5 FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AVENGERS: ENDGAME

HOLLYWOOD – Avengers: Endgame is almost upon us so what do you need to know?

As tickets for Avengers: Endgame go on sale, here are five FACTS for you to MARVEL at.

1 Iron Man will be played by Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr will play Captain America, because they are bored.

2 The Hulk will get angry at a decisive moment.

3 Stan Lee’s body will make a cameo – Weekend at Bernie’s style.

4 Captain Marvel will be amazing. The ending won’t be anywhere near as good as the ending of Infinity War. Many of the surprises you already know, so they’ll kill off someone unexpectedly/expectedly in the first five minutes so you’ll lose your shit.

5 You’ll be humming the score for a couple of seconds and then completely forget it.

For more FACTS click HERE.

GUY RITCHIE DETERMINED TO DESTROY ALL BRITISH ICONS WITH NEW BIGGLES MOVIE

LONDON – Robin Hood, King Arthur, Sherlock Holmes and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels director, Guy Ritchie will direct the forthcoming movie version of the First World War flying ace, Biggles.

The Captain W.E. Johns created hero Biggles has been a young boy’s fantasy figure for years, though he has recently fallen out of favor with the rise superhero movies and toy franchises. Ritchie spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec on condition we did not refer to his former marriage to Madonna. Madonna first came to prominence in the early Eighties with a series of pop hits produced by her then partner Jellybean. After a stormy relationship with Sean Penn, she went on to release a series of albums which were both commercially and critically successful. Her relationship with Guy Ritchie culminated in the motion picture Swept Away, which subsequently was. Speaking about Biggles, Ritchie (neé Madonna) had this to say:

James ‘Biggles’ Bigglesworth is by far the most interesting British hero since Sherlock Holmes and James Bond and yet because of certain old fashioned attitudes he has been unfairly maligned and has all but disappeared from libraries and schools. I hope my film Biggles and the Darkie Menace will make people rethink.

Robert Downey Jr. is said to be interested in the role, because it will continue his recent run of films in which ‘I don’t really have to act or anything.’ Ritchie said that he hopes Downey Jr. will take the part:

Me and Robert have a true understanding having worked together on two pictures. He is one of the most instinctive actors I know. He seems to do no preparation whatsoever. Almost as if he is just ‘dialing in a performance’ as we used to say down London way. Of course, behind that air of casual laziness, I can assure you lie literally minutes of hard work.

Ritchie will hope to reproduce the massive success of Biggles: Adventures in Time, a 1986 film that everyone has largely forgotten.

Biggles and the Darkie Menace will be released in 2020.

GUY RITCHIE CONFIRMS BIGGLES

LONDON – Guy Ritchie continues ruining all British heroes with Biggles film.

King Arthur, Sherlock Holmes, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Robin Hood director, Guy Ritchie will direct the forthcoming movie version of the First World War flying ace, Biggles.

The Captain W.E. Johns created hero Biggles has been a young boy’s fantasy figure for years, though he has recently fallen out of favor with the rise superhero movies and toy franchises. Ritchie spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec on condition we did not refer to his former marriage to Madonna. Madonna first came to prominence in the early Eighties with a series of pop hits produced by her then partner Jellybean. After a stormy relationship with Sean Penn, she went on to release a series of albums which were both commercially and critically successful. Her relationship with Guy Ritchie culminated in the motion picture Swept Away, which subsequently was. Speaking about Biggles, Ritchie (neé Madonna) had this to say:

James ‘Biggles’ Bigglesworth is by far the most interesting British hero since Sherlock Holmes and James Bond and yet because of certain old fashioned attitudes he has been unfairly maligned and has all but disappeared from libraries and schools. I hope my film Biggles and the Darkie Menace will make people rethink.

Robert Downey Jr. is said to be interested in the role, because it will continue his recent run of films in which ‘I don’t really have to act or anything.’ Ritchie said that he hopes Downey Jr. will take the part:

Me and Robert have a true understanding having worked together on two pictures. He is one of the most instinctive actors I know. He seems to do no preparation whatsoever. Almost as if he is just ‘dialing in a performance’ as we used to say down London way. Of course, behind that air of casual laziness, I can assure you lie literally minutes of hard work.

