SCRIPT LEAK: HOUSE OF CARDS FINAL SEASON

HOLLYWOOD – House of Cards final season has been confirmed, but they’ve had a script leak.

The final season of House of Cards is to go ahead, starring Robin Wright. The Studio Exec has received a leaked copy of the first episode.

INT. OVAL OFFICE. DAY.

Claire UNDERWOOD sits at the desk. Enter Doug STAMPER.

DOUG

Mrs Underwood.

CLAIRE

When is President Underwood due back from the totally normal trade talks he went to?

DOUG

Any minute now. Actually that sounds like him now.

SOUND of Helicopter ROTOR BLADES overhead.

EXT. ROSE GARDEN. DAY.

Claire and Doug go outside as the President’s helicopter comes in to land. The helicopter suddenly EXPLODES.

CLAIRE

Oh no. Francis’ helicopter just exploded, probably definitely killing him.

DOUG

There won’t be anything left of him.

CLAIRE

Not even a contractually obligatory Exec Producer credit.

They return into the Oval Office.

INT. OVAL OFFICE. DAY.

A young woman stands waiting for them.

CARRIE

Hello Madam President.

CLAIRE

Who are you?

CARRIE

I’m Carrie Mathison from Homeland. I’m here to begin a cat and mouse intrigue with sleeper agent Doug Stamper.

CLAIRE

Doug? I thought I was the sleeper agent.

CARRIE

Gotcha.

CLAIRE

Rats!

 

 

FINE

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ADAM SANDLER TO STAR IN SEASON 4 OF HOUSE OF CARDS

HOLLYWOOD – A hidden clause in his new Netflix deal means Adam Sandler is to replace Kevin Spacey in season 4 of the hit show ‘House of Cards’

Netflix boss Reed Hastings announced the deal very quickly and quietly at the end of his press conference, in the same super-speedy way car insurance adverts deliver the small print of the contract:

‘Oh yeah and Adam is going to be taking over for Kevin Spacey in House of Cards 4. We’re all thrilled,’ he said.

It is understood that Mr. Sandler has been a fan of Kevin Spacey for some time and has been heard many times to exclaim, ‘Why don’t people take me seriously as an actor?’

Mr. Sandler telephoned Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY to explain his motivation:

I am a fantastic actor when I get the right material, and ‘House of Cards’ contains some of the sharpest dramatic writing of recent years. I can’t wait to get my tongue around some of that snappy dialogue.

So this is what you really want to do?

Absolutely—all that other stuff, the film stuff, that was just my way in. A pretty Underwood way of doing things, I think you’ll agree.

Yes.

And because of my experience in comedy, especially with the film ‘Jack and Jill,’ I am a versatile enough performer to play not only the part of Frank Underwood, but also the part of his wife Claire, previously played by Robin Wright.

Fans of the show are dying by the thousands as they decide life is simply not worth living in light of the news, but Netflix has been quick to point out that rival HBO began the trend when they hired Vince f*cking Vaughn to star in ‘True Detective.’

House of Cards 4 will premiere in early 2016.

HOUSE OF CARDS 3: REVIEW

HOUSE OF CARDS 3: REVIEW – Frank Underwood is back and now he’s in the White House, but does the Netflix original series get our vote?

You campaign in poetry and you rule in prose, the hoary old cliché goes. The delight of seasons one and two of House of Cards was seeing the backroom boy, the wheeler dealer, Frank Underwood moving in the shadows. Bringing the post-modern Machiavelli into the klieg light of the presidency was always going to be a risk. There is a bold ambition to it, certainly, giving a harsh corrective to the soppy wish-fulfillment of The West Wing, but could the drama and can the character survive it? Rising to the challenge of the office?

Well, the answer is yes and no. But mainly no.

Okay what’s good about the season? Kevin Spacey has settled into the role like a comfortable pair of house slippers, but given that he doesn’t do much in the whole season, his conniving seems fairly low grade given the scandals of real presidents – wire tapping, adultery, illegal wars – he ends up performing a series of gestures to prove his badness – micturating on his father’s tomb, spitting in Jesus’ face etc. Robin Wright continues to be the best thing in the show and, as in season two, Claire gets most of the best scenes and drama. Her character changes while Francis remains much the same but in different places. And she provides an unexpected and genuinely interesting ending to the season.

