RIDLEY SCOTT RULES OUT THELMA AND LOUISE 2

HOLLYWOOD – He might be gumming up the Alien universe with his Prometheus films and he might be up for Blade Runner 2, but Ridley Scott is absolutely adamant there will not be a sequel to his 1991 girls on the run movie Thelma and Louise.

The White Squall director seemed surprised at the question. ‘No, I don’t have any plans to revisit that story,’ he told the Danish bacon monthly, Swine. ‘I think the ending that we shot was pretty … well … conclusive.’
However Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon both have expressed a wish to return to the characters. Sarandon told the New York Frisbee:

I don’t see why not. We’ve had prequels before and I think knowing what happens to there characters would add a tragic luster to the film and also. Obviously I would be more than happy to Louise once more.

Davis however seemed to be suggesting a slightly different approach. 

Okay what we see at the end seems fairly clear. The car… okay? But we never see it actually land and so there are a number of possible options. I’m thinking it could have got caught in a bush, or it could reach the other side. Or maybe they had parachutes. Shucks! With digital technology you can do anything these days.

Callie Khouri – the original screenwriter – has already written several drafts for a possible sequel and brushes off Scott’s apparent reluctance: ‘When Ridley reads what I’ve done – sending Thelma off to space as a kind of Jesus alien figure – I’m sure he’ll come round.’

However, the project, if it ever happens, will certainly have to wait as Ridley Scott already has a full dance card, what with the new Prometheus film, Blade Runner 2 as well Somebody to Watch Over Me 2 and 1493 all slated for production in the next two years. 

Thelma and Louise 2 might still be released in 2015.  

    

PATTON OSWALT TO WRITE TWITTER MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Patton Oswalt has been confirmed as the writer of the much talked about Twitter movie. David Fincher will direct and Simon Pegg and Ashton Kutcher are already confirmed as protagonists the Twit twins. 

The inveterate tweeterer wrote a letter in longhand (!) to express his pleasure:

I first heard about the Twitter movie when Ridley Scott was on board and Russell Crowe was attached and I thought, ‘That’s going to be rubbish. I mean seriously? A film about Twitter? Rubbish.’ But then Ridley Scott left the project to concentrate on Monopoly and Russell Crowe was replaced by Simon Pegg and Asthon Kutcher, and David Fincher came in and he contacted me and offered me a lot of money, I thought, ‘A movie about Twitter that’s a fantastic idea!’

The casting is already under way with Pegg and Kutcher joined by Jack Black who be playing the villainous whale who the little birds have to carry around whenever Twitter isn’t working. However, there will be a lot more casting news as Patton Oswalt has promised that Twitter: the Movie will include 140 characters, no less.

Twitter: the Movie will be released in 2015.  

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT HARRISON FORD

HOLLYWOOD – You might think you know everything about Harrison Ford, the man who brought us Han Solo, Indiana Jones and Rick Deckard. But you SO don’t.

Let the Studio Exec reveal so many squirming facts that Harrison would probably say “Facts, why did it have to be facts?”

1. Harrison Ford actually did make the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs in preparation for filming Star Wars in 1976. What people generally don’t know is that the Kessel run is really short and the record is actually 3 parsecs.  

2. Harrison Ford is from Norwegian stock and his family name before it was Americanized was Harrison Fjord.  

3. Harrison Ford is actually a Carpenter by trade. He played bass on Close to You and Yesterday Once More, but left the group to concentrate on his acting. George Lucas misunderstood Harrison’s CV and got him to make a set of bookshelves, which the actor gamely tried to do, inadequately as it would happen, leading to George Lucas’ famously witty riposte: “I hope he’s better at acting than he is at you know making some bookshelves, cause these shelves are terrible and what we need in the film is someone who can act, better than the person who made these shelves can makes shelves. Anyway.”  

4. Steven Spielberg wouldn’t let Harrison Ford keep the Indiana Jones whip because it was ‘dangerous and he could take someone’s eye out with it’ even though Harrison promised to just look at it and never use it. 

5. Although Blade Runner is largely seen to be his best performance, Harrison Ford does not rate the film and argues that Force Ten from Navarone, Firewall and Cowboys and Aliens are all superior. This antipathy towards the film could have something to do with the animosity between Ridley Scott and Harrison Ford. During the ‘making of…’ documentary Dangerous Days, the two won’t even look at each other. 

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE!  