Ritchie will hope to reproduce the massive success of Biggles: Adventures in Time, a 1986 film that everyone has largely forgotten.

Biggles and the Darkie Menace will be released in 2019.

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR: SPOILER FREE REVIEW

HOLLYWOOD – Avengers: Infinity War is here.

And so here is our SPOILER FREE review. 100% SPOILER FREE. Go Ahead and read on. Because there are no SPOILERS. If you want SPOILERS go elsewhere because you ain’t getting them here buddy.

Continue reading “AVENGERS INFINITY WAR: SPOILER FREE REVIEW”

ROBERT DOWNEY JR GETS A JOB AS A LIBRARIAN

HOLLYWOOD – Chaplin and Iron man star Robert Downey Jr today retired from acting and got a job as a librarian.

Robert Downey Jr retired as an actor after a series of hits, in order to concentrate on his work as a librarian.

The Less Than Zero star spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about the change in direction:

I’ve always loved libraries. I like the atmosphere and the smell of books and old carpet. When I was a child I’d go tot he library and just hang out. Even as I began to work in films, I’d always find time to visit the local library wherever we were shooting. Sometimes the librarian would let me stamp out a couple of books and I tell you, I was hooked.

What appeals to you about library work?

The promotion of education, encouraging the love of reading, giving homeless people a warm place to sleep in the afternoon. All these things are important to me. But most of all I love shushing people. To give a correctly loud and sharp shhhh! has to be the most satisfying thing in the world. I’ve worked with some of the best directors in the world; the most talented actors and actresses, but nothing compared to shushing a teenager and seeing the respect and fear in their eyes. Iron Man is nothing to Librari Man!

Robert Downey Jr. will be appearing in the New York Public Library in 2018.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR’S DOG TALKS DOCTOR DOOLITTLE

HOLLYWOOD – We talk to Robert Downey Jr’s dog about preparations for his new film The Voyage of Doctor Doolittle.

Iron Man star Robert Downey Jr is to play Doctor Doolittle in a new film The Voyage of Doctor Doolittle. This came as no surprise to Bangs, Downey Jr’s ten-year-old sheep dog. Bangs sat down to talk EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

Robert’s excited about the new film. He could talk about nothing else. I remember when Eddie Murphy played the role, the animal community was horrified. You see Murphy played Donkey in Shrek as well and we saw that as taking a job from a real donkey. It isn’t like donkeys have much opportunity to work and for a human actor to take a role like that, well for us it’s as bad as black face.

How is Robert’s Bark?

Oh, it’s worse than his bite. Ha ha ha. No just a little sheep dog humor there. No, it’s good. And he’s fluent in cat, though that is mainly facial expression and inscrutable stares. Goldfish he’s got down but that’s such a small vocabulary. He’s going to have to pick up some of the more exotic languages. Giraffe, lion, elephant, cobra, llama, rhinoceros and hippopotamus. Russell Crowe came over last night and was teaching him the basics of kangaroo.

That sounds great. You must have been jumping for joy. 

That’s just racist. What the fuck is wrong with you man?

I’m sorry I just meant…

I know exactly what you meant. You fucking humans are all the same. You finally start speaking to us and all you can do is make lame jokes and trade in reductive stereotypes. Man, Caesar is right about you assholes!

Who’s Caesar?

I don’t need to tell you nothing. Wait until Robert hears about this. He’s going to be madder than a motherfucker. No respect. You got no respect.

Fetch!

Wait, where’d it go? Where’d it go?

The Voyage of Doctor Doolittle will be released in 2018.

WILL FERRELL AND JOHN C REILLY REMAKE WITHOUT A CLUE

HOLLYWOOD – Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly re-team to remake 1988 Sherlock Holmes comedy Without a Clue.

John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell are back again after their successful comic partnering in Step Brothers and Talladega Nights. The occasion is a remake of Ben Kingsley and Michael Caine comedy Without a Clue.

Ferrell told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We’re going to call it Holmes & Watson but it’s effectively Without a Clue 2.

