BREAKFAST WITH ASSHOLES: 19. GWYNETH PALTROW

A glass of sand and a corner of damp cotton, served lukewarm. 

I meet Iron Man 3 star and cookie cookbook writer Gwyneth Paltrow at her London home. She answers the door with a cardboard box on her head. ‘Get it?’ she giggles at my no doubt baffled expression. ‘I’m in Seven! Ha ha ha!’


I laugh warmly and , some might say, too loudly.

We settled down in the back kitchen with the beautiful London rain light falling through the tall French windows and turning everything a beautiful shade of posthumous. She offers me a delicious bowl of damp cotton and a glass of freshly squeezed sand.

So Gwyneth tell me about Iron Man 3? Was it fun working with Robert Downey Jr.?

To tell you the truth, I really don’t want to answer any questions about my private life and how I’ve suffered, not exactly like Jesus Christ nailed to a cross, or little children blinded in Bhopal, or starving in the Sudan, but, you know, close.

Right. So Iron Man 3. When can we expect a stand alone Pepper Potts movie? 

I made it very clear to Shane [Black] that I didn’t want to just be tied up and rescued on this one. I wanted to be a protagonist. A strong female role model. And he said okay. How about we tie you up and have you be rescued in your underwear? It was at that point I knew I was in safe hands. As for the stand alone movie it’s the first I heard about it [was when I read your wonderful article in the fabulous Studio Exec]. (CLICK HERE for that story.)

You’ve come in for quite a bit of criticism…

Let me stop you right there. I know exactly what you are going to say. My diets are not crazy and my children, Kiwi Fruit and Elijah Bumpkins, are perfectly normal.  

I was going to say for not being a very good actress.

Oh … well, that’s fair I suppose. Can I top you up there?

Gwyneth’s husbands

I move to put my hand over the glass but Gwyneth has already refilled it with white sand. ‘I insist on white sand and not yellow sand because of Elijah’s allergies,’ she tells me. ‘People criticize me for being too strict but my children – like all children – still eat the occasional bowl of gold flake caviar.’

And so what’s next?

I’m in a new film about Pablo Picasso. And I’m probably going to have another cook book out soon. Oh, and I’m still married to Coldplay.

To Chris Martin from Coldplay?

Yeah he’s one of them. And there’s a small film I did about sex addiction also coming out. Thanks for Sharing is the title I think.

When I say good bye to Gwyneth, I feel like I’ve learned a lot about this complex and intelligent woman, but I did wish she had taken that box off and I couldn’t shake the impression  that her voice had been very manly.

For all the Breakfasts CLICK HERE.


GWYNETH PALTROW GETS STAND ALONE AVENGERS MOVIE: PEPPER POTTS

HOLLYWOOD – The Avengers stable is fairly full with stand alone sequels to Thor and Captain America already in the pipeline, as well as Iron Man 3 and a re-imagined Hulk. But move over because an overlooked character from the franchise is due to get her own movie: Pepper Potts.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s character has so far appeared in the two Iron Man movies and the Joss Whedon movie The Avengers, but at first glance appears an unlikely character to sustain an entire feature by herself. Paltrow shakes her head vigorously as she rips into a kebab.

‘No, no, you see that’s where you are wrong,’ said the Head in the Box. ‘So far we’ve only really seen Pepper bring Tony Stark coffee and be his secretary that he flirts with and occasionally get captured to give him something to do in the last act, but this movie will be an opportunity to explore how she makes the coffee, what kind of software she is using, does she have a cat? All those questions will be answered.’

Industry observer, Ellie Parkins said that what is really behind this is a gesture to another actress who had apparently asked for a raise. ‘This is just one big fuck you to Scarlett Johansson,’ says Parkins. ‘Marvel always do this, but who knows, Pepper Potts might not be a complete crock, maybe.’

Pepper Potts is due out sometime in 2016.