RIDLEY SCOTT AND DAFT PUNK TO RELEASE ‘COMMENTARY ALBUM’













PARIS – French pop duo Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter best known to the world by their moniker Daft Punk have announced they are to release an album in collaboration with Prometheus and Blade Runner director Ridley Scott.
It’s the Director’s Job to Say Shut the Fuck Up will feature excerpts from a whole swathe of the director’s commentaries to such films as Gladiator, Robin Hood, Blade Runner, Alien and The Duellists some of which have been deemed as more entertaining – as in the case of The Matchstick Men and Prometheus – than the actual films themselves.
Tracks will include ‘Get on with it scientists’ from Prometheus, ‘That Looks Bloody Marvellous’ from Blade Runner and ‘What do Historians know’ from Gladiator. In a statement released by the group, Daft Punk stated:

We have been huge fans of Ridley’s work for years and especially his commentaries. It is his emphatic self-satisfaction and his hilarious dismissal of criticism or indeed collaboration which makes him so fascinating to listen to. All we added were the off-cuttings from Tron Legacy.

Ridley Scott himself claimed to be instrumental in the process:

They said ‘you can’t play on the album’. I said ‘why?’ They said ‘well first off you can’t play any instruments, you have no musical training and you’re tone deaf.’ I said ‘bollocks.’ I went away for the weekend to me mate Han Zimmer’s house and when I came back I had the whole album in my head. I just whistled it to them and they basically wrote it out as notes. There was some discussion as to whether they really deserved a credit, but I said, ‘M’eh, give it them.’  

It’s the Director’s Job to Say Shut the Fuck Up will be available on iTunes and from all good stores from September. 

NICK CAVE’S GLADIATOR 2 SCRIPT LEAKED

SYDNEY – Everyone was eagerly awaiting cheery Australian songster and Lawless scriptwriter Nick Cave’s sequel to Gladiator – tentatively entitled Gladiator 2 – but Ridley Scott decided to do Prometheus instead.

However, the Studio Exec has managed to get his hands on the Gladiator 2 script. 

1. The Colosseum. We begin where the first film ended. The EMPRESS finishes her oration and lowers her arms. The Crowd is hushed. MAXIMUS and COMMODUS lie on the ground dead.

EMPRESS

Who will lift this man and carry him to his final resting place?

Senator GRACCHUS comes forward and with the help of the other Gladiators, they lift the body of MAXIMUS. The crowd watches in silence. Petals drift in the the sand. COMMODUS’ body is forgotten where it lies. Stirring music as the funeral procession heads for the gates. 

MAXIMUS
(Sitting Up) 

Wait! I’m not dead.

GRACCHUS

What’s this?

EMPRESS

A miracle! Thank the Gods. Oh happy day!

MAXIMUS is helped to his feet. The crowd cheers.

GRACCHUS

But Commodus stabbed you through the heart with his red right hand.

MAXIMUS

I know I thought I was going from her (points to EMPRESS) to eternity, but this deflected the blow.

MAXIMUS loosens his breast plate and the steel guitar is revealed which deflected the blow. 

EMPRESS

T’is stranger than kindness. Quick let him have a (oh mercy) seat.

CROWD

Give us a song!

MAXIMUS

Well, I’m a little rusty (strumming guitar: Starts singing). This is a weeping song – Come on everybody.

CROWD

(Singing)A song in which to weep!  

 

FIN
 
Gladiator 2 will be released in 2015.

RIDLEY SCOTT ABANDONS IMPROV FOR PROMETHEUS SEQUEL


HOLLYWOOD – Ridley Scott has declared that he will not be using improvisation for the Prometheus sequel, breaking with a tradition established since the very beginning of his career. 

‘I’ve hired writers,’ said the White Squall director. ‘I know a lot of purists are going to be mad at me but after what happened last time it just occurred to me it’d be better if someone wrote everything down BEFORE we started filming.’

The UK born director has been famous in Hollywood for his radical improvisation techniques. Harrison Ford had a huge falling out with Scott on the set of Blade Runner, as he explained in his autobiography Just A Carpenter Like Jesus:

fed up

I turned up on the first day of filming and we all stood in a circle. We had no script, no story, no idea. Then Ridley just went round the circle, pointing at each of us in turn and saying ‘You’re a robot, you’re not, robot, robot, not a robot.’ It wouldn’t be so bad but with me he couldn’t decide. And then he said ‘go!’ Me and Sean [Young] just looked at each other and thought oh oh.

