NEW AVATAR MOVIE TO BE RELEASED THE DAY AFTER YOU DIE

HOLLYWOOD – James Cameron announces the release date for Avatar 2 to be: the day after you die.

The sequel to blockbusting sci-fi epic Avatar finally gets a release date. James Cameron in an EXCLUSIVE interview with The Studio Exec talks Avatar sequels.

We’ve been working on Avatar non-stop since we wrapped on the first one. But the concepts are just so big. The entire world we want to create with Pandora is so ambitious. Sometimes I think that getting into this whole thing has been like opening a Pandora’s b… oh wait that’s good. I’ve never thought of that before.

So you have the release dates?

Yes, provisionally yes. We’re planning to release the films the day after you die.

What?

Absolutely. It’s a new release model. Experimental in its way but I think you’ll agree astonishing.

You’re so innovative.

I know.

So I’ll never see it because I’m dead. Is that it?

Yes. And that’s true for everybody.

One question.

Shoot.

Will Sam Worthington be in it?

Yes.

Okay. Then I’m good. 

Gotcha.

Avatar 2 will be released the day after you die.

JAMES CAMERON TO ABANDON CGI AND 3D FOR AVATAR SEQUELS

HOLLYWOOD – James Cameron has announced that he will be abandoning CGI and 3D for the Avatar sequels.

Terminator director James Cameron wowed fans earlier this week with the news that he is to write and direct 416 Avatar sequels, but today he also clarified that he would be making a break with the first film by abandoning CGI and 3D for the new movies.

James Cameron spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I want the new Avatar films to stand on their own and be different, not just a rerun of the original Avatar. I re-watched my director’s cut recently as a way of preparing for the new films and the one thing I took away was the CGI and 3D were just distracting. Half the time it looked like I was watching a cartoon. I want something more real and gritty for the new films. I’ve been watching the Dardennes brothers quite a lot.

But surely it will be impossible to recreate Pandora without using green screens?

Far from it. There’s some really good locations in Canada that at a snip can look very much like Pandora.

How will you deal logistically with making 416 films? Won’t you … how can I put this … die at some point?

I know what you mean. Yes, of course if I made 416 films even back to back I would probably be way too old towards the end. That’s why we’ve decided to film all 416 films concurrently. And Sam Worthington, despite being accidentally deleted two years ago, will be back and better than ever. Sam Worthington 2.0.

Avatar will be out every year for the next four hundred and sixteen years.

JAMES CAMERON ANNOUNCES 416 NEW AVATAR SEQUELS

HOLLYWOOD – James Cameron announces a grand total of 416 Avatar sequels to his 2009 classic Science Fiction adventure.

Speaking at Comicon on Thursday, James Cameron stunned fans by announcing that they would be returning to Pandora once more for 416 new Avatar sequels. Cameron told a slack-jawed audience:

I have so many stories to tell and they all require advanced CGI technology, 3D, insipid characters and patchy dialogue. There’s only one place that I can get all those things and that’s in Pandora.

Cameron denied basing his ideas on the recent success of the Marvel and Star Wars franchises:

Star what? No, I’ve never seen them. I’m not interested in following other people. I just want to make my own films and occasionally chug around in a little submarine. And before you ask, yes, it’s yellow.

Cameron also offered some detail:

The first film will be Avatar: Assemble and then I plan four hundred films, each one an ‘anthology’ film – my word – following an individual member of the tribe of the Av’i.

Isn’t it the Nav’i?

Seriously, who gives a fuck? The important thing is Sam Worthington has been rebooted and Zoe Saldana will return also.

Avatar 2-416 will be released in 2019.

PANDORA SHOOT IN DOUBT FOR AVATAR 2

HOLLYWOOD – Pandora is in crisis as James Cameron threatens to move Avatar 2 shoot to Canada.

Part of the reason James Cameron’s Avatar was so successful was its wonderful location, the planet of Pandora. However, escalating instability on the planet plus high shooting costs means that James Cameron and his crew may well not return to the planet for Avatar 2 but will instead but shooting the film in Canada.

