GOD TELLS MARK WAHLBERG HE WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN

HOLLYWOOD – Mark Wahlberg asked God to forgive him for his role in Boogie Nights, but didn’t get the response he expected.

The Hollywood Reporter reports that: “Mark Wahlberg says he hopes God will forgive him for his turn as a porn star in the 1997 filmBoogie Nights. Wahlberg told the Chicago Tribune ahead of an event with Chicago Cardinal Blase Cupich on Friday that he hopes “that God is a movie fan and also forgiving” because he says he’s made “some poor choices” in the past. Wahlberg listed Boogie Nights when asked if he’s prayed for forgiveness for any of his movies.”

Boogie Nights follows the career of Dirk Diggler (Wahlberg) through the porn industry in the seventies and eighties. Paul Thomas Anderson directed and many consider the film a high point in Wahlberg’s career.

God speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec gave a prompt response:

Boogie Nights is the best thing Wahlberg ever did. Not only do I forgive him for it, I think it was great. I cannot say the same of the Planet of the Apes remake. I’m I afraid he’s going to Hell for a very long time. And by a long time, I mean forever.

What about The Happening?

Oh my Son! I’d forgotten about that.

You’re God. How can you have forgotten about The Happening?

It’s one of the benefits of omnipotence. And still it took all my strength.

Pain and Gain 2 is out in 2019.

PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON AND DANIEL DAY LEWIS TO REMAKE NINE

HOLLYWOOD – There Will Be Blood team Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Day Lewis are to reunite in order to remake Rob Marshall’s 2009 musical.

The Oscar winning team that brought you one of the finest films of the millennium There Will Be Blood are once more together. Paul Thomas Anderson (often known as PT Anderson) and Daniel Day Lewis (never known as DD Lewis) are once more to make a film together.

We spoke to DD Lewis EXCLUSIVELY:

As you know Exec, it takes me a long time to choose a project and often what attracts me to the work is a combination of the material and the character and the people involved. I want to work with Spielberg and Scorsese, and PT Anderson as well fits into that.

Paul Thomas Anderson described the process of the collaboration:

We’ve been looking to make something else for a good long while after we finished There Will Be Blood, but Daniel was very clear that he had a legacy to protect. The one brown smear on what otherwise is a pretty impeccable filmography was the musical Nine which he made with Ron Marshall.

Lewis continues:

Nine was supposed to show a certain range. I wanted to be surrounded by beauty, beautiful women, style and locations. But in the end the film was a mess and the music wasn’t particularly good. It stands out like a sore thumb. So when I talked to PT about what I really wanted to do, I said I wanted to go back and do the film again but better. Get it right this time.

Paul Thomas Anderson:

I totally saw this as a challenge. Watching the film, it’s just so difficult to see how it can be rescued. It’s so superficial and glossy, but in a sense I’ve always been interested in getting under that surface and seeing how it works. I’m rewriting the script, we’re having new songs by Radiohead and Daniel is going to take on his character from a slightly new angle.

And the new angle? Daniel Day Lewis smiles:

A serial killer.

Nine: 2.0 will be released in 2018.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT PAUL DANO

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec Fact Squad has been tasked with finding 5 FACTS about Paul Dano (actor).

We all know that Paul Dano is an actor who consistently has pretended to be other people but what are the FACTS.

One. In Little Miss Sunshine Paul Dano’s character was initially a chatter box who would not stop talking, but when Dano turned up to the set, direcetors Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris were dismayed to find that Dano had learned none of his lines so they quickly rewrote his part to make him a suicidal teenager who had given up speaking.

Two. When Dano signed on to play Eli in Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood, he knew that he would have to bring his A game, performing many scenes opposite Daniel Day Lewis. The two actors didn’t get on, with Day Lewis demanding that he get to drink Dano’s milkshake whenever he wanted one. On the last day of shooting however Dano got his own back, having persuaded Day Lewis that the film’s title was a reference to the menstrual cycle, the famously dedicated Irish actor turned up to the set dressed as a massive tampon.

Three. Although he always wanted to be an actor, Dano comes from a long line of industrial chemists. His great grandfather Thomas C. Drano made a fortune in the business by inventing an industrial solvent which was named after him. This caused the young Paul so much embarrassment that when a poster writer on his debut movie The Newcomers misspelled his name, he gratefully accepted the amendment.

