VIENNA – Having won the Oscar and golden Palme d’or for his French remake of Meet the Fockers, Michael Haneke is branching out into other fields of entertainment, opening an amusement park in the suburbs of Vienna based on his filmography.

Haneke Land looks set to rival Euro-Disney and Lego Land as the most popular European destination to take the kids for a fun day out.

As Haneke showed us around the site, the Austrian director and famous misery guts said he was ‘stoked’  about the project.
All my films are represented. For instance, the mini-golf is called Funny Games and you have to break a smug middle class man’s leg. In the Seventh ContinentFamily Trip, you go through a car wash into the ride then you destroy everything you own and commit suicide. It’s fantastic!
The White Ribbon of Fun anticipates the cruelty and horror of the Second World War via childhood sadism. ‘It’s like a merry-go-round but the horses all trip up and have to be humanely destroyed,’  says Mike.
There’s also the Piano Teacher Hall of Mirrors, Benny’s Video-rama and the Hidden Experience during which someone you bullied when you were kids cuts his throat in front of you and your family.

Haneke Land is due to open in the first week of May and the first 90 customers will receive a complementary punch in the throat.