BARACK OBAMA TO GUEST HOST SNL

NEW YORK – Following President Barack Obama’s hit turn on Jimmy Kimmel Live – reading nasty tweets – it has been revealed that POTUS will guest host Saturday Night Live some time later this year.

Showrunner Lorne Michaels told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We’ve been trying to book Barack now for years. He has a fine comic talent. His corrsepondent’s dinner speeches are classics of stand up and when I saw him on Kimmel, I won’t lie I was mad as hell. He’d always told us he was too busy with affairs of state to come over and do some hosting for us. So I got him on the phone and this time there was no backing out.

President Obama himself issued a statement confirming that the long awaited comedy turn would happen.

I am leader of the free world and one of the most powerful men in the Western Hemisphere. I’m Commander in Chief and I have the powers of the NSA, CIA, FBI and a number of drones at my beck and call. But what I really want to do is make people laugh. I enjoyed my time with Jimmy Kimmel and I am really looking forward to joining the SNL cast and kicking back with some hilarious sketches. I’m particularly eager to team up with Sarah Palin, who I hear is as funny a gal in real life as she is on television.

The news comes as rumors circulate about a possible prime time spot for Barack Obama in his post presidential career. The show that has been touted will be written by Jon Favreau and will be titled Barack Obama’s Laugh In.

Barack Obama presents SNL will be broadcast sometime in April.

 

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE IS ACTUALLY 46

NEW YORK – Following the much celebrated 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live, it was revealed today that SNL like many in show business was lying about its age.

Although the official biography states that the popular Saturday evening sketch show from New York was first broadcast on October 11, 1975, the Studio Exec can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that the show had in fact been running six years prior to its official broadcast date. TV critic Harold Palstien spoke to Studio Exec:

Of course everyone remembers the 1975 show with John Belushi, Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd. What they don’t remember is that originally the show was produced with a different cast and Lorne Michaels was desperately trying to garner favor with an older demographic. In 1969 Saturday Night Live debuted with Trevor Howard, Gregory Peck, David Niven and Roger Moore. They were all fine comedians in their own way, but they just didn’t gel. Later Peck would make the hilarious Omen, but it was obvious he wasn’t read for the sketch show format and didn’t really understand it. Howard was drinking very hard at the time and it was affecting his performance. And David Niven had decided rashly to improvize and refused to learn any of the material.

The New York Times reviewing the show called it ‘By far the worse thing to happen to my eyes, since I was stabbed in one of them by a sharp pencil in 1954. And that at least had the positive side effect that it didn’t have to submit to the indignity of SNL.’ However, others believed that the vintage show was ‘much better than when Dana Carver or Eddie Murphy were in it’, as Mike Myers wrote

Saturday Night Live continues.

KIM JONG-UN TO HOST SNL

NEW YORK – The Supreme Leader of the Democratic Republic of Korea, feared dictator and former member of the Axis of  Evil, Kim Jong-un will be hosting the next edition of NBC’s comedy sketch show Saturday Night Live.

The announcement came as something of a surprise as The Skeleton Twins actor Bill Hader had previously been announced as the host on that day but it was revealed that he had pulled out following intervention by the North Koreans. Hader’s agent publicly stated the actor had ‘a previous commitment to living’.

It is thought that Kim Jong-un will seek to replicate his hilarious appearance of two years ago where he dueted with eighties pop singer Kim Wilde on a comedy version of French Kissing in the USA and did a series of sketches featuring Kim Jong-Kardashian, a character that his serene eminence had written himself and which concluded with him meeting the real Kim Kardashian.

However New York Times TV critic, Max Belliferontus, warns viewers not to expect such heights of comic brilliance to be repeated:

That was a once in a lifetime cultural moment, like Susan Boyle singing for the first time or Neil Armstrong landing on the moon. There’s no point even trying to recreate the excitement that surrounded Kim Jong-un’s first appearance also because most of the creative team behind the original show were later found dead at the bottom of an elevator shaft in the Dakota Hotel. But what we can expect is some brilliant character work, some incisive political satire and a warm hearted buffoonery that has made Kim Jong-un so beloved of audiences and the only natural heir of the sadly departed Col. Gaddafi, who by the way is still a big hit on YouTube.

