IS ROBOCOP 3 ACTUALLY BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL ROBOCOP?

HOLLYWOOD – We reconsider the legacy of Robocop 3 and the relative merits of the movie when compared to the original Paul Verhoeven movie.

In our ongoing series of short answers to long questions, postmodern clickbaiter Morgan Hamill-Hamill-Hamill poses the question: Is Robocop 3 actually a better film  – technically, aesthetically and politically – than the original Robocop? Continue reading “IS ROBOCOP 3 ACTUALLY BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL ROBOCOP?”

ROBOCOP POSSIBLE SOLUTION FOR FERGUSON

MISSOURI – In the light of recent events in Ferguson, Missouri, lawmakers have been looking to Hollywood for solutions to the on-going crisis, and in particular to the Paul Verhoeven classic Robocop.

Law enforcement expert Dave Whitaker told Studio Exec this morning:

Lawmakers are in a double squeeze: on the one hand they are dealing with demands across communities to get tough on crime, but on the other the individuals they charge with keeping that law and order, the police in other words, are themselves biased, unfair or plain incompetent. So this is where the technology that Paul Verhoeven developed for his film Robocop would really come in handy. And I know for a fact that several prototypes which the director used in the film have been dusted off and trucked down to Missouri late last night.

But surely that is only going to make a violent situation a lot more violent?

Yes. Possibly. But what you have to remove is the idea that people are being shot on account of something as illogical as racial prejudice. Robocop would just be shooting people indiscriminately, well not indiscriminately, but you know what I mean. Plus as a machine he would also be unaware of the emotional suffering he was causing. Not to mention how neat he looks. Talk about sleek.

We’re talking about the 1987 Robocop, right?

I was unaware of any other. Except of course for the rather underwhelming sequels.

But surely Verhoeven was satirizing a fascistic streak in American fantasies of an all powerful law enforcement officer.

Yes, absolutely.

So you’re advocating fascism, essentially.

A little.

The first Robocop is due to be deployed later this evening as a purely precautionary measure.

MY FAVORITE FILM: GEORGE ZIMMERMAN

HOLLYWOOD – Vigilante and film fan George Zimmerman chooses his favorite movie.

Robocop 2. Man that’s a great film. It’s like Robocop 1 but twice better.
Peter Weller is a hero of mine and when I grew up my bedroom was like a shrine dedicated to him. I had some posters of him in his Robocop costume but mostly he was just dressed in normal clothes. It was pretty hard to get hold of Peter Weller memorabilia so I decided to open the Peter Weller Fan Club to see if I could find some other people who liked him too and we could share stuff. That’s how I met my friend Osaka, a  42 year old Japanese woman who lived with her parents. She loved Peter almost as much as I do and she sent me some rare photographs of him. One was a nude photograph of her wearing a Peter Weller mask which was kinda cool. I used to carry it in my wallet but when I got married my wife said it was inappropriate.
 
I actually met Peter once. I had been waiting outside his house in my car for like, five days or something and I saw him walk up to his gate so I ran out to get his autograph. He looked a little shocked but I explained that I was the founder of his fan club and he was my hero. Anyway he signed some posters and I took a picture of him and me hugging. That picture has been copied and is now hanging in every room in my house. My wife doesn’t like it but she knows if it’s a choice between her and Peter, then I choose Peter.
 
Some say Robocop 1 is the best of the series and sure it’s good. But Peter was very uncomfortable in the original suit and the idea of him in pain makes me sad. In the sequel, his suit was made of fibre glass and he was much happier. 
 
Sometimes on my days off, I still park outside of his house and try and see him but he doesn’t go out much any more. I also try to call him three or four times a day but his number seems to be out of order. I hope he is all right. I think next week I’ll climb over his fence and knock on his door just to make sure he’s still alive. 
 
The fan club is still going but since Osaka died it’s just me and this old German guy who cannot write in English. He sent me a nude photograph of himself wearing a Peter Weller mask which was nice but I must admit I preferred Osaka’s. I really wish I had gotten to meet her. She was my very best friend in the whole world. 

One Star, * Peter.