JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT TURNS UP TO FORCE AWAKENS PREMIERE DRESSED LIKE KERMIT

HOLLYWOOD – Star of Sin City: A Dame to Kill For and 50/50, Joseph Gordon-Levitt turned up to the Star Wars: Force Awakens première in Los Angeles tonight, dressed like a Muppet.

In some sad sack Cosplay attempt, Joseph Gordon-Levitt turned up to the first screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens dressed in his pyjamas and with his face green and some home-made ears. A stormtrooper standing by told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I really liked Looper, but today Joseph Gordon Levitt was a sad embarrassment to the very serious business of Cosplay. We dedicate our time and energy to getting our costumes precisely accurate, but Levitt turns up and the asshole’s got the wrong movie.

Cheers and Hunger Games star, Woody Harrelson defended the actor saying, ‘Maybe he thought Kermit was in the picture.’ But everyone knows that Harrelson is always high so an endorsement from his mouth is almost worse than nothing. When asked what on earth he was thinking turning up to a Star Wars event dressed as a Muppet, Gordon-Levitt laughed it off:

Right, Muppet! Fantastic. After four hundred years so Kermity you will be. Ha ha!

Everyone agreed that it made no sense whatsoever. Noted linguist Noam Chomsky posted a video on YouTube criticizing Gordon-Levitt’s syntax. ‘It’s all wrong,’ he concluded.

Could this be the end of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s career?

Use the comment box below to tell us what you think.

To read our Star Wars: The Force Awakens SPOILER FREE review CLICK HERE!

NRA GETS OSCAR CATEGORY

HOLLYWOOD – The National Rifle Association (NRA) to get its own Oscar category at the upcoming Motion Picture Academy Awards.

The decision came following a marked increase in movies with firearms featuring prominently. John Wick, Taken 3 and American Sniper all use gun play as an essential element of the narrative, stated a  spokesperson for the NRA.

You can see that we’re winning the argument all across America. Guns have never been more popular or more beloved. Look at the success of American Sniper! Box office records shot to pieces. And Oscar nominations up the wahtoosie! Whereas The Lego Movie… where were the guns in that piece of shit?

But that was a kids’ film?

So what? Kids love guns and they even love to fire them.  Under proper supervision obviously. Not just stealing mom’s gun. That’d be wrong.

The category will be called ‘Most Imaginative Use of Guns in a Motion Picture’.

The nominations this year are:

John Wick

Taken 3

American Sniper

Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For

Still Alice

For more Oscars, click here.

FRANK MILLER: ‘PLEASE PIRATE SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR’

HOLLYWOOD – The creator of Frank Miller’s Sin City: A Dame to Kill For has taken the extraordinary step of asking people to illegally download his film.

Frank Miller, creator of the graphic novels Sin City and 300, yesterday called for torrent sites and private individuals to try and pirate his new film Frank Miller’s Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, directed by Robert Rodriguez:

The fact is no one is seeing the film and I think if there was a good quality cam out there then perhaps word would spread and some people would also go to the cinema to see the film.

But surely you’re not encouraging people to infringe copyright?

Yes and no. Obviously illegal downloads are a terrible thing and they are killing the film industry. But on the other hand they do at least give an idea of how your film is and set off word of mouth. Normally I’d never condone such a thing, but the film is called Frank Miller’s Sin City. It ain’t called Frank Miller’s Virtue City. If you get me. I mean we’ve been sending screeners out like nobody’s business so that the download will be good quality. HD screeners as a matter of fact. But it’s almost as if no one can be bothered with the Josh Brolin, Mickey Rourke, Powers Booth, Eva Green, Rosario Dawson and Jessica Alba and featuring Bruce Willis hit.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is available legally everywhere.

THE 2 MEN WHO WENT TO SEE SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR IDENTIFIED

HOLLYWOOD –  The two men who yesterday went to see Sin City: A Dame to Kill For have been identified as Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez.

Staff at the Drafthouse cinema in San Antonio, Texas said they were astonished when two men who arrived separately bought tickets. One witness described the scene:

I was working the popcorn concession when I saw this dude in a cowboy hat and all dressed in black. He looked like someone’s uncle at a Cosplay party who’d come as Jack Parlance. He mumbled when he asked for the ticket and the girl had to ask him twice and then he shouted: ‘Sin City 2!!! SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR! Is that so f*cking hard?’ Then he apologized and wept.

What happened next?

Then this other Voldemort like dude came in. He was dressed in black as well. I got this feeling he’d been waiting outside because he was sort of counting you know one Mississippi, two Mississippi… He asked how business was and the girl said it was okay, except for that lame ass Sin City: a Dame to Kill For and he exploded. ‘It’s called Frank Miller’s Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. If you don’t get the title right, how can you expect people to know what film they’re going to see?’ Then he bought a ticket and some popcorn and went in.

The spotting was bizarre for many reasons, but especially because the two men had already seen the film for free at the premier.

Frank Miller’s Sin City 3: Whatever is due out in 2016.