What was your inspiration for taking on the world’s most famous detective?

Mostly the fact it hasn’t been done. Oh, yes you can go back to the old Basil Rathbone films but since then nothing.

What about the BBC TV show Sherlock? And Elementary?

Yes, but that’s TV.

And the Guy Ritchie film Sherlock Holmes?

Was that actually based on Sherlock Holmes. I thought it was an Iron Man prequel. The point is none of them have used humor.

But…

And so we’re going to be a completely original remake of Without a Clue.

Holmes & Watson will be released in 2017.

NIC PIZZOLATTO AND ROBERT DOWNEY JR TEAM UP FOR WEDGER

HOLLYWOOD – It was the most successful role of Robert Downey Jr’s career and now True Detective scribe Nic Pizzolatto has joined the team to make Wedger better than ever.

Two years ago Wedger broke records and became the apotheosis of water cooler TV, but star Robert Downey Jr decided to take a break and there were rumors that he would never return to the role:

I did Wedger. I gave it my all, my best, and it almost killed me. I didn’t start drinking again or anything like that, but GodI found myself driving past Woody Harrelson’s house late atnic pizzolatto night, when it wasn’t on my way home.

However, it seems like fans are going to get their wishes granted and a second season of Wedger has been announced. It will be written by True Detective Season 1 genius and True Detective Season 2 schmuck Nic Pizzolatto.

I’ve always admired Wedger. There was so much Wedger in True Detective, perhaps too much at times.

Fans of Wedger have expressed mixed feelings at the news. Hammersmith Ione, head of the internet pressure group the Wedgies, told the Studio Exec:

On the one hand we want more Wedge, on the other Nic Pizzolatto? I’m not sure I’d let him organize a wedding video after that Colin Farrell steam he pulled last time.

To read the recaps of all the episodes of the first season of Wedger, Click Here.

TONY STARK PREQUEL BRINGS OUT HIS LIGHTER SIDE

HOLLYWOOD – The Tony Stark  prequel will focus on the creation of his comedy persona.

The new prequel to cover the early years of Tony Stark is going to emphasize his comic persona.

Robert Downey Jr today spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec:

We like the idea that Tony is always funny. He does quips and one liners and is an all round smart ass. But we wanted to see the origins of that and so we made this film and I think people will be surprised about the way it works. The fact of the matter Tony Stark was a Charlie Chaplin impersonator and so I used all the experience I had playing Charlie Chaplin to bring this out to the fore. We see his frustration with slapstick and his development into a moral verbal comedian.

But surely he’s more interesting as a sort of inventor?

There’s a bit of that but it’s mostly pouring a jug of fresh cream down at fat man’s trousers and tripping over walking sticks. We also have some other Avengers doing cameo roles. Captain America and Tony Stark have to dress up as women when they accidentally enroll in an all female school. It’s hilarious.

Tony Stark: The Vaudville Years will be released in 2017.

CAPTAIN AMERICA R-RATED DIRECTOR’S CUT FEATURES BUCKY SEX SCENE

HOLLYWOOD – Following the success of Captain America: Civil War, Marvel are to release the Russo brothers’ extended cut in a special R rated edition which will feature the much rumored Captain America / Bucky sex scene.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, a Marvel insider spilled the beans on the steamiest Marvel movie ever.

There was always a scene in the script. It’s in the original Mark Millar comic book. It was filmed and right until the last minute it was in the final cut, but there was an emergency meeting and cold feet prevailed. However, if you watch the movie as it stands now in theaters, you can tell that there is a missing sex scene between Captain America and Bucky. Otherwise the whole film doesn’t really make sense.

But it will appear in the director’s cut?

Yes, the film is very long as it stands and so there were questions of length as well as rating and the kind of audience we were hoping to pull. But the Russo Brothers were committed to the scene and Chris Evans was a partisan for it as well. Robert Downey Jr thought that it was obvious and the tension worked better when you didn’t have an on screen consummation. Evans and Downey got into a bit of a scrap, ironically mirroring the action of the movie.

