KRISTEN STEWART SUES CHARLES FOR ALIMONY

Breaking News – Kristen Stewart sues Charles for alimony after claiming she had ‘weird, spiritual feelings’ playing Princess Diana in her new film, Spencer. With years of backdated child support owing, which could cost the Windsors millions of pounds, Kristen Stewart sues Charles. The Exec caught up with the actress to discuss the impending court case.

Kristen, Can you Tell Us Why-

Look here, what-what-what. You shall address one by one’s correct title. That is ‘Your Royal Highness, Princess Of Hearts’. What-what-what.

Okay, If You Insist, Your Royal Highness, Princess Of Hearts.

That’s much better, what-what-what. It occurred to one while shooting one’s biopic, Spencer, that one’s ex, that is Prince Charles, owes me alimony. He’s never paid me a penny in child support.

I Don’t Like To Say This, But You’re Not Diana Spencer. She’s Been Dead For Years. You’re Kristen Stewart. A wonderful actress. But An Actress Nonetheless. Not Princess Diana.

Awf with his head! One has never been so insulted.

She Never Said Off With His Head – That’s The Queen Of Hearts in Alice In Wonderland.

How dare you sir. I am – That is – One is beloved the world round. Charities queue up out of the door for my patronage. I make them millions of pounds. One tried to deal with this amicably, but Prince Charles wouldn’t take my agent’s calls. The way one sees it, one is spiritually channeling Diana. Because one is the embodiment of all that she stood for. Charity, motherhood, ummm… opening hospitals and that. So, one is owed plenty dollar. We were not amused.

That was Queen Victoria

Let me state the position. Ladies first, yes?

 

Queen Latifah

I want to break free from your lies?

 

Freddie Mercury From Queen

Oh FUCK YOU!

There we go.

Buckingham Palace Were Not Available For Comment. Spencer Is Out In Cinemas On November 5th.

THE FIRST IMAGE FROM THE CONJURING 3 RELEASED

HOLLYWOOD –  The first image The Conjuring 3 has been released onto the internet causing widespread fear and panic.

Following the success of the previous two Conjuring films, it was inevitable that there would be another installment. The Conjuring 3 sees the return of psychics Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) and Ed (Patrick Wilson) Warren, who are called back to London to investigate a possible haunting at BBC Broadcasting house.

Director James Wan spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the new film:

During the 1980s the BBC did not have 24 hour programming on the television and so a test card would be broadcast during the night and in the afternoon so that people could see that there television sets were working. The most famous of these was called Test Card F and featured a young girl playing noughts and crosses with a clown called Bubbles. What many people don’t know is that Bubbles would often wait until someone was alone in the house and if the set had been accidentally left on would come out of the television and kill his victims. Over three hundred people were murdered during the 80s and the Warrens were called in, along with several other private investigators, to solve the mystery. In the end the whole thing was covered up by the Royal family because it turned out that Bubbles had been Prince Charle’s only childhood friend.

The Conjuring 3: Horror at the BBC will be released in 2018.