JON HAMM TO PLAY SPIDER-MAN

HOLLYWOOD – As more stories pour in from the Sony email hack it appears that the studio is looking to dispense of the services of Andrew Garfield and replace him with another actor.

Producer Scott Rudin and Marvel President Kevin Feige have exchanged a number of messages on the subject:

Hello Scott

We want Spider-Man back. What do you think the asking price will be?

We want an older Spider-Man. Audiences love that stuff so we’re thinking about Jon Hamm. It’s not official as yet but he’s been approached.

Kevin

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Hey Kev

I had a word. They said 500 million but that piss ant Garfield is contracted for another so he’ll have to be paid off if you want rid.

You mean the guy from Mad Men? That’s a bold choice. I hear he’s into some wacky sex stuff. You better check that out before he signs.

Scott

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Hello Scott

I looked into Hamm. He’s into sandpaper tubes and soldering irons, nothing heavy and nobody is pressing any charges. We did find this picture though. Can you get one of your guys to confirm if it’s real or not?

Kevin

Jon Hamm nude

 

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Hey Kev

Yep. It’s real. Apparently those sofas were made by a Mexican company that went out of business in 1997 but you can pick one up on ebay for around $300.

Scott