DONALD TRUMP’S TOP FIVE MOVIES

MIAMI – Donald Trump chooses his top 5 movies.

Taking time off running for President and avoiding paying tax, Donald Trump popped into the Studio Exec election bus to talk to the Studio Exec about his favorite films.

One. Pink Floyd The Wall. “When it comes to building walls, no one is better than me. I build beautiful walls believe me. And when I build walls I think I always go back to the advice of Roger Waters and the boys. I put a brick in the wall. You know. And then I put another brick in the wall. And that’s how it goes.”

Two. Grown Ups 2. “It doesn’t have the freshness of Grown Ups, but it is deeper. I mean beautiful really. Ask anyone.”

Three. Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. “This for me was the one time that Indiana Jones made sense. The minute he stepped into the fridge I said to myself, this guy is smart. Forget the archaeology and the fruity whip cracking. Hide in a fridge. That’s advice we could all listen to. And when Shia LaBeouf swings through the jungle like Tarzan, very funny. Hilarious.”

Four. Goldfinger. “I love the bit where James Bond grabs the Bond girl. What’s she called? Honor Blackman plays her.”

Five. The Triumph of the Will. “My favorite Charlie Chaplin. Hilarious. Funny, because it’s true!”

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

MY FAVORITE FILM: DONALD TRUMP

NEW YORK: Hey everybody. I guess Donald Trump doesn’t need to go around introducing himself anymore, because everyone already knows who I am. I am Donald Trump, Reality TV star, business tycoon and the next President of the United States of Trumpania.

When my good friend the Studio Exec asked me to write a film review of my favorite film, I couldn’t help but wonder why someone hadn’t asked me to write one before. I’m the best at writing filming reviews because when I watch a film I know if it is good, or if it is bad instantly. As I’m watching it. I can even tell from just reading who is it in it. Before I even see it. But the question was what was my favorite film? That’s a good question. At first I thought The Bible! But then I realized that was a private matter and I wans’t even sure there was a film called The Bible. So then I realized my favorite is Alan Parker’s musical Pink Floyd: The Wall.

I know what you’re thinking. Brilliant choice Mr. Trump. Oh and can I have a job? Yes, I know it’s a brilliant choice. I made it. And talk to my people. I’m not dealing with hiring at the moment.

Pink Floyd: The Wall is about a guy called Pink – I know clever right – who builds this beautiful wall. I mean you should see it. White bricks – that’s not racist, but they are the best bricks – nice and tall, no beautiful door in it but still you can see where I’m going. So that’s the issue of illegals dealt with. But Pink Floyd: The Wall includes pretty much a policy document for me.

We Don’t Need No Education: that’s my education policy. The University of Life is enough for anyone with the smarts to make it in the real world.

Mother, do you think they’ll drop the bomb? Not if we drop it first and the Chinese know full well that I’m the kind of guy to do it!

Is there anybody out there? Yes, thousands of raping Mexicans. That’s why Pink builds the wall.

Does Anybody Here Remember Vera Lynn? Yes, World War Two forces sweet heart. What do I win?

Comfortably Numb: In two words my ideal electorate!

Pink builds himself a Tea Party-esque political movement and gets a haircut, which was long overdue. Though there is some lightness when he accidentally cuts his eyebrows off as well.

My only criticism of the film is that at the end they ‘bring down the wall’. That is dumb! Who would build a wall, spend their whole life building the wall only to tear it down at the end? Probably John McCain! Am I right?

For more Favorite Films, Click HERE.

BRET EASTON ELLIS PENS YEEZUS SCRIPT

HOLLYWOOD – After the unwiped orifice that was The Canyons, many believed that Bret Easton Ellis would cry off involvement in an art form he so obviously doesn’t understand, but alas no.

He has happily agreed to turn Kanye West‘s Yeezus album into a movie and has according to reports already finished a draft. 

The American Psycho (as he prefers to be known) had this to say:

I didn’t want to do anything after The Canyons. It was just such a pile of utterly unredeemable asswipery, but then the 27 year old said ‘You have to get back on the horse’. I was stunned. Wow. He just thinks these things up and says them. So I said, ‘What do I do?’ And he had an album playing and he said ‘I don’t know: this?’ So I said okay. 

What was Kanye West’s reaction?

I went up to his house and when I met him I said ‘It’s an honor to finally meet you, Mr. Kardashian.’ He didn’t like that one bit. But once I’d cleaned up and the mace had worn off we had a really good conversation. And we agreed I could write a draft.  

It’s been a long time since we’ve had a film based on an album.

Right, and I love those films. Tommy, Pink Floyd: The Wall

Will Kanye West’s Yeezus be that good?

Oh! [laughs hysterically] That’s hardly likely. I’m writing the script. Didn’t I make that clear? 

Kanye West’s Yeezus will be released in 2018.