BOURNE V BOND GREEN LIT

HOLLYWOOD – Following the success of Jason Bourne and Spectre, the world’s most famous secret agents and to appear in a new film provisionally entitled Bourne v Bond.

Matt Damon and Daniel Craig today announced in a joint press conference that filming is to begin this month on Bourne v Bond, the first mash-up of the Robert Ludlum and Ian Fleming characters, James Bond and Jason Bourne, since Quantum of Solace.

Matt Damon speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec had this to say:

Anybody watching Jason Bourne had to see that we’ve run out of steam. I mean the first Bourne film was good and then the second and the third were great but basically the same film done over and so what more is there that we can do? I was talking to Paul Greengrass and he asked what would happen if Bourne met Bond and that was the point where the lights seemed to come on.

Daniel Craig nodded, smiling:

We were at the same point. We watched Spectre and we thought, Wow! That looks really tired. It’s like we put all the fun stuff in the first ten minutes and then everything else was just m’eh! So when Matt and Paul called Sam and I were just knocked out. We met in a hotel the four of us and had a real story conference and what we came up with I think will be very exciting.

What did you come up with?

MD: In the broadest possible terms, it goes like this. Bond is sent after Bourne because British intelligence believe he is a threat to their national security, But it turns out Bourne has been framed by Spectre and Treadstone and Bond and Bourne must join forces.

So they’ll fight.

DC: Yes, they will. There’ll be real animosity there, but they realize at the last minute that both their mothers were called Martha.

MD: Isn’t that just…?

Amazing!

DC: Yes.

Bourne v Bond will be released in 2017.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

REAL LIFE JASON BOURNE SAYS MATT DAMON HAS FORGOTTEN HIM

COLORADO РThe real life secret agent that inspired Richard Ludlum to write the Jason Bourne books today slammed Matt Damon for forgetting him.

Fifty seven year old Jason Bourne from Fort Collins, Colorado today lashed out at Matt Damon for his deliberate amnesia towards his contribution to the character that has made Mr Damon a star.

When Richard asked if he could use me as a model I said yes. I was actually pleased for him to research the past which I could remember only with difficulty and then when Matt Damon was cast in the original film, The Bourne Identity, he came over to see me and spent a day trying to get my walk right. It was difficult because my walk is actually quite strange.

Things changed however with the success of the franchise.

Jeremy Renner didn’t even write me an email and Matt Damon, I’ve not seen at all this time round. One phone call. One. And that was just to tell me to stop sending the parcels of food. It ain’t as if I want to go on the red carpet or get paid a lot of money. I just want my contribution to be recognized.

However, filmmaker Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon have both issued statements that Jason Bourne simply has the same name as the fictional agent and the 57 year old postal worker should cease harassing the production.

Jason Bourne will be released next week.