Four. Paul Dano’s latest film Youth sees him work with Italian director Paolo Sorrentino. Although he doesn’t speak any Italian, Dano apparently tried to speak to the director by simply adding vowels to the end of English words. ‘At first everyone thought he was joking,’ said Dano’s co-star Michael Caine. ‘But then he turned up to the set dressed as Hitler. Luckily Paolo is a gentleman and an artist and he found a way of incorporating Paul’s idiosyncrasies into the movie.’

  Five. Although primarily an actor, Paul Dano is also a devotee of the Jazz Dance Movement, an extremist art group which see Jazz Dancing as not just a form of healthy recreation, but also as a mode of transport. Paul Dano told GQ last month: ‘Whenever I want to get somewhere really fast, I just Jazz Dance. I don’t even need music. I scat sing at the top of my voice and Jazz Dance down the street in the direction I want to go. I’ve even got to places faster than people who have gone ahead of me in cars. Jazz Dance I believe to be the way of the future, also because it is kind to the environment.’

For more FACTS click here.

POMPEII RECEIVES RECORD NUMBER OF OSCAR NOMINATIONS

HOLLYWOOD – As predicted Paul Thomas Anderson’s gladiator/disaster movie, Pompeii, is dominating the Oscars nominations with over thirty nods.

Read the Oscar nominations in full below.

Best picture

Pompeii

A Million Ways to Die in the West

Pompeii

Dumb and Dumber To

Pompeii

Left Behind

Pompeii

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Pompeii

Best director

 Paul Thomas Anderson – Pompeii

Seth MacFarlane – A Million Ways to Die in the West

Paul Thomas Anderson – Pompeii

Wes Anderson – The Grand Budapest Hotel

Vic Armstrong – Left Behind

Best actor

Kit Harrington – Pompeii

Matthew McConaughey – That advert with Scarlett Johansson

Nicolas Cage – Anything he was in this year

Bradley Cooper – American Hangover Part Four

Kit Harrington – Pompeii

Best actress

Emily Browning – Pompeii

Charlize Theron – A Million Ways to Die in the West

Emily Blunt  – Edge of Tomorrow

Scarlett Johansson – That advert with Matthew McConaughey

Best supporting actor

Kiefer Sutherland – Pompeii

Jared Harris – Pompeii

Liam Neeson – A Million Ways to Die in the West

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje – Pompeii

Best supporting actress

Carrie-Anne Moss  – Pompeii

Jessica Lucas – Pompeii

Keira Knightley – Pompeii

Rebacca Eady – Pompeii

Meryl Streep – Pompeii

Best original screenplay

Alejandro G. Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Jr. & Armando Bo – Pompeii

Richard Linklater – A Million Ways to Die in the West

Max Frye and Dan Futterman –Dumb and Dumber To

Wes Anderson & Hugo Guinness – The Grand Budapest Hotel

Best adapted screenplay

Jason Hall – Pompeii

Graham Moore – The Imitation Game

Paul Thomas Anderson – Inherent Vice

Anthony McCarten – The Theory of Everything

Damien Chazelle – Whiplash

Best foreign film

Pompeii (Italian Version)

Pompeii (German Version)

Pompeii (Canadian Version)

Pompeii (Japanese Version)

Pompeii (UK Version)

Best documentary

The Making of Pompeii

Pompeii: The Science Behind the Film

Pompeii: an Intimate Look

Where’s Pompeii?

I’m in Pompeii! Get me Out of Here!

Best animation

Pompeii: the Ainmated Movie

Pompeii: the Cartoon

Pompeii 2: Simba’s Pride

Anything else EXCEPT the Lego Movie

Best original song

Everything is NOT F*CKING Awesome – The Lego Movie

Disco Inferno – Pompeii

Burn Hollywod Burn – Pompeii

Thunderball – Pompeii

Light My Fire – Pompeii

POMPEII SNUBBED AT GOLDEN GLOBES

HOLLYWOOD – Paul Thomas Anderson might have scored hits with There Will Be Blood and Magnolia but his latest film Pompeii was roundly snubbed by the Golden Globes where it failed to pick up a single award.

The washout will undoubtedly dent its current status as an Oscar front-runner (Click Here for more on that story), calling into question the widely heard rumor that it might take home a record breaking 14 Oscars, beating Peter Jackson’s slightly inferior Return of the King.