An insider to the production told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Ideally we’d love to be on Pandora. The planet gives you so much. 360 degrees of lush vegetation, the colors, everything. But the fact of the matter is it has very little infrastructure, the logistics of simply getting there are a nightmare and then you have the pull of some very generous tax credits on the Canadian side.

Star Sam Worthington has said in the past that he was very close to Pandora and even accepted honorary citizenship there last year, which explained his absence from the world of filmmaking as the round journey takes two years. Worthington released a statement saying:

To my understanding the decision has not yet been finalized and I would hope that there is some solution which will see us shoot in Pandora which is a unique location. Not only is it wonderful for the film, but the Pandorans have a vibrant culture and a wonderful sense of humor. Those guys keep telling me they have this box they want to show me, but they never let me open it. It’s hilarious!

James Cameron was unavailable to comment as he is believed to be currently located in his underwater lair in the Marianas Trench.

Avatar 2 will be released in 2018.

SAM WORTHINGTON TO BE IN ANOTHER FILM

HOLLYWOOD – News hit the internet today that Sam Worthington was going to star in another film.

The film will have a title, a director and a script as well as other actors who will play alongside Sam Worthington. A producing partnership have already said how exciting the project is, despite the fact Sam Worthington is going to be in it.

An industry watcher spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the development:

This is going to be a very bad year. If rumors are true Orlando Bloom has been defrosted from carbonite and is being made supple in preparation for Pirates of the Caribbean 5. The news that Sam Worthington is also free and roaming the studio system is too much to believe. I remember the old days when directors and producers employed actors in films.

The Brit-born Australian actor Sam Worthington has appeared in Terminator Salvation, Drift and Man on a Ledge. Worthington has so far left no comment about his forthcoming film except to say that he was ‘delighted to be working’.

There had been fears/hopes that Worthington had been deleted by James Cameron following the filming of Avatar, but Worthington went on to appear in Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans but it is hoped that his new film won’t have the word “Titan” in the title.

Titan will be released in 2017.

JAMES CAMERON TALKS AVATAR SEQUELS

HOLLYWOOD – James Cameron has been talking exclusively to Studio Exec about his Avatar sequels due to start filming later this year and will – he confirmed – be filmed in 125 FPS ‘as a kind of fuck you to Peter Jackson’.

‘So the Avatar sequels?’ James Cameron leans back in his chair and says:
When we did the first film, I was really inspired by Kevin Costner’s work in Dances with Wolves. I remember seeing that film and thinking how much better it would have been if it had been in 3D, on another planet and most everyone had been blue. So when I sat down to start my script on A2 I figured let’s got to the well again.

So can you give us any details?

Well, let’s just say that we’re on Pandora again with Jake (played by Sam Worthington), but now he’s down on his luck. Neytiri (played by Zoe Saldana), on the other hand, has actually become a really famous pop star – they now have pop as part of their culture – anyways, she’s a famous pop star and ironically it turns out that Jake becomes her phantteeveezi or what we call a ‘bodyguard’.

Wow. That’s kind of similar to…

I know, I know. Isn’t it great? But everyone’ll be blue and it’ll be in 3D and on Pandora.

And there are rumours you’re prepping Avatar 3, is that true?

Yeah, we want to film them back to back for budgetary reasons. We haven’t completed the script but I already have a treatment for A3. I don’t want to give away any spoilers.

Okay but broadly?

Well, Jake’s a bit older. And he now works as a lawyer. When the Na’vi President J’ohn Fi’rld Knn’di is assassinated, Jake begins to suspect a conspiracy.

Don’t you worry Kevin Costner might sue you?

No, Kevin’s a sweet guy and dumb as a stump. Did you see Tin Cup? Sheez. 

Avatars will be released in 2017.

SAM WORTHINGTON DELETED

HOLLYWOOD – The film industry was in mourning today as news came in that ‘actor’ Sam Worthington had been deleted, when the memory stick he was stored on was accidentally/on  purpose snapped by Avatar director James Cameron.

