TERRY GILLIAM ACCIDENTALLY DELETES THE MAN WHO KILLED DON QUIXOTE

LONDON – Terry Gilliam today admitted that he had accidentally deleted his new film The Man Who Killed Don Quixote.

Terry Gilliam took 17 years to complete his new film The Man Who Killed Don Quixote. Having only yesterday announced to excited fans that he had finished the film, he returned to Facebook today with a heartbreaking message, entitled ‘I should have made a backup copy’:

So I had the film wrapped, everything shot, and as with all movies these days it was all digital. I had it on a portable hard drive but when I unplugged it from the computer I forgot to click on that ‘safely remove hardware thing’ and apparently it formatted the whole disc. Erasing the movie. I know what you’re thinking. Why didn’t you make a backup? and I can only say, I don’t know. But don’t worry fans, I’ll be making it again next year and every year for the rest of my life.

The film had gone through a number of versions with different casts, including a version with Robert Duvall and Ewan MacGregor and one with Jean Rochefort and Johnny Depp. The most recent iteration starred Jonathan Pryce and Adam Driver.

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote will begin filming again in 2018.

THE JUDGE: REVIEW

Tony Stark – a hot-shot immoral defense lawyer – returns to Indiana for his mother’s funeral and meets up with his Days of Thunder consigliere father Col. Kilgore, a cantankerous judge who soon finds himself on the wrong side of the law.

Will his estranged son defend him? Will their relationship be restored? Will they perhaps go fishing the way Tony Stark wants to? This is like August: Osage County meets that Hannah Montana movie where the big city gal rediscovers the joy of homeliness – and spices it up with some illicit ‘urban’ beats. Good Christ but it’s wretched. And Tony Stark is appalling. Everything in the movie services him. An encounter with some barroom thugs, sweet talking his old school girlfriend, the yokel lawyer’s incompetence are all staged to allow Downey a moment of verbal dexterity and a series of twitchy, ironic, winky and eminently punchable reaction shots. (Sidebar: his father has been a judge in these parts for forty years, is a pillar of the community and he doesn’t know a lawyer better than a part-time puker?) He even has a ‘Holy Fool’ brother who walks around with a camera all the time, allowing Downey to be patient and loving with him in contrast to his older sibling and thereby winning more audience points.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I contend that Iron Man did not kill Robert Downey Jr. Nor Sherlock Holmes who is basically Iron Man in a fusty accent and a frock coat. Downey Jr – the actor – died the moment he discovered that he could get away with being likeable. His likeability means there’s no real edge to his smarmy bastard act. Everyone in the film keeps telling him what he’s like – ‘You really are a bastard’, ‘You hate bullies, but you are one’ etc. – because his performance doesn’t do it. Look at Paul Newman in The Verdict. Now there’s a Hollywood star who was unafraid of playing moral corruption like it meant something. And likewise earning the redemption rather than it just being a predictable plot point you can spot from the Warner Bros logo.

Objection! Robert Duvall is excellent.

Sustained. But he’s been an excellent character actor from Boo Radley on. That’s a given. It’s the film that stands accused, letting him down and Billy Bob Thornton and Vera Farmiga and Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket, and it must also answer for its obnoxiously wrong tone, switching from mawkish sentimentality to folksy comedy in a way I’d call cynical, but cynicism implies some facility. The small town America it shows is the kind Hollywood excels at. Driving into town, Downey Jr spots a boy and his father loading fishing supplies onto their pick up. ‘Nothing changes,’ he hisses venomously, before getting all snarky about someone waving at him. I bet the Wi-Fi reception isn’t up to snuff either.

So I find The Judge guilty. Guilty of wasting talent. Three counts of using a folksy acoustic soundtrack, like an old Jack Daniels advert. Guilty of pretending to be the proper Oscar worthy movie for me that justifies the cash grab of Iron Man. And most guilty – and this is truly unforgivable – of a scene in which the main character recaptures his youth by riding a bicycle no-handed wearing a faded Metallica t-shirt.

Take them away.

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GOLF: THE MOTION PICTURE, A PREVIEW



HOLLYWOOD – Kevin Costner‘s epic movie Golf: The Motion Picture is due out in February, 2013 and Studio Exec have been given an exclusive access to his six hour long labor of love.
Starring Costner, Robert Duvall and Danny Glover, Golf tells the story of the Greenridge Golf Club, during an ordinary day. ‘Golf has become very popular with super stars like Tiger Woods bringing many new fans to the sport,’ The Postman star said. ‘But in a way I think it has become too exciting with competitions like The US Masters and the Ryder Cup giving entirely the wrong impression. Golf is generally much slower and boring. My film tries to reflect that’

The film looks beautiful, with a stirring score by Philip Glass. It hasn’t a story as such. Greens man and part time player, Joe Buckle (Costner) cuts the grass and worries about mole hills. Bill (Duvall) and Jeff (Glover) slowly and ineptly complete their usual 18 holes.  The pace is as pedestrian as they are. Costner said:

We want the reality of golf to be seen on the screen. Anyone expecting the high octane excitement of Wyatt Earp or the frenetic story telling of Open Range are going to be disappointed. This is going to be long and involves a thirty minute scene of Jeff and Bill looking for a ball in the rough.

‘It’s like Caddyshack without the jokes,’ said Glover. ‘Actually it’s like Caddyshack.’

Golf: the Motion Picture is out February 23rd, 2013.

JACK REACHER TRAILER REVEALS SURPRISING PLOT DETAILS

You, yes I’m going to kill you!

The new Jack Reacher trailer released earlier this week, revealed a kick ass action thriller with a mean looking Tom Cruise being pithy and aggressive with a surprising cameo from Werner Herzog as a lisping Austrian accented villain, possibly a first in a Hollywood film. Less noted however was an entire sub-plot that is teased.

Robert Duvall appears briefly with the line “You’re a little rusty, Reacher.” Rusty Reacher was the stunt coordinator on Days of Thunder in which both Duvall and Tom Cruise appeared in 1990. To add to specualtion that Jack Reacher is actually an unofficial sequel to Days of Thunder, it has also been pointed out that Jack Reacher has the same number of letters as Cole Treacle, (the character he played in Days of Thunder) and both characters seem to be able to drive cars and use telephones.


Writer and director of Jack Reacher, Christopher McQuarrie said the theories were “Nonsense.”, and “Horse apples.”, a distraction from his over arching artistic plan. “Reacher completes the trilogy that began with The Way of the Gun and continued with The Tourist. It’s like Wagner’s Ring cycle. By which I mean to say it is that good and that culturally significant.”

Mr McQuarrie was recently listed on Variety’s list of the top 25 Hollywood super powers who most deserve a slap.