PETER JACKSON’S MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR WILL BE 10 HOURS

WELLINGTON – Get Back director Peter Jackson signs on to direct Magical Mystery Tour.

Magical Mystery Tour disappointed many Beatles fans on its release in 1967. Following the success of Get Back, Peter Jackson announced yesterday that his follow up is a reimagining and re-editing of the film. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Jackson had this to say:

The tragedy of Magical Mystery Tour is that the album has so many great songs. There’s the title track of course. But you also have Penny Lane, I Am the Walrus…

Fool on the Hill.

No, I hate Fool on the Hill. Anyway, we have all these wonderful songs and then this film that by comparison doesn’t stand up.

So what are you going to do?

This film was the first time the public didn’t respond well to the Beatles. And yet they shot over ten hours of footage. Now, imagine how great when I remaster and digitally fix all that footage and edit it together. It’ll be amazing.

How long will your film be?

Ten hours. Obviously.

The film tells the story of the Fab Four as they take a tour on a psychedelic bus with Ivor Cutler and other guests along for the ride. Initially shown on Boxing Day in black and white by the BBC, it did not receive a warm reception. John Lennon blamed the BBC but many saw Paul McCartney as the culprit. The film credits the Beatles as writers and directors, as well as starring in the film and providing the music.

Peter Jackson’s Magical Mystery Tour will be on Disney+

GET BACK 2 – PLEASE F*CK OFF GREENLIT

HOLLYWOOD – After the runaway success of Peter Jackson’s Get Back Beatles documentary, Disney have announced a sequel entitled Get Back 2 – Please F*ck Off and has already started filming. This time around Get Back 2 – Please F*ck Off will be a docu-drama based on The Smith’s ex frontman and erotic fiction author, Morrissey. The film is being directed by Shane Meadows and stars Paddy Considine in the lead role. The Exec spoke with Meadows about his latest project.

Shane, Please Tell Us About Get Back 2 – Please F*ck Off

Peter (Jackson) called me up and said that Disney were driving truck after truck of money up his drive in an effort to get a sequel to Get Back. He didn’t want to helm it and thought my northern English roots made me the perfect choice to direct what is essentially a Morrissey biopic.

Has Morrissey Been Involved In This Project?

F*ck no! We wouldn’t let him anywhere near a Disney project. In fact we don’t even the rights to use any of his music, solo or with The Smiths. He refused. But to be honest, we kinds think that’s a good thing. Have you ever heard him? Jesus Christ, what a noise.

So You’re Not A Morrissey Fan?

Is anyone these days? Even if you were, you wouldn’t admit it. You’d be cancelled in seconds. But seriously, no I’m not. Just because I’m from that Manchester generation of creatives, doesn’t automatically make me a Morrissey disciple, all that warbling and jangling. Don’t hang the DJ, tell him to turn it up so we can’t hear any more from that insufferable bore.

How Close Have You Stuck To A True Story?

Oh, not all. We’ve really gone for ‘dramatic license’. Paddy is doing a marvelous job playing Morrissey as the tormented inventor of the British invasion to the States and Tom Hardy plays Johnny Marr like a cross between Keith Richards and George Best. It’s gonna be a real hatchet job. We’re gonna get sued by everyone, but thankfully it’s a Disney gig, so they can pay for lawyers.

Get Back 2 – Please F*ck Off Is Due For Release In Early 2022

PETER JACKSON WAKES UP AND REMEMBERS HE’S GOT A TINTIN FILM TO MAKE

WELLINGTON – Peter Jackson – director of King Kong, The Lovely Bones and the entire contents of JRR Tolkien’s head – awoke in a cold sweat with the realization he still has a Tintin movie to make.

Peter Jackson turned to his wife (Fran Walsh or Philippa Boyens I can never remember) and gasped. ‘Shit, I’ve just remembered I promised Steven Spielberg I’d direct the second Tintin film.’

Jackson told reporters:

My wife mumbled something like “Go back to sleep, you can do it in the morning.” To be honest I don’t think she was really awake. But I couldn’t go back to sleep. How was I going to find out what my deadline with Steven was without letting him know that I’d forgotten all about it.

