RUSSO BROTHERS NOT ACTUALLY BROTHERS

HOLLYWOOD – Directors of the Avengers: Infinity War Anthony and Joseph Russo are not actually brothers.

Hollywood reeled yesterday at the news that the Russo Brothers are not actually brothers. The revelation broke early this morning.

A source close to the ‘brothers’ said:

Anthony Russo’s name is actually Michael Palace and Joseph Russo is called Peter Blinks. They decided from an early age that they should work together as brothers when as a matter of fact they were not.

Joseph Russo popped by the Studio Exec bungalow to explain. He was crying.

We didn’t mean no harm. We just saw the Coen Brothers doing so well and then the Wachowski siblings and even the Duplass Brothers. We thought: why not be brothers? It was all going according to plan until some asshole at Vanity Fair wanted to interview our ‘mother’.

Anthony Russo chipped in:

It was a great idea and no one can say it wasn’t. But it doesn’t matter anymore. After this last Avengers film we’re done. We’re not going to do anymore films together.

Avengers Infinity War is on release.

POPULATION OF SWEDEN CAST IN AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR

HOLLYWOOD -The 9,593,421 population of Sweden were confirmed to all have roles in the upcoming Avengers movie, Avengers Civil War.

The entire Swedish population will join Paul Rudd, Martin Freeman, Daniel Bruhl, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Robert Downey Jr, Elizabeth Olsen, Scarlett Johansson, Chadwick Boseman, Frank Grillo, William Hurt and Don Cheadle in Avengers Civil War, the third movie in the sequence. The Russo brothers popped in to the Studio Exec bungalow to explain EXCLUSIVELY their thinking behind the move.

Anthony Russo: We want this movie to have a genuinely epic scale. Civil War! You know it gives you that feeling of size, of magnificent hugeness. In the past Avengers movies have concentrated on teams and cities, but now we’re into armies and nations. So Sweden seemed like the perfect choice. They speak really good English and we picked up some nice tax breaks.

But when you say cast, you mean extras, right? I mean nine million people here.

Joe Russo: Well, the positive thing is they come with their own infrastructure and a system of government. Ha ha! No, but seriously, we are talking about speaking roles here. Not just what we used to call Background Artists.

That’s crazy!

AR: Is it? Terrence Malick used the entire population of France to make To the Wonder.

No he didn’t.

JR: Did so! But in the end he cut most of them. To their immense relief, it has to be said, once they saw the movie.

Avengers: Civil War will be released in 2016.

AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON: REVIEW

AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON: REVIEW – The Avengers return in Joss Whedon’s slick screwball comedy.

Crash, Bang, Wallop – what a picture! There’s wit – fan service – action scenes and other stuff, but to be honest I’m getting a bit tired of Marvel and superhero pictures in general. There’s nothing wrong with the picture. Far from it. The gang are back together and fighting Hydra in some snowy mittel-European Ruritania, providing The Avengers with a nice ‘elsewhere’ setting in some exciting punch ’em up scenes: the hero shot comes early! And then we have a glowing blue doo-hah which must be protected because it’s so powerful. But Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) can’t help but fiddle with it in an attempt to create an artificial intelligence defense system which would effectively render the Avengers obsolete.  Oopsy-daisy! Ultron turns into a super villain intent on wiping out humanity.

Despite the clear intelligence of Whedon as a filmmaker, his actually characters are whoppingly stupid, none more so than the ‘genius’ Stark, who frankly gets off incredibly lightly for his potentially genocidal error. There’s some soap opera with the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson). Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Captain America (Chris Evans) grab some of the funniest lines, proving that occasionally it’s the straight men who can snatch the laughs when the self-knowing wit of RDJ grows wearisome. Elizabeth Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Paul Bettany are new heroes, the former seems to be spending this phase of her career tripping through rubble (see also Godzilla).

So it’s fun and all that. But I can’t say I care as much as perhaps I’m led to believe by score etc. that I should. I don’t care about Hulk and Black Widow. I’m unconvinced by the moral conundrums, when no one seems to want to take responsibility for their actions. Doctor Banner is supposed to be the conscience of the group but after he wreaks havoc through a city center his only solution seems to be to run away. And perhaps I’m weighed down by the prospect of another two Russo brothers directed movies: The Avengers: Infinity Wars Parts One and Two, but I’m beginning to suffer from a genuine fatigue with this sort of thing, regardless of its quality. It’s going to go the way of the Western. There are simply too many and no matter how good an individual film might be – and this is a stand out entry – there are only so many times you can watch a city destroyed, a blue doo-dah purloined, a bunch of costumed sociopaths ruminate on morality before you begin to think it might be time for the whole sub-fascist circus to be wrapped up and put away.

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