As the years went on, Scott’s technique became ever more radical. But some actors found the experience liberating. Susan Sarandon praised Scott for giving actors such a creative role.

‘I’m just going to drive off the cliff,’ I said. He shrugged. ‘Do what you have to do!’ And that was Thelma and Louise.

 However, some argue that after the shambles of Prometheus, the director is right to resort to a written screenplay. Michael Fassbender remembers the confusion on set. 

Actors were doing whatever they wanted to do. ‘I’m going to take my helmet off!’ ‘I’m going to treat this weird xenomorph snake like it is a cuddly mouse’. The worse point was Guy Pearce turning up and he’d done his own make up and everything. ‘You’re character’s supposed to be dead,’ Ridley said. ‘I don’t care,’ said Pearce and just got in front of the camera and wouldn’t move.

The Prometheus sequel is due to start filming later this year.  

STEPHEN FRY IS ON FOR WIKIPEDIA: THE MOVIE

OXFORDSHIRE – Wilde star, screenwriter and British brain box, Stephen Fry has signed on to write and star in Wikipedia: the Movie.

‘I’m very psyched (I believe one might say) or, as Proust would have it recerche something something,’ said Prof. Fry.

The plot revolves around Giuseppe Wiki and his inability to effectively plagiarise an essay:

Poor Giuseppe gets caught up in all sorts of conspiracy theories, literary scandals of authors puffing up their own work and denigrating that of rivals. Not to mention a massive tsunami of trivia that make old brainiacs like my good self quiver like the proverbial jelly during the biggest earthquake while visiting a jelly mine in jelly stone park. What!

Ridley Scott will direct and Jessica Chastain will play Disambiguation. 

THE ALTERNATIVE 2013 BAFTA NOMINATIONS












The ‘Shakespeare in Love’ Award for Worst Picture (Sponsored by Pedigree Chum)

Prometheus
Prometheus
Prometheus
Prometheus
Friends With Kids


The Paul W.S. Anderson Award for Worst Director (Sponsored by Marmite)

Ridley Scott – Prometheus
Jennifer Westfeldt – Friends With Kids
Fernando Meirelles – 360
Jonathan Liebesman – Wrath of The Titans
Playing for Keeps – Gabriele Muccino

The Jude Law Award for Worst Actor (Sponsored by Ronseal)

Liam Neeson – Taken 2
Nicolas Cage – Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance/Stolen
Vince Vaughn – The Watch
Eddie Murphy – A Thousand Words
Matthew Fox – Alex Cross

The Julia Roberts Award for Worst Actress ( Sponsored by Tena Lady)

Katherine Heigl – One for the Money
Kate Beckinsdale – Underworld: Awakening
Rachel Weisz – 360
Uma Thurman – Bel Ami
Rosamund Pike – Wrath of the Titans

The ‘Prometheus bitter disappoint of the year award’ (Sponsored by Weyland Industries)

Prometheus

The ‘Nicole Kidman award for dodgy plastic surgery’ (sponsored by Chupa Chups)

Jennifer Westfeldt

The ‘Probably dead next year so let’s give them an award’ Award ( Sponsored by Interflora)

Anthony Hopkins

The ‘Dennis Quaid Award for Outstanding contribution to mediocrity’.(Sponsored by Wallmart)

Clive Owen






SPECIAL COLLECTOR’S EDITION COLLECTOR: ERNIE SPANK

Spank
Collector’s Edition

LONDON – Ernie Spank is the Special Collector’s Edition collector extraordinaire. And this is his DVD/Blu-Ray Collector’s Edition Interview with interactive menu and TV spots. Read it!
Ernie, when did you start collecting collector’s editions?

Well, Chad I suppose it was round about Gladiator or the Phantom Menace, or maybe it was Starship Troopers. The point was at that point DVDs were just beginning to become really popular and I had nothing to live for. My wife and children had all died and I was self-harming. And then I saw it: the Collector’s Edition of Snake Eyes. The single disc edition was pitiful. Special features were the interactive menu and scene selection. I wanted a commentary and a behind the scenes feature-ette.

So what happened next?

I just bought everything that said ‘Collector’s Edition’, because you know I was a collector and so if I saw on the packaging the words ‘Collector’s Edition’, I thought, that’s for me, specifically. If it had said, ‘Family Murderer’s edition’, I probably would have done the same. Or ‘hears voices in his head promising to reward murder with colourful lights and choral music edition’.

