HAVE YOU MET JAMES FRANCO’S INCREDIBLY YOUNG LOOKING FATHER?

HOLLYWOOD – James Franco’s father reveals the secret of his youth.

The family resemblance is obvious but what many people don’t know is that Dave Franco is actually James Franco’s father! Dave Franco – who is also an actor starring in such films as 21 Jump Street and Nerve – spoke EXCLUSIVELY about his relationship with his son.

Many people think we’re brothers and I take that as a real compliment but the truth will out.

But you actually look younger than James.

I wouldn’t want to say anything about James’ lifestyle choices, not to the press anyhow. But all I can say for myself is lots of grapefruit juice and Pilates.

So that’s your secret?

It’s no secret, but that’s what I do.

And the acting is a family tradition.

I saw James do Spider-man 2 and I just thought, he’s great and it looks so easy. Why don’t you move over and let your old man take a shot? We have a rivalry and James will often retreat to his room sobbing. He was in there for weeks after Pineapple Express. But we also give each other advice and help each other out.

What does his mother think of all this?

She’s super-psyched. In fact she’s got into things too, but she’s using her maiden name. Including Spanish fascists, way too many Francos!

What’s her name?

Rooney Mara.

But she’s really young. She can’t possibly be…

Now I can’t give away her secrets, but carrot juice and yoga.

Nerve is in theaters now.

JAMES FRANCO WINS NOBEL PRIZE FOR EVERYTHING

STOCKHOLM – Film director, actor, painter, novelist, poet and co-star of Spider-man 2,  James Franco has swept the board at the Nobel Prizes, the Swedish and Norwegian Academy announced earlier today.

The Academy stated that the award which is usually divided into the Peace Prize and various Sciences, including ‘economic science’, had been awarded to James Franco ‘in recognition of his outstanding mastery of all fields of art, culture, science, performance, politics and life.’

In the past we have had some infamous omissions – Mahatma Gandhi being the most obvious. He was nominated for the Peace Prize but was assassinated before he could be awarded. To see that Gandhi didn’t get a Nobel Peace Prize and Henry Kissinger, or for that matter Barack ‘Drone’ Obama did, beggars belief and brings into disrepute the committee. It was with this in mind that the Academy decided to play it safe with Franco. If we had only given him one prize, the world would have been outraged by the exclusion of all the others so we got really drunk one night and someone shouted, ‘What the hell! Let’s give him the lot!’

James Franco responded to the news with ‘surprise and delight’:

I’d like to say I’m humbled, but with these cheek bones, that’s just not going to happen.

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