Awards commentator Dulex DeBrav spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

There are certain awards that I think Pompeii missed out on because of the peculiar category divisions in the Globes. For instance, Kit Harrington didn’t even get a nomination, perhaps because the category is divided between Best Actor (Drama) and Best Actor (Comedy or a Musical). Now is Pompeii a drama, or a comedy? It really depends on where you’re sitting. And perhaps more importantly, is Kit Harrington really an actor? I don’t know.

You know nuthin, Jon Snow.

Yeah, that’s f*cking hilarious.

Sorry.

Also you have to realize that these awards ceremonies are intensely political and you have to canvas. But with Paul Thomas Anderson working so hard he also directed Inherent Vice this year, there’s a case for saying he might have dropped the ball and neglected to do the schmoozing that I’m afraid is necessary.

Pompeii wasn’t the only upset. A Million Ways to Die in the West failed to glean anything and The Interview despite a staunch internet campaign by North Korea to bring the movie to the attention of voters also left empty handed. George Clooney produced gasps in his acceptance speech for the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award, when he failed to announce his candidacy for the US Presidential elections, making it the seventh year in a row in which he has omitted to do so.

The Golden Globes will be back again in 2016.

INHERENT VICE: REVIEW

INHERENT VICE: REVIEW – Paul Thompson Anderson remakes the Big Lebowski, but without the wit.

First things first: Paul Thomas Anderson is one of those directors who – any movie of his I’m watching, that becomes my favorite movie, his Alien Vs Predator movies aside, which are bafflingly poor.  Magnolia is a masterpiece; Boogie Nights, a masterpiece; There Will Be Blood, obviously a masterpiece; Punch Drunk Love, a small quirky masterpiece and The Master is so much a masterpiece he even put half the word in the title. So what the f*ck is Inherent Vice?

Oh, and an addendum to that, I also love Thomas Pynchon and think V is a masterpiece; Gravity’s Rainbow is a masterpiece… okay? Yeah, you follow me. So again what the f*ck is Inherent Vice?

It’s not bad, it looks handsome and sounds fantastic, the performances are all good, Wacky Phoenix a likable comic lead. And PTA does TP justice, but that might just be the problem. Pynchon’s dialogue in the novel is a gag filled delight, taking from Chandler both plot and raison d’etre and giving us Marlowe played by Elliot Gould via the ‘Dude’ Lebowski, with Wolverine’s sideburns. But in PTA’s adaptation, the scenes are simply too long and too similar; one feels he’s too in love with his source material. More bothered about being true to it than creating a good movie.

At the behest of an ex-girlfriend Shasta (Katherine Waterson), private investigator ‘Doc’ Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix) investigates a pair of linked disappearances. Doing so, Doc comes across a parade of semi-crazy characters from a hopped up dentist (Martin Short) to a flat top cop called Bigfoot (Josh Brolin). The lugubrious narration is given by a beach babe astrologer Sortilège (Joanna Newsom) not so much to clear up the intentionally complicated plot, but to read out chunks of the novel. Pynchon’s prose is good, cinematic even, but it does not need to be here. Just as his wise-cracking dialogue crackles on the page but burns up way too much screen time. What should be snappy comes across as gassy. And people tells us too much that sounds more interesting than what we are seeing. A dentist dies in weird vampiric trampoline accident? Let’s see it.

Again Inherent Vice is not bad. It’s just – and it pains me to say it – not a masterpiece.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

 

NEW WOLVERINE TRAILER SIGNALS DEPARTURE

HOLLYWOOD – Trailer for Paul Thomas Anderson’s new film Wolverine: Inherent Vice signals a departure for the X-Men spin off.

Hopefully the film which is set to debut at the New York Film Festival will be a vast improvement on the increasingly tedious slap dashery we’ve had to put up with so far. Joaquin Phoenix replaces Hugh Jackman in the title role, as the Oz star declared himself ‘hacked off with the claws and shit’.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUZgOQ186-A…

 

ALIEN VS PREDATOR VS PROMETHEUS IS GO

HOLLYWOOD – Paul W.S. Anderson (who recently was revealed to be the same person as Paul Thomas Anderson, CLICK HERE) has confirmed that his next film will be Alien Vs. Predator Vs. Prometheus:

Speaking with the Studio Exec, Anderson said the follow up to Prometheus will be ‘like one big xenomorph tag team.’

Anderson is obviously enthused at the prospect of AVP(VP) and says the script is already finished and filming is ready to begin. 