Fortunately, Jackson’s muse and house boy Andy Serkis was awake in the garage. ‘It looked like he was trying to get out off a glass box, which confused me,’ said Jackson. ‘There isn’t a glass box in the garage. And then I realized, it was his physical theater that had created the illusion.’ 

Jackson explained his problem to Serkis and the Gollum star was already half into his motion capture suit.

Serkis said:

I must obey Peter. He has my children.

The two men started to work and by ten o’clock when Jackson’s wife finally emerged from her slumber, they had the first two acts in pre-visualized: ‘Only seven more to go,’ said a clearly relieved Jackson.

Tintin and the Something Something will be out in 2022.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT GAME OF THRONES

HOLLYWOOD – On the eve of the third season premier of Game of Thrones, let the amazing fact dragon Studio Exec breathe a fire of purifying non-fiction into your Hordor-shaped head, dispelling the enchantments of myth concerning the HBO masterpiece of televisual umphka-ba-rumph.

Let the Game of Thrones FACTS commence:

1 The Game of Thrones television series is an adaptation of Danish crime drama Spil af Troner which starred Mads Mikkelsen as a weary alcoholic police inspector, who was weary and alcoholic until a young girl is murdered and then he’s weary and alcoholic and searching for a killer in the white wastes of Northern Denmark.

2 The writer George R.R. Martin is the great grandson of J.R.R. Tolkien, but when an English gentleman has a baby with a dirty Yankie scullion maid (as Grandma Martin then was) offspring are legally allowed to keep only the middle initials. 

3 In adapting the books for the screen, writers changed many names to give the material a more realistic grittier feel. The Banstickitons were changed to the Lannisters; Biggus Dickus was changed to Little Finger and Portcullisarian Ephmayllindyoniousi was changed to Ned Stark. 

4 Peter Jackson has consistently embarrassed himself by publicly praising the use of forced perspective and motion capture to create Peter Dinklage’s character Tyrion Lannister, or the Imp. 

5 The dragons are all from Romania. Seventeen dragons are used in total even though there are only three dragon characters. This is due to Romania’s strict labor laws for mythical creatures, which means any one dragon can only work for four hours a day.

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

PETER JACKSON TO REMAKE THE NEVERENDING STORY

HOLLYWOOD – No sooner had the final battle cries of The Hobbit died out than Peter Jackson has embarked on another fantasy franchise: a remake of the 1984 Wolfgang Petersen film The NeverEnding Story.

The official synopsis reads:

Based on the Michael Ende novel, the film will tell the story of Bastian Bux (Elijah Wood), a young boy who is bullied at school and finds his only escape in books and in particular a book which transports him to a land called Fantasia ruled by a sick princess (Cate Blanchett) who lives in an ivory tower with no sense of irony.  She summons a young warrior called Atreyu (Orlando Bloom) to set and defeat the Nothing (George Lucas in his first major acting role) which threatens the land.

The Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson told the Studio Exec:

I am very excited to get away from Middle Earth if only for a little while. At first I was a bit cautious about returning to fantasy but I read the book and fell in love with it. I was already a fan of the film. Especially the Limahl song [sings] ‘NeverEnding Story, do-de-do-de-de-do-de-de-do!’

Yes. Good. Fantastic. STOP! Now, how will you approach the film? 

At first I thought it’s going to be impossible to slim down into one film. I wanted to do a simple 90 minute story. But then I realised, who am I kidding? The title is the clue. So we’re going to make fifteen films back-to-back and no one in New Zealand need never go hungry or on holiday again.

The NeverEnding Story Parts 1-16 will be released over the next twenty years. 

HIDDEN GEMS: 27. LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

Hidden Gems brings to light little known film gems which have somehow slipped through the collective cinematic consciousness. You’re welcome. This week Lord of the Rings.

