BIRD BOX 2 GETS FIRST LOOK POSTER AND SYNOPSIS

HOLLYWOOD – See the first poster and synopsis for Netflix’s Bird Box 2.

Bird Box was the most watched Netflix film according to their own figures and Bird Box 2 was immediately rushed into production. Gravity star Sandra Bullock will once more star in the tale of aliens taking over the Earth. She spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec about the story:

The end of Bird Box was open. We knew that we had more story to tell, but we didn’t know how popular the first one would be. Soon as Netflix said do you want to do another one? we already had the script ready to go.

The New Story

Just as in the first one we have aliens who have invaded the Earth. In A Quiet Place it was to do with the aliens’ sense of hearing. In our film it was to do with what you saw, so it was about sight. Now we want to extend it. So what happens is the next breed of aliens land and this time they smell really bad. So only people who have no sense of smell survive or those who fortuitously put clothes pegs on their noses.

The new film will be directed by Susanne Bier from a screenplay written by Eric Heisserer and Josh Malerman.

Bird Box 2 will drop soon.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

OCEAN’S EIGHT RUINS MAN’S EARLY MIDDLE AGE

ALASKA – The new female led Oceans film – Ocean’s Eight – has ruined a man’s early middle age, it was revealed today.

The 2017 remake of the 2001 remake of the 1960 Frank Sinatra relatively uninspired rat pack movie Ocean’s Eight will star Sandra Bullock in the Danny Ocean role as well as Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter and Mindy Kalin. Joining the cast will possibly be Rihanna and Anne Hathaway. However, the news has been greeted with despair by some fans of the original remake.

Richard LeComte Mets fan and theatre critic told the Studio Exec:

I was forty three when the original film came out. I remember queuing to see it with my first wife. We both like George Clooney and Brad Pitt for obviously different reasons. And we thought of Matt Damon as that promising young actor from Good Will Hunting and not the monster he has become. So the impact on my middle age can’t be overstated. It was vitally important in making me the man I would become a decade and a half later. And to have that film ruined again. After it was already ruined by Ocean’s 12 and 13 is just more than I can bear. I mean… women. What’s gotten into them?

Ocean’s Eight will be in cinemas in 2017.

JAVIER BARDEM PULLS OUT OF BLANKET FACE

HOLLYWOOD – Rumors are rife today that Javier Bardem has dropped out of Sam Raimi’s low budget horror shocker Blanket Face currently in pre-production, because the Spanish Skyfall star wants to do a Pirates of the Caribbean film.

Sources close to Bardem said that the star was concerned that scenes of early morning facial distress might have an adverse effect on his career. He is also understood to have always been a huge fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean films, specifically for the way they make money. If true, the news comes as another blow for the Drag Me to Hell director’s dream project which has already suffered from two other high profile desertions, Sandra Bullock and Charles Dance.

The synopsis for the film reads:

The latest in extreme horror, Blanket Face tells the terrifying tale of a mythical psycho-beast who creeps into bedrooms at night and leaves disconcerting lines on the faces of his victims. Psychic explorers Jose (Javier Bardem) and Margo (Sandra Bullock) check into the Fern Grove Hotel where creepy owner Xavier Fern (Charles Dance) has seen his business collapse as a result of Blanket Face’s antics. Can they defeat the ancient evil? Or will they too look like they ought to rub their faces with hot towels?

Blanket Face is due out in 2015. 

 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT MELISSA MCCARTHY

HOLLYWOOD – With new hit comedy Tammy in theaters, the Bridesmaids and The Heat actress Melissa McCarthy is once more kicking up a storm…. of laughter that is. But what do we really know about her?

The Studio Exec sent the FACT squad to find out.

1. When she was a child, a teacher once told Melissa McCarthy that she should stop clowning around and concentrate on her studies. We are delighted to report that that teacher committed suicide shortly after seeing Tammy

2. Melissa McCarthy’s grandfather is Senator Joe McCarthy, famed communist witch-hunter. Melissa – no friend to the followers of Comrade Marx – often warns co-stars about the dangers of the comintern and spends her Sundays writing detailed denunciations of what she sees as Un-American activities. 

3. Although Melissa McCarthy’s famous scene in Bridesmaids will go down in history as the funniest toilet joke in the history of gross out humor, her co-stars were not laughing as Melissa – ever keen on bringing what she calls ‘the Real’ to the screen, dosed them all with en-emetic medicines prior to the shoot.    

4. Melissa McCarthy is  well known for extracting tribute from her co-stars. Sandra Bullock got away with giving her a hunk of hair, but Jason Bateman lost a toe in what one insider described as ‘the most frightening wrap party I’ve ever been to’. 

5. As well as being a comedian, Melissa is also a keen burglar. With her husband Ben Falcone, she has broken into over one hundred residences and many say the crime wave of any given town goes up whenever a McCarthy film is shooting location nearby. 

For more FACTs Click HERE.

NASA SLAM GRAVITY: ‘NOT FILMED IN SPACE’

HOLLYWOOD – NASA have come out and slammed Alfonso Cuarón’s new film Gravity, saying that ‘it obviously was not filmed in space, as the director has repeatedly claimed.’ 

Professor Humbert Less gave a Powerpoint presentation which involved clips from the film to which he pointed with a long white stick to prove factual inaccuracies and what he called ‘give-aways that conclusively proved that some kind of special effects trickery was used.’   

Prof. Less further stated:

I find it highly unlikely that Mr. Clooney and Ms. Bullock ever went into orbit, Mr. Clooney certainly did not challenge anyone for a record space walk. As for the ‘story’ of the film, the exploding shuttle and the satellites must somehow have been made via models or a computer, because it just looked too dangerous and we would have noticed that amount of activity going on on our special scanners.

 Cuarón responded by saying that NASA:

Should shut its fat f*cking face. I did it in space. Clooney did it in space. So if you’re saying I didn’t you’re also calling my son a liar and George Clooney a liar. And Sandra Bullock from The Blind Side a liar! 

 Gravity is in theatres now.

GRAVITY: REVIEW

VENICE – Buzz Lightyear and that chick from Speed manage somehow to fall off Space.

I’m not sure how they’re doing it, but Alfonso Cuaron has made a 3D film that isn’t shit! It’s a roller-coaster ride, but imagine the roller-coaster was in space and then after a few minutes the roller-coaster started falling apart and exploding and being utterly wrecked and all that. And George Clooney is there to help us out but Miss Congeniality is nowhere near as good an astronaut and we’re flying and we’re drifting and we’re inside the helmet and we’re outside the helmet and it’s all one shot. There’s a bit of philosophical Contact/2001/Solaris guff about is there a God or not, but this film definitely answers NO, because Alfonso Cuaron makes films but once ever blue moon, while Gore Verbinski poops one out every year.