COULD SOKOVIA BE THE NEXT COUNTRY TO LEAVE THE EU?

BRUSSELS – Following the shock Brexit result of the UK’s EU referendum, small European republic Sokovia looks to be the next country to abandon the European Union.

The result of the Brexit referendum is still reverberating around Europe with many shocked and the far right across Europe clamoring for their own referendums to leave. In France Marie Le Pen has already called for Frexit, but the most likely to go first is the small central European republic of Sokovia.

Our Sokovia correspondent writes:

Everywhere the vote to leave the EU on the part of the English has been a surprise but here in Sokovia there is widespread belief that this small European nation will be the next to leave the EU.

Why is sentiment so strong?

Mainly because the Sokovians have always felt that they have been abandoned after Ultron attacked them and lifted their capital city high up into the atmosphere and then the Avengers blew it up.

But what has this to do with the EU?

Not very much but the Sokovians can’t vote to exit from the Avengers, can they?

Sokovia will go to the ballot box in August.

MARVEL BUY ROMANIA FOR FUTURE DESTRUCTION

HOLLYWOOD – Marvel have bought the European country of Romania in a deal worth $57 million and have slated the country for destruction some time in 2018.

Following the destruction of Sokovia in Avengers: Age of Ultron, Marvel have been on the look out for a new country to destroy in the hope of recreating the success of the Avengers film. A Marvel Studios insider spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about how they zeroed in on Romania:

The destruction of Sokovia everyone agreed was a huge success. Yes we destroyed the country, but every single citizen of Sokovia was given a Blu-ray DVD of the Avengers and DVD of Captain America: Winter Soldier, so you can’t say fairer than that. The one problem was that it was quite expensive for us to do and the money was mainly wasted in retrospect. All the different permits and permissions we needed and then the tax breaks weren’t quite as inviting as we thought they would be.

I see.

The solution though was fairly simple. If we owned a country outright then we could pretty much do what we wanted with it. We originally thought of Lichtenstein, which is very small and manageable, but Tom Cruise already owns it and doesn’t want to sell. Then we thought of Great Britain. It’s got to be good, right? It’s in the name. But they’ve had a really bad experience with London Has Fallen and they don’t even want to talk. They’re still putting Big Ben back up.

So Romania?

Yeah. Romania was our Goldilocks moment. Just right. $57 million is on the low side I feel. I mean we paid that much for catering on Iron Man 3 and that was just Gwyneth Paltrow.

When can we expected to see Romania destroyed?

I think we’ll destroy it over a series of films, but I would like the new Doctor Strange movie to have the destruction of Romania, maybe not even as a conclusion, but a pre-credit sequence.

And the people of Romania?

Well, there’s a huge refugee crisis in Europe as you know. So we’ll just get those people to join that but they’ll all be wearing brand new Thor baseball caps and carrying copies of the Captain America: Civil War novelization in their new  Incredible Hulk fanny packs.

Doctor Strange will be released in 2018.