Captain America: Civil War: The Director’s Cut will be released in June.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR – SPOILER FREE REVIEW

HOLLYWOOD – As Marvel’s new movie Captain America: Civil War hits the screens, the Studio Exec gives his trademark SPOILER FREE review.

One of the most eagerly waited films of the year, Captain America: Civil War has finally arrived but is it any good? Read our EXCLUSIVE SPOILER FREE review.

Either Captain America wins, or Iron Man wins, or they both discover that their mothers had the same name.

For more Reviews, Click Here.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR ‘HISTORICALLY INACCURATE’

HOLLYWOOD – The next big Marvel movie – Captain America: Civil War – is ‘historically inaccurate’ claims academic.

Captain America: Civil War might be creating a lot of positive buzz from early screenings, but Professor Aloysius Halton was not impressed by the film’s rendering of a historical period of which he is an acknowledged expert:

The fact of the matter is the American Civil War began on April 12, 1861 and ended on May 9, 1865. In that period the North and the South battled for supremacy, with fortunes swinging first one way then the next. This new film contains so many historical inaccuracies that it is difficult to know where to begin.

But Professor…?

To begin with the technology on display here is totally anachronistic. Not only are there cars and airplanes and computers – none of which existed in the mid-nineteenth century, but there’s even an Iron Man, who flies around on jet engines! Ludicrous.

But surely…?

And the principal participants of the Civil War were not an outlandish figure called Captain America or Iron Man. It was Abraham Lincoln and Jefferson Davis. Generals Lee and Ulysses Grant are entirely absent from this retelling and although there is a character called Black Panther, there is hardly ever note taken of the role of slavery, even though that issue was the central Casus Belli. F minus.

Captain America: Civil War is due out later this month.

5 FACTS WE LEARNED ABOUT CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

HOLLYWOOD – The new trailer to Captain America: Civil War dropped and with it the first sight of Tom Holland’s Spider-Man, but what did we really learn.

The Studio Exec FACT Squad is currently being ripped asunder (which is not good) by a civil war about which side to support on Captain America: Civil War, so we sent both halves of the warring squad into battle to find out five FACTS about the new film from watching the trailer once on a phone with a poor Wi-Fi connection.

1. It is historically inaccurate. Although the characters wear ‘costumes’ they are not correct to the period from 1861-1865 in which the Civil War took place.

2. Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Emily VanCamp, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner,Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Frank Grillo, Tom Holland, William Hurt, and Daniel Brühl are in it

3. Tony Stark loves Captain America’s perfect teeth but there’s an edge there.

4. New York, Washington and Skikky-lovia have been destroyed. Everyone looks serious, including William Hurt who is playing Michael Douglas, Robert Redford and Jeff Bridges.

5. Black Panther isn’t actually a panther. And Spider-Man isn’t actually a Spider.

For more FACTS click HERE.

DOWNEY JR. AND CUMBERBATCH IN SHERLOCK XMAS SPECIAL

LONDON – Robert Downey Jr and Benedict Cumberbatch will co-star in a Xmas Special edition of Sherlock for the BBC, written by Steven Moffat and directed by Guy Ritchie.

Writer Moffat told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about the idea of getting Cumberbatch and Downey Jr together:

We’re absolutely stoked about this opportunity. Benedict Cumberbatch and Robert Downey Jr. have given audiences an amazing pair of Sherlocks, entirely different, but entirely convincing and to see them together in an adventure is almost too exciting for words. My cerebral and witty script will be complemented by Mr. Guy Ritchie’s high octane, and slightly nonsensical action direction.

How will you explain the presence of two Sherlocks in the same world?

That’s relatively easy. It’s no secret that I also have had a hand in the new Doctor Who. Well, I’ve decided to move both the Sherlocks into the Doctor Who universe. In fact, there is a reveal that explains how it is that Sherlocks are so clever. What I’m saying is what if the Sherlocks actually had access to a machine that allowed them to travel in time and were also able to regenerate.

Sherlock Holmes is a Time Lord?

Not only a Time Lord. Why not THE Time Lord?

Doctor Sherlock Holmes will be broadcast on Christmas Day.