 Who is your favourite director?

I love Ridley Scott. It’s almost as if that man makes films crap on purpose so he can have the biggest run up to the Special Collector’s Edition market. And then he lets rip with two disc, three disc, back to two disc and then four disc with the Japanese cut including eye gouging scene. That guy is the only director working who seems to think the DVD release is more important than the theatrical. Bless you Ridley!


And what is your most cherished disc?

I’d have to say the first Alexander by Oliver Stone. Because you buy the official Special Collector’s Edition and you think I’ve got it. The commentary, the docs. Trailers. The lot. And then he pulls out a director’s cut. Not much on this but you know. And then before the dollars are even cold in his wallet BANG Definitive Final Edition, motherfucker! To be followed by another edition. This guy has stones man. This guy made World Trade Center and he still goes around calling himself a director. Kudos.

5 BIGGEST MOVIE MISTAKES














There is nothing more fun in movies than spotting movie mistakes: Rick’s wet then dry raincoat in Casablanca, wrist watches and blue jeans in Gladiator and the Storm Trooper banging his head in Star Wars. So tie your shoe laces, comb your hair, choose your favourite zebra cushion to sit on and prepare to enjoy Studio Exec’s Top 5 Movie Mistakes.


  1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Upon its release Michael Bay’s film was greeted by the sound of the critical community collectively hurling into a tin bucket. Once the sound of splattering had died down and cooler regard was given to what went on nevertheless to be a massively successful blockbuster, one critic pointed out a very obvious mistake. If you watch the film until about 33 minutes in and pause it, concentrate. And you can feel clearly that this is a waste of your life. Already watching  a film in which a bunch of toys smash up cities for no particular reason is dumb but to watch three of these films: a mistake. A definite mistake.
  2. Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom is one of those actors who you expect to say he never meant to be an actor. But he did. He actually tries to do what he does. Otherwise known as Orlando Blando or Borelando Bloom. The amusement you get from these names is the net worth of Mr. Bloom. 
  3. Quantum of Solace. With Skyfall‘s success the dribbley turd of Quantum of Solace can probably be forgotten. Daniel Craig has recently claimed that they made QofS badly on purpose ‘like Ali taking all of Foreman’s punishment’ so that then they could make Skyfall as surprisingly good. But a mistake nonetheless.
  4. George Lucas. George Lucas’ mistakes have already been recounted so often it is redundant to repeat them here. Of all the many mistakes he has made throughout his career the most important has to be that he didn’t go and live in a Buddhist monastery in 1982. Some might say but wait aren’t you forgetting  Return of the Jedi (1983)? And the answer would be, ‘Yes’.
  5. Prometheus. The first thing to say is… no I can’t be bothered. Prometheus. No, no and thrice no.

PROMETHEUS DELETED SCENE REPAIRS ALL

HOLLYWOOD – It has been revealed that a seven minute deleted scene which will be restored to the Director’s Cut Extended Special 2 Disc Edition Blu-Ray, to be released in October will address many of the perceived failings of Ridley Scott’s much anticipated return to the Alien franchise.

The scene which is reported to come at the end of the film involves Noomi Rapace as Elisabeth Shaw waking up from hyper sleep to find the whole film has been a dream and the mission has yet to begin.

She describes to David (Michael Fassbender) the events of the film/dream, as he – unbelievingly – comments, ‘But that doesn’t make sense. Why would we take our helmets off?’

Ridley Scott – who has placed the blame for what he called ‘a fiasco of a film’ at the door of screenwriter Damon Lindeloff – says the scene was filmed prior to the theatrical release but had been edited out because he had deemed it ‘lame’.

‘In retrospect,’ the GI Jane director muttered, ‘It made a lot more sense than the actual film.’

Many fans have anticipated what is already being dubbed the Dallas solution, a reference to the return of apparently dead Bobby Ewing when his absence proved too much for the series. Some have also contested the chronology of the filming.

‘David’s dialogue actually quotes several of the more negative reviews,’ says Zooey Lodereck, writer for allpissedoff.com, who has seen a sneak preview of the material. ‘And his hair is all wrong. And both actors appear to be laughing.’

After all is said and done, Prometheus did make troughs of money and so the question is how will this scene effect the development of the sequel?