HOLLYWOOD – Following his success in Edge of Tomorrow, Tom Cruise announced that he will next be starring in the remake of 1982 cult hit Koyaanistqatsi.

Everyone’s favorite Thetan said: 

I’ve always been a huge admirer of Godfrey Reggio’s film and not only his film but in a way all films and the things that films do. We’re very much at the pre-production stage and the script still needs a couple of rewrites. But we hope to stay close to the original. At least in spirit.   

But the original didn’t have a script, or story, or any characters as such.

That’s one way of looking at it. Yes. But I think our take is going to do the same thing – talk about the fractured nature of modern American existence – but by different means.

 What different means?

Well, I play a John Marcus, a man with a preternatural ability to fight the hoards of aliens that have invaded …

Woah. What has this got to do with Koyaanisqatsi?

Hang on. Invaded the Earth. Okay? And I am the only man, and I mean the one and only man who can stop them via my fighting skills and my audacity. Do you understand?

I still fail to see where Koyaanisqatsi comes into it.

I’m getting to that. The aliens – who are seriously the most horrific creatures ever and they have this hive mind – come from a planet called… wait for it.


You’ve read the script? 

Koyaanisqatsi will be released in 2016. 


NEW YORK – After the triumph of Les Miserables last year, Anne Hathaway and Russell Crowe are to join together once more in song – this time without Wolverine – for the modernist opera, Philip Glass’s Einstein on the Beach.

Tom Hooper will once more direct but this time he said he is not insisting the actors all sing live.

That was an experiment and like many experiments, it didn’t work. You still learn something but that’s in the nature of experiments. Philip Glass is our most important contemporary composer, after Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Many think that the repetitive singing style and the musical discipline required to perfrom Glass’s Opera will be a reach for Russell Crowe but Hooper has no such qualms.

I won’t lie. We did change some lyrics. In Knee 1. The lyrics originally read ‘1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8’, so we changed it to ‘1-2-3-4’. With Anne we had no such problems and I think people are going to be amazed by how she’ll win another Oscar.

 Einstein On the Beach will start filming in August.


HOLLYWOOD – Kevin Costner‘s epic movie Golf: The Motion Picture is due out in February, 2013 and Studio Exec have been given an exclusive access to his six hour long labor of love.
Starring Costner, Robert Duvall and Danny Glover, Golf tells the story of the Greenridge Golf Club, during an ordinary day. ‘Golf has become very popular with super stars like Tiger Woods bringing many new fans to the sport,’ The Postman star said. ‘But in a way I think it has become too exciting with competitions like The US Masters and the Ryder Cup giving entirely the wrong impression. Golf is generally much slower and boring. My film tries to reflect that’

The film looks beautiful, with a stirring score by Philip Glass. It hasn’t a story as such. Greens man and part time player, Joe Buckle (Costner) cuts the grass and worries about mole hills. Bill (Duvall) and Jeff (Glover) slowly and ineptly complete their usual 18 holes.  The pace is as pedestrian as they are. Costner said:

We want the reality of golf to be seen on the screen. Anyone expecting the high octane excitement of Wyatt Earp or the frenetic story telling of Open Range are going to be disappointed. This is going to be long and involves a thirty minute scene of Jeff and Bill looking for a ball in the rough.

‘It’s like Caddyshack without the jokes,’ said Glover. ‘Actually it’s like Caddyshack.’

Golf: the Motion Picture is out February 23rd, 2013.