RON HOWARD CALLED IN TO DIRECT THE LAST JEDI

HOLLYWOOD – Ron Howard replaces Rian Johnson on Star Wars Episode 8 The Last Jedi.

Han Solo director Ron Howard has taken over from Rian Johnson as the director of the eighth instalment of the Star Wars series, The Last Jedi. The decision came down late last night and hit the internets early this morning. Howard spoke to the Studio Exec immediately:

I was talking with Kathleen about the process and how Rian was doing. They were really happy and everything seemed honky tonky, but I could tell they were nervous. So I said why don’t I take over. They tried to hide their delight. They told me the film was practically finished and there was just the soundtrack and the titles to add, but I knew what they meant. So late last night I snuck into the editing booth and changed the card to ‘Directed by Ron Howard’. I know they’ll be over the moon.

Howard already took over from Chris Miller and Philip Lord – the Lego Movie and Jump Street 22 directors – to complete the Han Solo project. He is also talking about taking over Blade Runner 2049 as well as releasing a Director’s Cut of Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk.

‘I’m going to change the music and add my name at the end,’ he told the Exec. ‘I didn’t realize that it could be so easy. But now I don’t know if I’ll ever bother to do a whole film again.’

Rian Johnson, however, insists that he’s still the film’s director.

We did find Howard’s name at the end of a rough cut and he occasionally sneaked onto the set and shouted ‘Action!’ or ‘Cut!’ I thought it was just a joke.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi will be released in December, 2017

HAN SOLO EMAILS LEAKED ON-LINE

HOLLYWOOD – A slew of emails from the troubled production of stand alone Star Wars film Han Solo have appeared on the internet.

Emails between Lawrence Kasdan and Kathleen Kennedy and Phil Lord and Chris Miller have leaked online. Here are some selected moments of what proved to be a troubled production.

Hi Fellas!

How is everything going with the shoot? 

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, Hi Lawrence,

Everything is AWESOME.

……………………………………………………..

Hi Boys!

Just some notes on the rushes from the shoot so far. Me and Lawrence got to see them and we want to say on the whole it looks like you’re doing a great job. We do have one or two concerns. I’ve listed them below. 

First off: Do we need the songs? I’m asking myself. 

Secondly: Alden Ehrenreich’s performance is a bit LEGO-y. Is that a fake head?

Then: Having Lando and Han take a psychotropic drug during which Lando gets the idea for Cloud City isn’t consistent with how that happens in the canon. 

Finally: Can we also not have Chewbacca be quite so stoned quite so often? 

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, Hi Lawrence,

Everything is great (when you’re part of a team)

……………………………………………………..

Yeah about that. We’re thinking that Alden might need some help with his performance. Tell him not to worry about it. We just want someone onset who will contradict everything you tell him.

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, HI Lawrence,

We’re getting vibes from you guys that the weather isn’t exactly peachy. It feels Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, if we’re to be honest!

……………………………………………………..

Yeah, Fellas!

Enough of the referencing your films in ever single email. You remember when we said we wanted your individual vision and how important it was to us to hear your voices in the movie? Remember how we said we wanted to give you total creative freedom? Well, that was all bullshit. Turns out what we really want you to do is stick to the script and quit with the postmodernism. As in pronto!

Han Solo will be released in 2018.

HENRY WINKLER REPLACES ALDEN EHRENREICH AS HAN SOLO

HOLLYWOOD – Ron Howard’s new Han Solo movie got its first shot today and revealed a new star.

Speculation was rife today about how Ron Howard would change the direction of the stand alone Star Wars movie: Han Solo. Well, following the release of the first image, it looks as if his take is going to be radically different from the rest of the franchise. A digitally de-aged Henry Winkler takes over from Alden Ehrenreich in the starring role. Ron Howard spoke to the Studio Exec about the new film:

Set on the planet of Milwaukee, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, our film starts with the Cunninghams, a race of sedate play it safe aliens who rent out their attic to Han Solo, a young pilot, smuggler and all round cool guy, but things begin to go wrong. First of all the Cunninghams said no pets, but Solo has brought Chewbacca. Then Potzie and Ralph need advice about meeting girls and Han tells them… but wait, I’m spoiling it for you. The important thing is it is all very exciting and it ends well when Solo enters a waterskiing competition, but there’s a shark swimming nearby. I won’t say anymore.

Fans said unanimously:

It doesn’t matter if it’s a curl of poop with a flag saying Star Wars perched on a cocktail stick, we’d still go and see it.

When asked to comment Henry Winkler, said:

Sit on it!

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

 

FIVE FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ALDEN EHRENREICH

HOLLYWOOD – Five Facts you never knew about the new Han Solo Alden Ehrenreich.

Everybody knows Alden Ehrenreich from… is going to be the new Han Solo, but what do we really know about him. We sent the Studio Exec FACT group to collect a bounty on his head from Jabba the FACT.

One. Alden Ehrenreich invented the typewriter.

Two. Although he brushes his teeth, Alden Ehrenreich refuses to floss, calling it ‘a con.’ The American Dental Association condemned the actor’s controversial flossing comments, saying he had gone ‘full-Carrey’.

Three. The young Ehrenreich has already impressed a series of hard-hitters in Hollywood, working for the Coen Brothers, as well as Woody Allen, Steven Spielberg and someone called Francis Ford Coppola.

Four. When Alden auditioned for the role of the young Han Solo  for directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller, he won their respect by turning up to the studio dressed in Lego.

Five. For his role in Hail Caesar, Alden learned Latin. Wrongly.

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

LEGO MOVIE RIOTS BREAK OUT IN LA

HOLLYWOOD – Police and civic leaders were this evening calling for calm as riots continued to rage across Los Angeles following the snubbing of The Lego Movie at the Academy  Awards nominations.

People had begun to gather early in the afternoon when an ugly rumor spread that How to Train Your Dragon 2 had been nominated whereas The Lego Movie had been neglected entirely. An eyewitness told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

At first people were chanting wry stuff like ‘Everything is not f*cking Awesome’ and ‘Down with President Business’ when someone spotted a guy wearing a Big Hero 6 t-shirt and it all went crazy. Petrol bombs were thrown, windows broken, the police responded with tear gas and baton charges.

President Barack Obama was one of many voices calling for calm, but has also ordered the mobilization of the National Guard.

In his television address this evening, the President said:

I am calling on everyone to stay at home and maintain law and order. I know that it absolutely blows that Lord and Miller’s film wasn’t recognized. And for what? How to Train Your Dragon 2? But we must keep a sense of proportion. These are the Oscars. They really don’t matter that much, except to George Clooney and Leonardo diCaprio.

Chris Miller and Philip Lord both tweeted about their dissatisfaction but with trademark good humor. Neither of them have responded to accusations that they were the main instigators of the riots. Late last night Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly stated that:

The Lego Movie encourages civil unrest, portrays violent protest as legitimate with its frankly communist attack on our economic system and our need for social obedience. No wonder pinheads are fighting on the streets of Los Angeles.

The Oscars are a bunch of bullsh*t on February 22nd, 2015.