KATE WINSLET MARRIES NED ROCKNROLL (SIC) IN SECRET

Winslet pounced

MALIBU – Kate Winslet married Ned Rocknroll (really) in secret last night. In a secret ceremony at an undisclosed location wearing possibly a dress, but there’s no way we can know, the Hollywood star of such brilliant films as The Life of David Gale and Engima tied a knot (we’re not sure whether it was a double reef or a granny knot) with the preposterously named Ned Rocknroll, nephew of well known tie enemy and suicidal rich man, Richard Branson. Studio Exec exclusively got an opportunity to talk to Ned a few minutes ago.

Some kind of knot


Congratulations Ned.

Thanks… I suppose. For why?

On your marriage to Kate Winslet. She’s quite the catch.

Kate who?

Winslet.

The actress from the Life of David Gale and Enigma?

Yes.

And I’m supposed to be married to her?

Yes.

Wow, I suppose. 

You mean to say you didn’t know?

No. But I’m delighted… I think.

What do you think first attracted her to you?

My name. It’s like magic. Get yourself a ridiculous name and good things happen to you. 

Well Done. 

Well, thanks. I can’t wait to meet her.