REVIEW: NO TIME TO DIE

REVIEW – With the long anticipated domestic release of No Time To Die, we tell you if you should like it or not. Read our review now to decide how you feel about No Time To Die. Tell your family, tell your friends they have to read this. They are incapable of independent thought.

No Time To Die

Clocking in at a bum-numbing 4 hours and 52 minutes, No Time To Die is the longest film in the James Bond franchise. But it’s still way shorter than Marvel’s Endgame and that made a shit load of money, so swings and roundabouts.

No Time To Eye-Eye

The starting sequence is a thrill ride of action packed references to previous Bond films. There’s a motorized Gondola chase, a racist red-neck Sheriff and a Zombie Judi Dench turns up to bend Pierce Brosnan over a desk to fist him as he squeals his way through The Winner Takes It All by ABBA.

No Time To I-Spy

The titles aint what they used to be. Long-gone are the days of naked women covered in fluorescent paint. And Duran-Duran warbling over the top, like adolescent Republicans at a Karaoke bar. These titles take themselves seriously, as does the theme song. Can anyone remember what the theme song sounds like? I can’t, and I’ve just watched the film. There are lots of musical references to previous Bond films. Alice Cooper’s Man With The Golden Gun theme is in there, as is Radiohead’s Skyfall theme. There’s also a reworking of the James Bond theme, played on guitar by Jimmy Page which lasts even longer than the film.

Dr No Character Development

The villain does a wonderful version of Crazy Little Thing Called Love from his glamorous evil hideout and Daniel Craig looks like a baked potato in a tuxedo. He’s ugly, but you’d still smother him in sour cream and push him into your face. But who cares about all of this because it’s Bond. So if you like Bond, you’ll go see it and if you don’t like Bond, you won’t go and see it. Either way it doesn’t matter. There’s far too much money to be made out of these things regardless of what we say or do.

No Time To Die Is Showing Somewhere Within 20 Yards Of You

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY 2 GETS TRAILER

HOLLYWOOD – The trailer for Bohemian Rhapsody 2 has dropped.

Following Rami Malek’s Oscar win, Bohemian Rhapsody 2 dropped their trailer this morning. The new film will feature Freddie Mercury’s twin brother Elton John pursuing his own career in 70s rock. Although there is no sight of Rami in the trailer, there are rumors that he’ll return as a ghost.

 

Bohemian Rhapsody 2 comes out in the Fall.

SACHA BARON COHEN TO MAKE RIVAL FREDDIE MERCURY FILM

HOLLYWOOD – Sacha Baron Cohen announces Freddie Mercury film to rival Bohemian Rhapsody.

Don’t stop me now, says Sacha Baron Cohen as he signs on for a rival version of the Queen story. The British comedian was originally slated to play the lead singer in Bohemian Rhapsody when creative differences saw him leave the project. But his interest revived when he watched the Rami Malek film.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with The Studio Exec, the Borat actor had this to say:

What we wanted to do is so different from what they did that I realized that we could make the film and no one would even think of them being about the same person. They did essentially a straightforward and rather sanitized version. We wanted to see the excess, the parties, the extravagance, the decadence.

Sounds good. But will Queen let you use the music?

No obviously not. But we see that as an advantage. That way we avoid all those scenes in the studio and at the concerts and we can just concentrate on the orgies and the drugs. Plus our director is really prepared. Knows everything about Queen, has done the research.

Who is it?

Bryan Singer.

Oh.

He was going to do that Elton John movie with Tom Hardy, but once Tom left he decided to look into Queen and that’s why he’s so uniquely qualified.

Fat Bottomed Girls (You Make the Rockin’ World Go Round) will be released in 2020.

GUESS WHO’S REPLACING BRYAN SINGER DIRECTING QUEEN MOVIE?

HOLLYWOOD – Christopher Plummer will replaces Bryan Singer as the director of Queen movie Bohemian Rhapsody.

Once Bryan Singer departed Bohemian Rhapsody everyone knew what was coming. No sooner had Christopher Plummer finished filming his Kevin Spacey replacement scenes for Ridley Scott than he received a telephone call from someone calling themselves Mr. Robot:

A voice asked me if I would direct a film? Could I direct a film? I thought this very unusual, but I answered I’ve seen it done enough times. I think I should manage. Next thing I knew someone delivered a script to my door as well as a bunch of musicians.

No one has explained the mystery surrounding Singer’s removal. There were reports of a family illness. But also of disruptive behavior on the set, with a worsening relationship with his lead Rami Malek, who stars as Freddie Mercury. That latter hypothesis seems implausible given the asymmetric status of the two.

Adding more confusion is the fact that rumors linking Singer to child abuse claims have seen many assuming he would be joining the lengthening list of Hollywood disgrace. Plummer’s appointment indicates this might be the case.

We asked Christopher if he was aware of Queen.

I will admit that at first I said yes because I’ve always wanted to work with Helen Mirren.

Bohmeian Rhapsody will be released in 2019.

MR ROBOT SEASON 3 TO BE ALL ABOUT POKEMON

HOLLYWOOD – The second season of USA Network’s Mr Robot has only just begun but already Sam Esmail has announced the theme of Season 3: Pokemon.

With Mr Robot dropping the Second Season earlier this week, expectations have been ramped up about how the show will continue to have its finger on the pulse of contemporary life. Rami Malek will return once more as Eliot but this time the Hacktivist drama will go in a totally different and more lighthearted direction.

Sam Esmail spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about what fans can expect:

I’m always on the lookout for the next big thing. I want to make a drama that is as up to date as possible and so far I’ve managed. We have Obama and Brexit and the election in the Second Season, but we missed Pokemon Go and that is without doubt going to be the most significant thing.

Can you give us a hint of how you’ll work that into the plot?

Of course, no spoilers obviously but Eliot is onto the new game and he is playing it obsessively. We have twelve episodes of this and then in the final episode it’s revealed that there’s no such thing as Pokemon Go and all this time he was really hunting himself.

Mr Robot Season 3 will drop in September, a year earlier than expected.

EVERYONE GOT TO EPISODE 5 OF MR. ROBOT

HOLLYWOOD – It was revealed today that everyone got to episode five of USA’s Mr. Robot before giving up.

A study by the Federal Office of Uncertain Statistics revealed that everyone who watched  Mr. Robot watched it until episode five and then gave up. The show stars Rami Malek as Elliot, a computer programmer who works for a cyber security company by day, but by night uses his skills to right wrongs etc. It’s like Knight Rider with laptop instead of a car called KIT 9000. Elliot is recruited by the mysterious Mr. Robot (Christian Slater) the leader of a group of rag tag predictably diverse hackers.

Dr. Parker Fillipe of the FOUS told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

The viewer experience of Mr. Robot has been unusually unanimous. Everybody watched the first two episodes and thought it was ‘kick ass’, ‘genuinely original television’ etc. High approval. Then then next two episodes intrigue and interest slowly congeal as twists are predicted and Elliot’s Asperger’s voice-over becomes tiresome. What viewers found particularly irksome was how something was said and then immediately contradicted. For instance in the first episode he talks about how devastatingly lonely he is and then ten minutes later he’s in bed with his beautiful drug dealer. I imagine that is resolved in a later episode but none of us could be bothered at this point.

Has any other show been so universally judged in a similar way?

Critically yes. Lost finale, or True Detective Season 2 spring to mind, but people still watched, and most people watched all the way to the end. But Mr. Robot, no one and I mean absolutely no one watched passed episode 5.

Mr. Robot Season 2 is due in 2016.