Kim Jong-un will be appearing on Saturday Night Live throughout the next twelve months and you will find it funny.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT MELISSA MCCARTHY

HOLLYWOOD – With new hit comedy Tammy in theaters, the Bridesmaids and The Heat actress Melissa McCarthy is once more kicking up a storm…. of laughter that is. But what do we really know about her?

The Studio Exec sent the FACT squad to find out.

1. When she was a child, a teacher once told Melissa McCarthy that she should stop clowning around and concentrate on her studies. We are delighted to report that that teacher committed suicide shortly after seeing Tammy

2. Melissa McCarthy’s grandfather is Senator Joe McCarthy, famed communist witch-hunter. Melissa – no friend to the followers of Comrade Marx – often warns co-stars about the dangers of the comintern and spends her Sundays writing detailed denunciations of what she sees as Un-American activities. 

3. Although Melissa McCarthy’s famous scene in Bridesmaids will go down in history as the funniest toilet joke in the history of gross out humor, her co-stars were not laughing as Melissa – ever keen on bringing what she calls ‘the Real’ to the screen, dosed them all with en-emetic medicines prior to the shoot.    

4. Melissa McCarthy is  well known for extracting tribute from her co-stars. Sandra Bullock got away with giving her a hunk of hair, but Jason Bateman lost a toe in what one insider described as ‘the most frightening wrap party I’ve ever been to’. 

5. As well as being a comedian, Melissa is also a keen burglar. With her husband Ben Falcone, she has broken into over one hundred residences and many say the crime wave of any given town goes up whenever a McCarthy film is shooting location nearby. 

For more FACTs Click HERE.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN OVERDOSES ON IRONY

CHICAGO – Veteran and award winning actor Christopher Walken was rushed to hospital early this morning, having taken a suspected overdose of a deadly cocktail of irony and self-parody.”

He’s been doing SNL sketches for years,” said pal, Jon Voight, “But they have this Funny or Die stuff, ‘Cooking with Christopher Walken’, and that stuff is fucking lethal.”
Family members knew that he had been working with the Muppets, but thought that it was for back pain and were not overly concerned. In the past, Christopher Walken has also appeared in a Todd Soldenz movie.

“Now,” said Robert De Niro, “we can see that for what it really was, a cry for help.”

Having accrued a body of cult films like Dogs of War and The King of New York, and some all-out classics like The Funeral and The Deer Hunter, Christopher Walken has more recently been taking the piss.

Alan Arkin is expected to be playing all his roles until Walken is well enough to return to serious acting.

Jersey Boys will be released in 2014.

SHOCK NEWS: MIKE MYERS IS ALIVE

MONTREAL – Earlier this morning shocking news hit Hollywood: Canadian comedian and Wayne’s World creator Mike Myers was discovered alive in his home at an undisclosed Malibu location.

Mr. Myers had been missing, presumed dead after the release of Goldmember (2002), his third outing as parodic superspy Austin Powers.
It can now be revealed that Mr. Myers – who shot to fame as the smart part of the comic duo of Wayne’s World in which he started with … uhm – has actually been hiding in plain sight. His agent Dorothy Habermaserraus, speaking exclusively to Studio Exec, said:

Mike’s been doing the voice of popular ogre Shrek. Well, I say popular, he started well, but that motherfucker is a dried up jolly green husk now.  

It was also revealed that Myers – toying with those who had mourned his disappearance for years – had also appeared in a Quentin Tarantino movie, Inglourious [Sic] Basterds [Sic].

Mr. Myers said that now he was alive once more he wanted to do something totally new. Austin Powers 4 is currently in pre-production as is Shrek 5,6 & 7.