JRR Tolkien’s mammoth fantasy novel Lord of the Rings has for a long time been considered unfilmable. Ralph Bakshi tried in 1978 but that was a cartoon and so doesn’t really count as a movie. John Boorman wanted to adapt the film but made Excalibur instead. Finally, at the end of the century Peter Jackson, a New Zealand filmmaker famous for gore fests like Bad Taste, decided the time had come. He gathered Ian McKellan, Elijah Wood, Sean Bean, Liv Tyler, Salah from Raiders, the guy who married the hot gal from Lost and Viggo Mortensen and together embarked on an epic adventure.

They would brave orcs, trolls and big spiders as they sought to return the ring of power to Mordor where they would destroy it.

‘One does not simply walk into Mordor’ a meme once said, and so it proved. Many problems beset the making of the film, but are now shrouded in mystery because mysteriously no interviews or behind the scene footage survives. Famously Andy Serkis’ Gollum character didn’t work at all and his performance was so poor, CGI was used for the first time to replace him. Similarly, Orlando Bloom’s Elf Legolas required digital enhancement to add vitality.

Only one ring to rule them all?

It is a miracle what came out is so good. Jackson grounds the fantasy in a realistic setting and uses his kinetic storytelling to push Tolkien’s tale on. He also manages to imbue it with some emotional content. Also, he does well to get rid of the songs. Though it is regrettable that Jeff Bridges as Tom Bombadil hit the cutting room floor, this moves the quest on at a clip. The special effects are amazing and the music by Howard Shore recalls a classical Hollywood orchestral score.

Unfortunately, Harvey Weinstein pulled the plug on the projected sequels. And so like the Bakshi cartoon the ending of the Fellowship of the Ring is an anti-climax. The road goes ever on apparently. There are reports that Jackson would like to complete the trilogy, but more recently he has renounced the whole idea of returning to Middle Earth, saying ‘Why would you need more than one film?’

For more Hidden Gems CLICK HERE.

PETER JACKSON TO FILM WARLOCK OF FIRETOP MOUNTAIN

NEW ZEALAND – TinTin and Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson announced he would be turning the Fighting fantasy book warlock of Firetop Mountain into a film.

Peter Jackson told the Studio Exec that he would adapt Warlock of Firetop Mountain, a role playing adventure book written by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingston.

In an EXCLUSIVE interview, he told the Exec:

When we were making Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit we had a ton of input from the fans. We encouraged this with our blogs and video shorts. But I always felt frustrated that we didn’t take it further. What would it be like if the fans themselves could decide the movie they were goign to see? Make the decisions instead of the characters? Or better still become the characters? Then I remembered all the Fighting Fantasy books I read in the 80s and the idea came to me.

How will the film differ from the book?

Not at all. There’ll be a scene and then when a crucial decision comes up, the audience will push buttons on the arms of their chairs and the majority will win and that’ll be the decision. Fight or run, left or right, open the box or have steamy sexy with the cave troll.

They’ll always…

… have sex with the cave troll. Yes, that is true. I should rethink that. Of course, the film will take longer to watch because of these pauses and when ever there’s a fight there will also be a lot of dice rolling.

So how long?

A day. We’re thinking a day.

Is this a new franchise then?

There are a bunch of Fighting Fantasy books by Ian Livingston and Steve Jackson so it really could be.

And I wanted to ask if TinTin is…

Bye.

The Warlock of Firetop Mountain will be released in 2018.

 

STEVEN SPIELBERG USES AIR QUOTES WHEN TALKING ABOUT INDIANA JONES 5

HOLLYWOOD – Steven Spielberg uses air quotes whenever talking about Indiana Jones 5, it was revealed today.

Jaws and Lincoln director Steven Spielberg always uses air quotes whenever discussing Indiana Jones 5. The revelation came from Spielberg’s close friend Dan Aykroyd.

It’s the weirdest thing. Whenever he talks about the next Indiana Jones film, he uses this quote gesture with his fingers. He said to me the other day that Indiana Jones would be “released” in 2019. He was “working” on the “script” and Harrison Ford was very “excited” about the “idea”.

So he might not actually want to make the film?

I asked him about it and he told me that when Peter Jackson talks to him about Tintin Jackson does the same thing. So he just picked it up as a useful habit.

What does George Lucas think?

George Lucas “thinks” we’re going to make the “Movie”.

Indiana Jones 5 will be released in “2019”.

