MOSCOW – Spongebob Squarepants brings his own unique touch to an adaptation of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov.

Spongebob Squarepants and the Brothers Karamazov is due to start filming in Russia later this month. The long-gestating project was a dream of Spongebob creator, the late Stephen Hillenburg. A source close to the production, animator Pavel Steppingson told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We’re so stoked here in Russia. I don’t know if you know but Spongebob is like really fucking big here. I mean bigger than Mickey Mouse. That goddamned Мудак.

So what are we looking at here Pavel? A sort of Muppets Christmas Carol deal?

What? No! Absolutely not. This is not going to be a parody or anything of the sort. We like Spongebob here in Russia because he speaks to the darkness in men’s souls and so it came as no surprise at all to us that they wanted to do a faithful version of Dostoevsky’s novel. As Dostoevsky once wrote: “One can know a man from his laugh, and if you like a man’s laugh before you know anything of him, you may confidently say that he is a good man.” Well I have heard Spongebob laugh. And Patrick. And they are good people.

Will the other members of the Spongebob cast appear?

Obvs. Patrick will play Dmitri Fyodorovich, the sensualist older son. Squidward will play Ivan Fyodorovich, the sullen misanthrope. And of course Spongebob is Alexei Fyodorovich Karamazov, the youngest and most likable of the three brothers. Mr Krabs plays the father and Sandy plays the heroine, the fiery Agrafena Alexandrovna Svetlova. The cast are staying in Finland where they rehearse every day. In fact they’ve rehearsed already six months. It’s a tough text and Michael Haneke, the director, is trying to get everything he can out of them.

That’s amazeballs. 

Yes, it is isn’t it. Next month, principal photography will begin and we are hoping to get a Christmas release. You know, for the kids.

Spongebob Squarepants and the Brothers Karamazov coming soon.




HOLLYWOOD – The first reviews are in for True Detective Season 2 and the biggest surprise has been the appearance of animated character Spongebob Squarepants.

True Detective creator Nic Pizzolato explained to the Studio Exec the inclusion of Spongebob Squarepants:

When I finished the first season I knew we had done something very special with the team we had assembled. Woody Harrelson, Cary Fukunaga and Matthew McConaughey and I knew the easy thing to do would have been to simply try and repeat that and I knew that would have been entirely the wrong thing to do. So I decided to go in a totally new direction. I got a new director and I cast Colin Farrell, Rachel McAdams and Vince Vaughn. Initially I wanted Vince to provide a lighter shading with his hilarious every-man comedy persona, the likable schlub, but he was keen to do something different. That was great but it left us with a problem. Everyone looked like they wanted to take a shit they were so glum. I was drinking in West Hollywood and I bumped into Stephen Hillenburg, who I knew from back when we both worked on 60 Minutes together. I asked him about Spongebob and he was a bit down about how Spongebob Squarepants Sponge Out of Water had turned out. I didn’t think anything of it but the next day I got up to do some writing and I wrote the words ‘Who lives in a pineapple under the sea’. It was unbelievable.

What role does Spongebob play?

I wanted him to be the goofy desk sergeant that is always getting things wrong and yet providing Colin Farrell’s character Ray Velcoro with some welcome relief from all the brooding he has to do. His japes, whether trying the cocaine that he is supposed to be filing away as evidence, or jawing with the local hookers, just add another color to my palate. Imagine how dour it would be without Spongebob to cheer things up?

The first episode ‘The Western Book of the Dead’ sees a mobster trying to go straight and corruption rife in the LAPD while Spongebob accidentally leaves his trousers at home.

True Detective Season 2 is currently showing on HBO.