DORA THE EXPLORER LIVE ACTION FILM TO FEATURE THE WALL

HOLLYWOOD – Michael Bay’s live action version of Dora the Explorer will be very political.

Michael Bay spoke about his new live action version of the Nickelodeon TV show Dora the Explorer today.

The Transformers and Pearl Harbor director told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that he wants a Dora that is suited to Trump’s America. He said:

When Dora first came out the world was a different place. Most of us watched it with a sense of innocence. Little did we know that Dora actually comes from a world of rapists and criminals. Since Donald Trump’s election, I’ve decided to rewrite the script and now we’re going Dora going to the American border and discovering the wall. Will she be able to go over it? Will her backpack help her in some way? I can’t tell you yet, but I’ve got a feeling no.

Surely this is politicizing children’s television.

Well, the left wing did it first with Sesame Street. All that bullshit about the people in your neighborhood and having to speak Spanish. All we’re going to do is try to balance things up a little.

But at least Dora will give a positive role model for Mexican girls. 

Yes. I’m sure Emma will do a great job.

Emma?

Emma Stone. She’s playing Dora.

Dora the Explorer comes out in 2019.

 

HBO DENIES INTRODUCING ADULT THEMES TO SESAME STREET

NEW YORK – Sesame Street is now on HBO but the cable company are denying that they have interfered with content.

Beloved children’s program Sesame Street is at the center of a new controversy following the revelation that the cable company wishes to introduce its trademark adult orientated content. Dave Begby of Television Today told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that HBO were interfering with many of the creative decisions in the making of the show:

I know a few people who are on the inside of the production and there is a lot of feeling there that they have changed a number of things to bring the show more into line with shows that HBO have done in the past. Like The Wire, The Sopranos and Deadwood for instance.

But those shows were aimed at an …

An adult audience. Yes, absolutely. But HBO have come to regard swearing, nudity, violence and sex-position as part of their DNA. And this has seen some very strange decision on Sesame Street.

Okay. So give me an example. 

Where to begin? Bert and Ernie are now two sexy chicks who get it on constantly. The Cookie Monster is a crack smoking hobo. Oscar the Grouch speaks like Al Swearengen. Kermit the Frog still reports for Sesame Street News, but it’s all drive by shootings and gangland slaughter and Big Bird runs a crime syndicate that controls everything that goes on in the neighborhood. In fact, that song ‘The People that You Meet in the Neighborhood’ sums it up. It now sounds like Travis Bickle’s monologue from Taxi Driver put to music.

Sesame Street is now available on HBO.

SESAME STREET: THE MOTION PICTURE

NEW YORK – In what is widely being seen as a big up yours to former presidential candidate Mitt Romney, the Children Television Workshop have announced a brand new motion picture based on the popular educational television series. Jack Black will appear due to a clause in his contract that obliges every studio to put him in films whenever he wants. ‘We don’t want him,’ said a studio exec. ‘But his agent has our balls in a vice over this.’

The announcement came as fresh revelations about Big Bird came in. He was caught on camera early last week playing golf despite the fact he has been claiming a disability pension for three years because of ‘chronic eyesight problems.’ Big Bird blithely dismissed the charges of fraud saying, ‘If you saw that drive on the 14th freeway you’d know for a fact I was medically blind.’
The film will be directed by David Lynch, who has abandoned the Shia project in order to ‘fulfil a childhood dream.’