ELIJAH WOOD TO STAR AS DANIEL RADCLIFFE IN BECOMING HARRY

HOLLYWOOD – Elijah Wood is to play Daniel Radcliffe in new movie.

A new movie documenting Daniel Radcliffe’s early career stars Elijah Wood. The Lord of the Rings star will write and direct the movie also. He spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec:

I’m majorly psyched about the role. Radcliffe is for all of us a pole star. He’s the actor by which all us other child actors take our bearings. Like the pole star. I’ve just said that, haven’t I?

What’s the movie about?

The film charts the rise of Radcliffe. The struggles he had to overcome in order to achieve greatness. The main difficulty will be making me into a small child again, but we’re using Hobbit technology, forced perspective and all that, so we’ll be okay. The hope is that the movie will come off and then we can follow his journey, finishing with the triumph of Imperium.

Becoming Harry will be released in August.

HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 3 CONFIRMED

HOLLYWOOD – Lionsgate announce that there will now be a The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 will be followed by a further film, tentatively titled The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 3.

Just as fans were preparing for the final installment of the Hunger Games franchise it has been decided to further divide the final book into another part – The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 3. Director Francis Lawrence dropped by the Studio Exec Bungalow to explain the studio’s thinking.

The signs for Mockingjay Part 2 are really good. We’re going to make a lot of money and get a lot of people going to see the film which is excellent. But the thing is as it stands this is the final film and so, once we’ve done it, then all of a sudden, no more money, no more movies. We realized if we cut the last thirty minutes of the new film and then add another hour of stuff we’ll have part three of Mockingjay and another smash hit release on our hands.

But what is the new material going to be based on?

When we did the first few films, we left out some stuff. We short changed page 19 of the first book. So this way we can go back and fill in all those gaps. Jennifer Lawrence filmed a lot of stuff we cut out as well. So, that can all go back in, bits where she started laughing or got the line wrong. We’re also getting a lot of material from the appendices.

The appendices?

Yeah, it’s what Peter Jackson told me to say. The appendices.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 3 will be released in December, 2022.

MOVIE INDUSTRY TRUSTS FUTURE TO MAN WHO DESTROYED MUSIC INDUSTRY

HOLLYWOOD – The movie industry has called on the man who destroyed the music industry to help them ensure the future of the movie industry.

Sean Parker, the man behind Napster, Spotify and the boom in music file sharing and the collapse of the music industry, has now decided to turn his attention to the movies, with his new concept of Screening Room in which people would be able to rent a movie on the day of its cinematic release for $48. Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson and Ron Howard have already come out in support of the planned widening of distribution methods stating clearly that ‘we don’t like going to the cinema anymore’.

Peter Jackson told the Studio Exec:

Think about it. We go to the cinema and there are queues, it’s smelly and the seats are uncomfortable. This way for the mere price of $48 you can watch the same film on the day of release. $48! The price of a small glass of milk. Actually, I’ll need to fact check that. I haven’t bought milk since the 1970s. I don’t like it.

However, some in the industry are not so enthusiastic, including Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino who believes that films should only be shown via magic lantern shows.

I want to recapture the true beauty of when I used to go to the cinema some time at the turn of the century.

What do you think of Screening Room? Use the comment box below. Actually I don’t really care. But you know… feel free.

LIMAHL KEEN ON NEVERENDING STORY REMAKE

WELLINGTON – The Peter Jackson remake of The Neverending Story has gained a new fan already in ‘pop singer’ Limahl.

Former singer in 80s group Kajagoogoo, Limahl sang the original theme song to Wolfgang Petersen’s 1984 fantasy film The Neverending Story and is set to return to the new version to be directed by Lord of the Rings director, Peter Jackson.

Dropping by the Studio Exec Hobbit hole, Limahl looks exactly as he did in the mid-eighties when he was at the height of his fame. He spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec about the prospect of revisiting the song that became a worldwide chart-topper.

It’s going to be a hell of a year for me. First we have the announcement that Gary Oldman is going to make a film about the rise and fall of my old band. And now Peter Jackson – the director of Bad Taste and The Lovely Bones – is remaking The Neverending Story. When my agent told me, I said ‘Carol, clear my calendar, cancel everything’ and she did it immediately.