I basically knocked it out in an afternoon. Funny thing is I rang Damon Lindeloff to boast and he told me Prometheus has taken less time to write than it took to watch. Like I’m sitting at the feet of the master. Hey, Master, The Master, get it?


The film will take place in the same universe as the Alien and Predator franchises and will also involve ‘Engineers’ and a really stupid bunch of humans.

That was the brilliance of Prometheus. Usually if you’re writing characters who I supposed to be really brainy it’s really difficult, but Damon made the scientists dumb asses, that was almost like the “autobiographical” element.

Alien Vs. Predator Vs. Prometheus will be released in October 2016 and will star various wives.

JOHN C. REILLY CONFESSES TERROR OF BEDS

HOLLYWOOD – Character actor and long time Paul Thomas Anderson collaborator, John C. Reilly admitted today that he suffers from an almost pathological fear of beds.

‘I don’t know what it is about them,’ the forty nine year old actor said. 

Maybe, it’s the way they’re always in bedrooms. I mean that in itself is creepy. And then they just lie their waiting for you to lie on them. I mean think about it. We sleep on these things. Sleep on them! All night. And yet we know next to nothing about the darned things.

Reilly explained that he uses a hammock most nights.

A hammock is honest and sturdy. Sailors sleep on hammocks so you know you’re in safe hands. When we’re filming on location I have this hammock that usually I can set up in the hotel room, but if I can’t, if the hotel room is too small, or something, then I get them to take the bed out and I sleep on the floor. 

The Magnolia and Will Ferrell co-star denied that the fear had anything to do with his childhood where he grew up over his father’s furniture store Beds Beds Beds Beds Beds, which later burned to the ground in a mysterious fire caused probably by a child. 

I actually think when you consider the facts, that perhaps I’m the sane one to have a quite reasonable distrust of these pillow laden fiends.  

John C. Reilly will be appearing in The Lobster due out in 2015. 

ENDER’S HUNGER GAMES OF THRONES ANNOUNCED

HOLLYWOOD – In what is sure to be a massively popular move, Paul W.S. Anderson director of such classics as Aliens Vs. Predators, Resident Evil and The Master has announced his next project: an Ender’s Game, Hunger Games, Game of Thrones mash-up to be entitled Ender’s Hunger Games of Thrones.

Anderson commented:

I am a huge fan of all these films, books TV shows … erm, products? Anyway, I always wondered what would happen if you take these things and put them all together. Can you imagine all the money, I mean the possibilities to such an idea.

The official synopsis reads:

Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence, or someone who looks a bit like her) having won another Hunger Game and got bored is recruited by Colonel Hyrum Graff (Harrison Ford, or Michael Ironside) to become part of a child army defending the world from the White Walkers who threaten to attack from beyond the Wall. Here she meets Ender Wiggin (Asa Buttefield) and Danaerys Tagaryan (Emilia Clarke). After some unnecessary doggy fashion sex (add joke about a real Ender’s Game) during which plot points are made clear, the three are sent into battle only to find that Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) has stolen all the vowels from their names. Can Ktnss Vrdn, Ndr Wggn and Dnrys Tgryn find him and restore their vowels or must the world be saved by a bunch ridiculous sounding cnts?

Ender’s Hunger Games of Thrones will be out just as soon as it can be.

INHERENT VICE: ON-SET PHOTOS

LOS ANGELES – Paul Thomas Anderson‘s follow up to The Master is no easy job, an adaptation of post-modernist novelist Thomas Pynchon’s psychedelic private eye comedy Inherent Vice.

The film has been shrouded in mystery but the Studio Exec can exclusively reveal on set photos from the production which stars Joaquin Phoenix, Jena Malone, Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Owen Wilson, Reese Witherspoon and Martin Short. 

The images excitingly reveal a long 400 mile dolly shot set up, something which fans of PTA’s work will surely recognise as the birthing place of a trademark bravura shot. 

Next we have what looks like a ‘ladder’. This is a technical piece of equipment, often employed by set designers and people who generally want to get higher and gain altitude without waiting to grow the required inches. 



Another photograph from the set reveals a shocking incidence of carelessness on the part of the ‘gaffer’ who has left his light meter and tool box just lying around. Paul Thomas Anderson will not be happy about that. It is well known he runs a tight ship which has led to him being nicknamed by all gaffers ‘the shit’.

