AUSTRIA – Famed Austrian auteur and misery Michael Haneke is to team up with some of the legends of American gross out comedy to remake Funny Games for the second time.

Having won the Palmes D’Or and the Oscars for his film Amour, Michael Haneke is considered by many to be at the top of his art house game. And so yesterday’s announcement came out of the blue, as – in a joint press conference with Pete and Bobby Farrelly, he announced a sequel to his only American made film, Funny Games, provisionally entitled Funnier Games.

The 2007 film which featured Naomi Watts and Tim Roth being terrorized by Michael Pitt and chum in white tennis toggs was something of a misstep for the director and he has since gone on record regretting the film, which was a remake of a film he had already made in German in 1997. The idea for a sequel came when the director saw the film again in a small Los Angeles theater.

Haneke recalled:

There was this raucous laughter coming from the back all the way through the film, and I thought how wonderful, finally someone who understands my admittedly bleak Austrian sense of humor.  After the film I followed the men who had been laughing and cornered them at the McDonald’s where they were drinking out of one soda carton with two straws.

‘We thought Mikey’s work was unbelievable, like totally,’ says Bobby.

‘Misunderstood,’ says Petey. ”The Seventh Continent? Hilarious. Hour of the Wolf? Hilarious. The White Ribbon? I pissed my pants it was so funny.’

‘He totally did,’ says Bobby. ‘He pissed his pants.’

The new film will feature Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey, killing children amidst hapless escapades and gross out humor.

‘He really did piss his pants,’ Bobby assured us. Again.

Funny Games will be released in 2017.


Astonishing news reached us in the early hours of the morning that Seth MacFarlane has been fired as host of the Oscars taking place tonight and has been replaced by ex-Pope Benedict the XVI, the 265th Pope, but the first to ever present the Academy Awards. The lateness of the appointment was easily explained by his Holiness: ‘I thought I’d be busy, but when they accepted my resignation, I thought yippee and phoned my agent immediately.’

MacFarlane was bitterly disappointed because he’d prepared three jokes and all of them were ‘really good’. Well, one was really good and the other two were okay if you’re stoned.
The news has been welcomed by Mel Gibson and… well, just Mel Gibson actually.
Rumors are circulating that MacFarlane was always going to be replaced (for more on that story CLICK HERE), but the choice of his replacement surprised Billy Crystal who was last seen at his tailors late last night making adjustments. When asked if he had any tips for the pontiff, Crystal snarled and drips of foam dropped from his quivering bruise-colored lips.