Sam Worthington was initially written as company for S1mone the star of the eponymous 2002 Andrew Nichols film starring Al Pacino. When S1mone committed suicide a year later, James Cameron took custody of Worthington and a friendship began. Although Worthington was too artificial an intelligence to act convincingly with other humans, he was perfect in Avatar. However, as his star rose, he insisted on being treated like a real human being and even tried his hand at roles such as Perseus in the Clash of the Wrath of the Titans and A Man on a Ledge. Despite these brave attempts, Worthington never quite got the emotional depth required for playing human beings. 

Despite the fact that James Cameron has claimed to have purposefully destroyed Worthington (Click Here for that story), other sources told the Studio Exec that Cameron sat down when had the memory stick in his back pocket and broke it with his ass.

Avatar 2 will be out in 2017.  

REMAKE WATCH: JAMES CAMERON RAISES THE TITANIC

James Cameron – explorer, film maker and philosopher – has declared his intention to remake one of the dullest action films ever made Raise the Titanic. The original film was directed by Jerry Jameson and starred Richard Jordan as Dirk Pitts and Jason Robards as Admiral Old. ‘What attracted me to the original was the name Titanic and the fact I could use the excuse of the film to actually raise the actual Titanic,’ said the King of the World. ‘Actually.’

Wow, that’s amazing! When’s that going to happen?

Well, we wanted to but it turned out that it would actually be quite expensive, and there were some namby pamby stuff about there being dead people down there. But who cares right? I mean come on that was like two hundred years ago or something.

Who is going to star in it?

I don’t have anyone to star in it but Michelle Rodriguez and Sam Worthington are going to be in it.

And when is this going to happen?

I have a number of other projects in the pipeline so i won’t be expecting to do it any time soon. Perhaps April.

  

LITIGATION OF THE TITANS SET FOR JULY RELEASE

HOLLYWOOD  – Following the massive commercial and intellectual success of Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans which changed the conversation of the world and some say lead indirectly to the electoral victory of Barack Obama, a sequel to complete the trilogy was inevitable and so it has been said and so it will be so, with Litigation of the Titans set for a Summer release.

Director David Mamet says that the latest instalment sees hero Perseus played by ‘actor’ Sam Worthington, leaving Greek law school under Pericles (Bill Nighy) when his horse Pegasus is involved in an accident involving uptight Head of Faculty Draconian (Sam Neill).

‘This is a real change of direction,’ Homicide director, Mamet whispered. ‘We’ve had Krakens and Zeus and all sorts of nonsense, but I thought let’s go in a different direction, less mythology and more miffed-ology.’

Sam Worthington grinned, ‘It’s great because under David I don’t have to do any “acting” as such. I just say shit like objection, and side bar.’

But won’t there be less drama?

No, not at all. Because there really are some interesting by laws that have been infringed and the set piece about precedents is breath taking,especially in 3D.


Litigation of the Titans will be released in 2014.

LITIGATION OF THE TITANS SET FOR JULY RELEASE

Sam Worthington

HOLLYWOOD  – Following the massive commercial and intellectual success of Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans which changed the conversation of the world and some say lead indirectly to the electoral victory of Barack Obama, a sequel to complete the trilogy was inevitable and so it has been said and so it will be so, with Litigation of the Titans set for a Summer release.
Director David Mamet says that the latest instalment sees hero Perseus played by ‘actor’ Sam Worthington, leaving Greek law school under Pericles (Bill Nighy) when his horse Pegasus is involved in an accident involving uptight Head of Faculty Draconian (Sam Neill).

‘This is a real change of direction,’ Homicide director, Mamet whispered. ‘We’ve had Krakens and Zeus and all sorts of nonsense, but I thought let’s go in a different direction, less mythology and more miffed-ology.’

Sam Worthington grinned, ‘It’s great because under David I don’t have to do any “acting” as such. I just say shit like objection, and side bar.’

But won’t there be less drama?
No, not at all. Because there really are some interesting by laws that have been infringed and the set piece about precedents is breath taking,especially in 3D.

Litigation of the Titans will be released in 2014.