So Peter Jackson called you to do the song? 

Peter Jackson is not going to be that obvious. First we have to do that silly little dance, but of course, I’ll do the song for them. We’ll probably have an argument about the drum and bass back beat they want to put on it but my vocal will still soar above everything.

Will you have a cameo in the film?

It’s my understanding that Andy Serkis is playing pretty much everybody using motion capture, but that might have just been a bad joke on Carol’s part. She does like to tease.

And finally is there any chance that Kajagoogoo will get together?

Well, it’s been no secret that for years I’ve wanted to do something with the guys, but I’ve also been battling with Social Anxiety Disorder.

You mean you’re...

Too shy, hush hush, eye to eye.

The Neverending Story will be 12 films.

 

PETER JACKSON TO REBOOT LORD OF THE RINGS

HOBBITON – Following the universally despised The Hobbit Trilogy, Peter Jackson reveals he is to return once more to Middle Earth to realize his dream project: a complete reboot of The Lord of the Rings.

If you thought you’d seen the last of Middle Earth, think again as Peter Jackson is currently preparing a remake of his own trilogy.

The Lovely Bones director swung round the Studio Exec Hobbit Hole to speak EXCLUSIVELY about the project:

I was finishing up the last effects shots of The Hobbit and we’d been in discussions about what to do next. Fran reminded me of the Tin Tin film, but frankly I haven’t heard from Steven since 2013, so I think we’ve both decided to write that one off. Then it came to me why not go back to the Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring.

A remake?

Yes. I’m very proud of those films, but re-watching them I realize there’s so much that I had to leave out.

Like Tom Bombadil?

Exactly like Tom Bombadil. There’s a whole musical number to be done there. Look at the start of The Hobbit. We kept the music in that film and I think everyone can see that it really worked. Not to mention the fact that there’s a whole generation who have yet to see them. And who wants to see an old man like Orlando Bloom when we can get Andrew Garfield in. We can show these films 25,000 frames per second and in 3D IMAX.

Will there be any significant changes?

As I say the originals do hold up, but I’m going to divide them into three films each, because there’s a lot of material in the appendices. And who doesn’t love appendices?

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship will be released in 2018 with Lord of the Rings: Of the Ring due in 2019. 

PETER JACKSON ADMITS THE HOBBIT WAS SH*T

WELLINGTON – Peter Jackson just admitted that The Hobbit films were absolutely sh*t.

In a revealing DVD extra documentary Peter Jackson comes clean about making of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug and The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies. An obviously emotional Jackson speaks candidly about the process of making the Tolkien trilogy:

When Guillermo del Toro dropped out of The Hobbit, I had to step and I didn’t have the time to prepare for the shoot that I had had for Lord of the Rings. We had a three year pre-production on Lord of the Rings and here I was straight in to shooting 21 hour days and trying to catch up on everything as I went along and I have to say I was winging it. I mean the reason we ended up doing three movies was essentially because I need time to think, so it was like when you don’t know what to say next so you just go erm erm erm erm erm until something pops into your head. Desolation of Smaug was my erm.

But come on Peter the films were well liked. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.

The films weren’t liked. Even the people who liked them didn’t really like them. It was like a form of self-hypnosis. The critics saw through them pretty well. And I rewatched them all recently and I have to say, they are all sh*t.

That’s very strong.

Not just sh*t, they’re unwatchable garbage marathons. Festering piles of digitally manipulated cat turd, laced with tedious word blancmanges in a CGI universe of stunning mediocrity. It’s drivel, appalling, filth, vomit and dribble. Abhorrent, boring, dumb, fantasy ass wash.

But…

Steaming great piles of undigested Tolkien farts. Complete and utter bollocks.

The frame rate…

F*ck the frame rate. It just made the moronic, inept, dreadful, hopeless, violent stupidity all the more clear for everyone to see. Oh but it was bad. Oh so so bad.

Peter Jackson’s Silmarillion: The Unexpected First Age will be released in 2019.