So what’s bad about the season? Doug Stamper. I don’t care. You don’t care. We don’t care. I’m not even sure Doug Stamper cares. A cold unemotional hollow man is hard to root for at the best of times and Michael Kelly does his best, but he is so removed from the action and his behavior follows such clichéd lines, that the only benefit his subplot gave was the opportunity for a toilet break without having to press pause. Worse still was Paul Sparks as Thomas Yates. Again not the fault of the actor, but this is a TV exec’s idea of what a novelist looks like. And writes like. Good god, I’ve not heard purple prose like that since a saw the gallies of Prince’s autobiography. His very existence made no real sense, like almost all of Francis Underwood’s decisions.

But what about the politics? Surely being in the White House gave us more scope to get into the substantive side of the political debate? But somehow the adept politician of Seasons one and two was replaced by an incompetent who seemed constantly dumbstruck by the duplicity of … erm … politicians. Lars Mikkelsen as Putin Petrov provided Underwood with a great foil, but this rivalry was undermined by the fact that Underwood was consistently outwitted by the most junior of characters and more fatally by the audience. The joy of the first seasons was feeling you were never sure what Underwood was up to. Here, it looked more like he didn’t know what he was up to.

House of Cards is still a fascinating and beautiful show to watch. And a fourth season has potential given where we were left, but it really has to stop telling us how smart everyone is and start showing us.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

A MOST WANTED MAN: REVIEW

The director of The American films a book by the guy who did Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy starring the guy from Doubt and the gal from Mean Girls who isn’t Lindsay Lohan.

Philip Seymour Hoffman, in one of his last performances, plays Gunther a world weary secret operative who runs a small team of spooks in Hamburg, Germany, tasked with spotting Islamic terrorists before they can put together a plot similar to that hatched in the same city in 2001 and which brought down the World Trade Center. A young Chechen refugee Issa (Grigori Dobrygin)  enters the country illegally, seeking the help of an idealistic young lawyer Annabel (Rachel McAdams) and a dubious banker (Willem Dafoe) to access millions of Euros his Russian father has hid away. Gunther’s team stealthily circle their prey hoping that the Chechen might prove bait to an apparently moderate Islamic leader who might however be a front for terrorists. Gunther will have to contend not only with the terrorists but also with the hawkish elements of his law enforcement rivals and the smiling duplicitous presence of Robin Wright’s CIA operative, an observer  with all the strings held lightly in her hand.

Anton Corbjin’s film looks wonderful. He has a particular talent for placing his characters in startling settings and Hamburg becomes a character in itself with its 1960s architecture all modernist angles and concrete, blessed by the occasional park and laced with ancient sex shops and sea port dives. Hoffman looks perfect in the role and in the city. He shambles about smoking cigarettes as if they are his only form of nutrition and helping himself to generous servings of whisky. He is a man who refuses to look the world in the eye, except when he has to compel that world to do something potentially terrible. As with The Lives of Others, the spooks live half lives somewhere between shabby Olympic Gods and peeping Toms, although Hoffman is such a charismatic screen presence that we are as manipulated and compelled as his stooges are.

The film subsequently suffers whenever we are asked to care too much about Issa or Annabel and their feelings for each other. Rachel McAdams looks out of place, though that is also the function of her character and Issa scrubs up a little too well to be credible. That said A Most Wanted Man is a solid addition to the filmography of John LeCarré adaptations and another sad reminder of what we lost when Philip Seymour Hoffman took his final bow.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

HOUSE OF CARDS SEASON 3 TO BE RELEASED THIS WEEKEND

HOLLYWOOD – Following Netflix‘s release of the second season of the Kevin Spacey political drama House of Cards last week, exhausted marathoners will be delighted/distressed to learn that come Saturday Season 3 will be available for instant download. 

Spacey revealed that the idea of doing Season 3 had not originally occurred to him. 

We were waiting to see how people would react to Season 2. What we didn’t anticipate was how they would download all the episodes and marathon watch them over the weekend. By Monday, we realised most people had watched the Season and were ready for more. 

So Season 3 wasn’t actually ready?

No, we started writing the script on Tuesday. Wednesday we began filming that script while the writing team worked in shifts on the rest of the season, we filmed what they had when they had it. There are going to be some plot holes, but the important thing is content. But we realised by this point our audience will be as sleep deprived as we are.

House of Cards Season 3 will be available on Netflix Saturday.