STEVE MARTIN IS LAUREL AND HARDY

HOLLYWOOD – Steve Martin has revealed that he is to play Laurel and Hardy in a new version of Way Out West to be directed by Robert Zemeckis.

‘We’ll use some CGI,’ said The Man with Two Brains, ‘But this will be largely live action, with me playing both roles.’

The beloved comedy duo were a sublime comedy double team so how will Cheaper by the Dozen Martin face the challenge of playing not one part but both?

Steve Martin told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

When I was acting in The Jerk I sat down and I wrote a list of comedy heroes, but I wanted to overcome and defeat. To eat up whole if you like. Phil Silvers as Sgt. Bilko, Spencer Tracy in Father of the Bride, Peter Sellers as Inspector Clousseau. I think – without wanting to appear hubristic – that I’ve managed to achieve my ambition. When anyone thinks of those characters, they don’t think of Sellers, or Silvers, or Tracy, they immediately think of Steve Martin. That’s me. Steve Martin. The King of Comedy.

 Robert Zemeckis seems a trifle embarrassed, ‘The thing about rediscovering a classic is that…’

‘We should call it Stevel and Stevey!’ shouts Steve Martin. ‘I mean after the film, no one’s going to think of those bozos any more.’

Who next?

Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? After I finish with Laurel and Hardy, first I’m going to make a film called Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein and I’ll play Abbot and Costello and Frankenstein. Then it’s on to the Marx Brothers, where I’ll play all four and the harp.

‘Way Out West is due for a Xmas release 2019.

SNEAK PEEK OF JAMIE BELL AS 007

HOLLYWOOD – Following the revelation that English actor Jamie Bell will replace Daniel Craig as James Bond 007, an image was released onto the internet which is supposedly the first poster for the new James Bond movie: Jimmy Bond.

Jamie Bell has been confirmed to play an earlier incarnation of Her Majesty’s most secret agent, James Bond 007.

The film begins long before Casino Royale when James Bond was simply Jimmy Bond, just another boy in the prep school, with dreams of espionage and ballet. But mainly espionage.

Jimmy Bond first apeared as a character int he Peter Sellers parody Casino Royale and was played by Woody Allen, but the new version of the Bond character is to be taken seriously according to writer Paul Haggis:

We’ve been playing for years with the idea of putting a younger Bond on screen. Charlie Higson wrote some really interesting Young Adult novels with the young Bond, but we’re going to do something different. This is going to be the first James Bond song and dance film and I think it’s about time. Bond won’t be dealing with Spectre and SMERSH but instead, a batey headmaster and a couple of bully wags in the cloister pantry.

Jimmy Bond will be released in 2018.

 Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

WAS PETER SELLERS ALSO A NAZI?

HOLLYWOOD – Following the unveiling of Charlie Chaplin as a Nazi, the Studio Exec has discovered that British comic actor Peter Sellers was also possibly a member of a far right group as can clearly be seen from this photograph taken in 1969.

Peter Sellers was already famous for his portrayal of Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther and A Shot in the Dark when he was apparently seduced by the tenets of National Socialism, probably by old Goons colleague Spike Milligan. Stanley Kubrick, who worked with Peter Sellers on the film A Clockwork Orange in which Sellers played a number of parts, said of Sellers:

Peter is a wonderful actor, capable of comedy and drama and anything. And as a human being, he is a very interesting man, and apparently Aryan. Or at least that’s what he keeps saying.

How many secret Nazis are hiding, or have hidden, in Hollywood?

Here is a short list:

Charlie Chaplin

Clint Eastwood

Peter Sellers

Gregory Peck

Ian McKellen

Malcolm McDowell

Bruno Ganz

PADDINGTON BEAR DUBBED

HOLLYWOOD – The bear who stars in the new movie Padington was dubbed by English actor Ben Wishaw, The Studio Exec can EXCLUSIVELY reveal.

The news came as a shock to the British films millions of young fans.

‘It’s complete ruddy bullsh*t,’ said Carl (11).

I paid good money to watch Paddington and although I had lots of fun watching his pleasant buffonry and japes, as well as scoffing some top tucker and swilling it down with lashings of ginger beer, I was devilishly put out to discover that there was some actor johnny doing all his lines. Zooks! Let the bear speak, for the love of God’s green earth.

The film’s director, Paul King rushed to explain:

We did try with Paddington’s own voice but unfortunately being from Peru he had a very strong Peruvian accent and his English left a lot to be desired. First of all Colin Firth agreed to do it, but after half a day he threw a wobbly about there being too many green M&Ms in his M&Ms jar and walked off. We had to get Q (Ben Wishaw) from the James Bond films to come in and dub over the bear’s lines.

Although rare and consider dishonest, this is not the first time an actors lines have been overdubbed by people other than themselves. Humphrey Bogart in Beat the Devil was dubbed by Peter Sellers; Darth Vader’s voice was replaced by George Lucas and Caesar in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was dubbed by Antonio Banderas.

Paddington is on current release.  

DR. STRANGELOVE THE DIRECTOR’S CUT TO BE RELEASED

HOLLYWOOD – Stanley Kubrick’s Cold War masterpiece Dr. Stangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) is to be re-released in a new version which will include the famous custard pie fight ending, cut from the original theatrical release.

The Kubrick Estate said that the film has been painstakingly pieced together and digitally remastered.

A spokesperson told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

This has been the work of several years and has taken experts from all over the world, including the participation of famous directors and fans of Stanley like Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese.

How can you be sure that this is the version Kubrick wanted the world to see?

A lot of people think of Stanley Kubrick now as the master manipulator, the man who controlled every aspect of his film’s production., The answer however is a little more prosaic. Often Stanley was in two minds about a creative decision and if he could have I believed he would have released both versions of the film. Look at The Shining which he dramatically edited when the longer version didn’t play well. So now we have the opportunity of showing the film with the custard pie scene intact, I think he would be pleased with the idea. Plus he liked making money as well.

What other changes are there?

Peter Sellers played the part of the pilot Major ‘King’ Kong until an accident meant he had to give up the extra role. However we have some footage of him doing some of the early scenes and Stanley also recorded his line reading of the whole script so we’ve put back those scenes and we’ve CGIed Peter Seller’s head onto Slim Pickens’ body for the scenes he didn’t do. So now we have Sellers as Mandrake, the President, Dr. Strangelove and Maj. Kong.

Anything else?

Yes. Kanye West has recorded a completely new soundtrack, supervised by Nicolas Refn Winding.

Dr. Strangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) will be released on Blu-ray on Friday and will be in a limited theatrical release across the country.

 

 

PETER SELLERS: BENEFIT FRAUD

It can finally be revealed that famed comic actor Peter Sellers was actually a benefit fraud who pretended – some say acted – disabled in order to claim government handouts and park closer to the library. This photograph reveals the actor blatantly standing unaided, whereas it appears in fact to have been poor Stanley Kubrick who needed a wheelchair, possibly because he was rendered unable to stand due to Mr. Sellers’ bare faced gall. At the bottom of the picture, another crew member can be seen knocked unconscious by the effrontery of the soon to be Inspector Clousseau. 
British Prime Minister David Cameron revealed that his government would be digging up the remains of Mr. Sellers and dragging them behind chariots, especially made for just such an occasion. ‘We are a nation of strivers,’ said Mr. Cameron. ‘And he has shamed himself and everyone else in the entire country.’
A film historian even pointed out that the character he is playing actually stands up at the end of the film, making his deception all the more perfidious. 
(SPOILER ALERT)