LA and made a film with the best part of Godfather 3.

Based on ‘true’ events, the film starts with a kind of punkish promise, but it soon becomes drably repetitive pop art bullshit which seeks the nuanced profundity of Spring Breakers.
If you thought listening to people jaw away on cocaine, watching them dance in slow motion trances and take pictures of themselves with their phones is the best thing ever, then OMG you are going to die of excitement. Watch Mark and his spoilt rich brats break into the houses of spoilter richer brats! Laugh a the stupidity of Paris Hilton, not only because she’s stupid but she let them make the film in her house, even as they take the piss out of her.
The film is set up like a satire, but Sofia Coppola is so in love with her subject that she can only give it a mild ribbing, before making us feel they’re being punished harshly for their crimes. I was left wondering how they would have been dealt with if they’d been black teenagers breaking into Orlando Bloom’s house. Yeah, probably exactly the same.

SELENA GOMEZ: ‘I WAS RAISED BY WOLVES’

HOLLYWOOD – Spring Breakers star, actress, and singer, Selena Gomez – in a revealing and intimate interview with German cultural magazine Spunken – spoke for the first time about her early childhood and how it informed her later rise to fame and her ambition to achieve super-stardom.

The Wizards of Waverly Place starlet recalled her late father Eponymous Gomez, an explorer and Felicia his young pregnant wife. When they were forced to crash land in the Amazon rain forest they were given up for lost. Indeed, Eponymous had been badly injured in the crash and Felicia – in a state of shock – went into labor. And so the future girlfriend of Justin Bieber was born.
Ms. Gomez told Spunken:

I would have been lost. My daddy passed away from the injuries he sustained in the crash and my mother was eaten by ravenous wolves, but fortunately, and I’ll never truly know why, the mother of the pack took me for her own, suckled me and saw I ate all my raw flesh, until I was healthy enough to survive. To this day I never eat salad.

The German journalist asks shyly how come there were wolves in the Amazon rain forest.

Oh, dad always carried some wolves in the back of the plane in case of emergencies. That way if we crashed and he was killed and I was born prematurely and then mother died and I was left in the middle of the jungle defenseless, helpless, a new born baby with scant chance of survival the wild wolves, starved and traumatized would protect me and bring me up as a ‘fur-less cub’. You have to admire the man’s foresight because that is exactly what happened. 

How did it change you, living with wolves? 

It was great at first and they were very supportive when I started my career. Especially my pack mother. They would howl all night and I’d try to harmonize with them. They also provided me with a fierce will to succeed, whatever the cost. There was plenty of rough and tumble, I can tell you.

And do you still see your wolf mother?

No. Unfortunately, she passed away. As soon as I got enough money, shortly after I started appearing on Barney and Friends and had a proper agent and everything, I hired a helicopter to take me back to the crash site where the wolves still had their den. They came running to greet me, their tales wagging and I shot every last one of them with a recoilless machine gun.

Mien Gott!

Those bitches tore my mother to pieces and ate her while she screamed. That shit can’t go down unpunished.  

Reprinted with the kind permission of Spunken magazine. 

REVIEW: SPRING BREAKERS

REVIEW: SPRING BREAKERS – Harmony Korine shows us what Russ Meyer’s world would like if populated by the less endowed stars of Disney and Nickelodeon.

Showing a frenzied urge to break the constraints of their clean teen profiles, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson and Rachel Korine play a quartet of girls gone wild, who in their desperation to hit the beaches for Spring Break decide to turn their hands to armed robbery.

The partying proves as rough as their means of getting there and, after a run in with the law, they are bailed from jail by local musician and wannabe gangster Alien, played with grinning aplomb by Hollywood’s resident goof ball, James Franco, who has his own plans for the bikini clad waifs. Korine’s film is a hysterical and at times hallucinatory joyride of candy-colored tastelessness and cussed amoral hedonism. A generic hybrid, for the young lasses it’ll be a pussy riot Clockwork Orange, for the young fellas it’ll be a dribble fest and for their parents it’ll be the scariest horror film they ever seen.