 

Finally, a remarkable photograph shows the lighter side of production: a cup of tea, left to cool, milk, two sugars. This is no doubt Joaquin Phoenix’s tea – the peculiar shade comes from the fact Joaquin takes soya milk rather than regular because he is what scientists call a ‘vegan’. 




Inherent Vice will be released sometime in 2014.

PAUL W.S. ANDERSON ARRESTED

HOLLYWOOD . Late last night the LAPD were called to the residence of Paul Thomas Anderson, director of the recent opus The Master.

Anderson told them he was in his kitchen getting a glass of wine when he saw a “googly-eyed psycho” staring at him through the window over his sink. He ran outside and was able to hold down the lanky peeping tom. “He didn’t put up much of a fight, for a moment I believe he was trying to hug me,” said Anderson. When police arrived on the scene the man was quickly identified as Paul W.S. Anderson, director of “those cool Resident Evil movies”. P.T. Anderson was not familiar with his work.

Witnesses say, as the police cuffed P.W.S.A., he kept screaming “I want to be wanted!” After getting the irate ‘film-maker’ into the back of their squad car, officers searched his tan 1968 Volkswagen Beetle and found a portable DVD player and P.T. Anderson’s entire filmography. The car was recognized by a local prostitute. She directed them to an old apartment building on the other side of town.
Police were shocked at what they found inside. Making their way through the apartment as Foreigner’s ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’ blared on the stereo, they found what can only be described as a shrine to Paul Thomas Anderson: photos lined the walls, posters for his films, all linked with a spider’s web of red wool. A list of the 2013 Academy Award nominees for Best Director was taped to the wall and under it, written in red fluid ‘DEATH TO THE ACADEMY’. His bathroom contained a large aquarium filled with bullfrogs and a collection of Fiona Apple records. The scenes became more disturbing as the LAPD reached the small kitchen: around the dinner table were mannequins dressed as Dirk Diggler, Daniel Plainview, and Frank T.J. Mackey. The most shocking item was found in the hall closet: a full P.T. Anderson ‘suit’ stitched together with pieces of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s excess skin.
Wife of P.W.S.A and star of the Resident Evil films, Milla Jovovich, was very emotional as she left the Los Angeles Detention Center, she said very little: “I didn’t know about this apartment. He told me he was in meetings about the next Resident Evil film. This has to pass, how will I work?”
P.T.A. left the final comment that at least this scotched the rumours that he and Paul W.S. Anderson were in fact the same person.

For more on that story CLICK HERE.

XAVIER POULIS WRITES: SANDLER THE GENIUS

Xavier Poulis

Je suis Xavier Poulis. I am the leading Swiss expert on film, cinema, the movies, motion pictures and … No that’s it. I have been asked by my fat friend (let us not lie, he is fat) Le Studio Exec, to write un petit column, which is ironic you see because my brother-in-law, Francios Coulte, he has a very petit column. In Chapeau the leading French Cultural magazine, for which I have also written pieces. I agreed ‘instantly’, as my Italian friends say (they all speak excellent English), but on one condition. My first bit must be rebuttal of his foul calumnies against the only true American film maker who can be regarded a genius: Adam Le Sandler.

Sandler has been much maligned by the fascistic strictures of a liberal society brainwashed into wanting to enjoy films and find them amusing, perhaps with a leading man who is ‘talented’ and ‘likeable’ or at the least not a complete ‘sperm face’. However, Le Sandler is beyond such a petty considerations. He is Avant Garde. So avant garde you’ll have to turn around to see him. Ha [ha] ha. Le joke.

In my course, at the University of Geneva, I have a module dedicated to Adam Sandler entitled: ‘Not Supposed to Be Funny’. In it I argue that Sandler is thrusting an ontological verity about the nature of US life.  The Wedding Singer deconstructs notions of romance and savagely Drew Barrymores us as well. Jack and Jill is an explication of the rudimentary dichotomy of gender roles; Anger Management a tearing apart of the psychiatric industry and The Waterboy a genuine cry for help: alas unheeded by everyone but a lone Swiss academic who instantly set off at a good pace but was stopped at the border (ironically I was von Trapped). Paul Thomas Anderson’s [Master]ful Punch Drunk Love is the index by which all his other films can be understood, showing the deep sadness lodged like shrapnel in Sandler’s non existent soul. I beg of you watch his Ouvre once more. Reconsider it in the light of my blazing intellect. Except for Little Nicky. Which is genuinely and unironically an unwiped orifice.