FIRST LOOK AT MICHAEL FASSBENDER AS STEVE JOBS

HOLLYWOOD – Many were bemused by the casting of Michael Fassbender as Steve Jobs in the new Danny Boyle directed biopic of the Apple ‘genius’, but doubters are eating their words.

The Studio Exec can reveal the first look at Michael Fassbender as Jobs in the classic pose that also graced the cover of the Walter Isaacson biography that was published shortly following Steve Jobs’ death.

Resident Jobs expert Xavier Poulis had this to say:

It’s uncanny. I mean Michael Fassbender doesn’t normally look anything like Steve Jobs, but here in this first picture he is almost like a creepy doppelganger, perfectly mimicking not only the IT genius’ pose but his eyes, his ears, his nose, his hair line and his turtle neck sweater. Move over Daniel Day Lewis, sit down Christian Bale, shut up Robert De Niro: there’s a new actor capable of extreme physical transformation on the block and his name is Michael Fassbender.

Author Isaacson was flabbergasted at the transformation of the Irish/German actor into the whiz kid of tech valley. A close friend of the writer said:

It almost looks as if you’ve just taken a picture of Steve Jobs and you’re just saying it’s Michael Fassbender, when actually it’s still a picture of Steve Jobs. Utterly amazing! What an actor!

Scripted by Aaron Sorkin and produced by Scott Rudin, the production went through a lengthy development process with many actors vying for the lead role, even as criticism was heaped on the film for even daring to challenge Ashton Kutcher’s magisterial performance in the made for TV movie Jobs.

Steve Jobs will be released in 2016.

 

SONY’S SECRET ASSASSINATION PROGRAM

HOLLYWOOD – A fresh email leak has revealed that throughout the 1980s Sony funded a top secret assassination program called Project Walkman.

Carol Hake, the head of Sony’s Innovation and Technology department contacted Scott Rudin last May amid fears a former agent of the program had gone rogue:

Morning Scott

I’ve just heard from Agent K. He confirms that Agent F has gone off the reservation. Headquarters are worried and are looking to implement the fail-safe.

Your advice has been requested.

CH

P.S Lovely to see you and Gina the other night. We’ll do it again soon.

—-

Hello Carol

I’ve spoken to Agent D and he confirms Agent K’s intel about Agent F. It doesn’t look good but we’ve been here before. You remember Cannes 92?

Let me talk to Agent X and get back to you.

Scott

—-

Hey Scott

Have you heard from Agent X?

We pulled Agent D, Agent M and Agent O in for a debrief. They all confirm our worst suspicions about Agent F. The top brass are getting twitchy but I won’t give the order until you make contact.

CH

—-

Yo Carol

Sorry about the late reply I ran into Shia LeBeouf on Sunset and we went for a few drinks. I spoke to Agent X and he said to call off the attack dogs. Agent F is solid it was just a misunderstanding.

Hope you’re well.

Scott

—-

Scott

You went for a few drinks? I haven’t heard from you in three f*cking weeks!

You’re too late. Agent F has been erased. You never made contact so they think you’re been turned. They’ll track your email and send somebody over. Get out of the house NOW!

CH

—-

Hey Carol

Ha-Ha, very funny. You had me there for a second.

You know how it is, when you’re partying with Shia time runs away with you.

I’ve got to go, Will Smith has arrived unexpectedly and I…

SONY EMAIL CALLS JAMES FRANCO ‘TALENTED’

HOLLYWOOD – Already reeling from the revelations of the recent hacking by the Guardians of the Peace, a new Sony email has revealed that top ranking executives thought James Franco was ‘talented’.

The exchange between Scott Rudin and Amy Pascal is much more amicable than the one previously published and involving the development of the Jobs movie. Even though the culprit has been arrested, hacked material continues to emerge.

<<Hey Amy,

Listen. I’m really pleased with the idea of casting James Franco with his buddy and Pineapple Express co-star Seth Rogen. I think the two are dynamite together. They will be this millennia’s Abbot and Costello. Mark my words. Good job Amy.

Scott>>

 <<Hi Scott,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know we don’t always see eye to eye (cf. Jobs emails) but I think we can both agree that James Franco is a no-brainer for this one. The guy has the whole package: smart, funny and dreamy to look at. Am I right?

Amy>>

 <<Hey Amy,

No you’re not wrong. Plus he’s a nice guy as well. And I hear he writes novels too. I’ve never read his book but one of my assistants tells me that it’s actually not horrible. Not that horrible.

Scott>>

<<Scott,

We should do more for Franco. I don’t think the world has had the opportunity to truly appreciate what a ‘talented’ guy he actually is. I mean, Spider-man 2 was obviously a game-changer, but he directs and writes poetry and appeared in a documentary about Marina Abramovic, the Eastern European tennis player.

Amy>>

<<Amy,

I love tennis! Jesus, it’s just crazy about how much we agree on this. I think we should just create a massive money pot dedicated to helping Franco do whatever it is he wants to do. Years from now the world will look back on this moment and say ‘Why did they not give the star of Oz: The Great and Powerful more exposure.

The Interview will be released despite all of this.