PETER CAPALDI: ‘I HAVE FIVE NIPPLES’

LONDON – Doctor Who actor Peter Capaldi has confessed to having five nipples.

Speaking to French cultural magazine Chapeau, Peter Capaldi revealed that he has five nipples.

I first noticed as a child that I had these extra nipples. It was the strangest thing. Most people have two nipples, but I had these three more. They run across my chest. I have to say it gets quite crowded in there. I’m not saying it’s an affliction or anything like that. I mean, when I was young I would worry that it might put off the ladies. But it turns out it’s a real turn on. The more nipples, the merrier, one lassie said. The other advantage is that when I went for auditions I always had an interesting story. All I needed to do was take my shirt off and suddenly I was standing out from the crowd.

Does milk come out of them?

No. No they’re just like ordinary male nipples. This isn’t actually as rare a condition as you might think. The Supernumerary Nipple Association boasts over over five thousand members world wide both men and women. We need to get rid of the shame and have us over-nippled come out of the bloody shadows. Here we are. So what if we have more tits than most?

Capaldi plays the titular time lord in the popular BBC sci-fi series Doctor Who.

The Doctor Who Christmas Special will be shown at Christmas.

DOWNEY JR. AND CUMBERBATCH IN SHERLOCK XMAS SPECIAL

LONDON – Robert Downey Jr and Benedict Cumberbatch will co-star in a Xmas Special edition of Sherlock for the BBC, written by Steven Moffat and directed by Guy Ritchie.

Writer Moffat told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about the idea of getting Cumberbatch and Downey Jr together:

We’re absolutely stoked about this opportunity. Benedict Cumberbatch and Robert Downey Jr. have given audiences an amazing pair of Sherlocks, entirely different, but entirely convincing and to see them together in an adventure is almost too exciting for words. My cerebral and witty script will be complemented by Mr. Guy Ritchie’s high octane, and slightly nonsensical action direction.

How will you explain the presence of two Sherlocks in the same world?

That’s relatively easy. It’s no secret that I also have had a hand in the new Doctor Who. Well, I’ve decided to move both the Sherlocks into the Doctor Who universe. In fact, there is a reveal that explains how it is that Sherlocks are so clever. What I’m saying is what if the Sherlocks actually had access to a machine that allowed them to travel in time and were also able to regenerate.

Sherlock Holmes is a Time Lord?

Not only a Time Lord. Why not THE Time Lord?

Doctor Sherlock Holmes will be broadcast on Christmas Day.