PAUL MCCARTNEY STANDS IN FOR JOHNNY DEPP

HOLLYWOOD – Former Beatle Paul McCartney has replaced Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Pirates of the Caribbean adds Paul McCartney as captain Jack Sparrow in the latest instalment of the hit Pirate franchise. The leader of the Frog Chorus told Studio Exec:

Oh aye lar! It were sound! Me mate Johnny Depp called me up and said he was feeling a bit under the weather and would I come in and take his place. I said, ‘Yer what?’ And he said, ‘You know do a bit of acting like, for me’. I said ‘Fab!’

When did he call you?

Yesterday.

Would you like to do more acting?

I acted in the Beatles films obvs. And I did a cameo in Live and Let Die but it got cut because they said it was offensive. I dreamed of being an actor when I was a tyke. I don’t want to be known for just silly little love songs.

Did they change the script for you?

Yeah. Politics still interests me. Although the film needs to entertain the audience, it can also make people think.

About what?

Racism for one. I can’t believe racism still exists in 2017. I said to Kanye and Rihanna ‘It does me head in racism!’ They said I was right.

So how does that enter into the film?

 Captain Jack Sparrow is hunting for the grand piano of tolerance where the keys – the black and white keys, it’s a metaphor – live together in harmony. Once Jack has the piano, he’ll play a concert and stop all wars.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Pipes of Peace will be released in 2018.

 

FIRST IMAGE OF AXL ROSE IN STAR WARS MUSICAL: MAX REBO LIVE

HOLLYWOOD – The first image from stand-alone Star Wars musical Max Rebo Live features Guns n Roses singer Axl Rose, rocking with the band.

After The Force Awakens and Rogue One comes the first Star Wars musical Max Rebo Live, starring Axl Rose and Bono. Director Martin Scorsese talked about the project.

I’ve resisted for a long time the whole Star Wars thing. Frankly Science Fiction is not a genre that I’m that interested in, but when Disney approached me about doing a concert film for the Max Rebo band in Jabba the Hutt’s court, all I heard was the words ‘concert film’.

What’s the story Marty?

First off, there really isn’t a story. I mean this is Star Wars so who gives a shit, am I right? We’re just going to have a load of rock and roll legends perform science fiction versions of their top hits and I’m going to film the whole thing with about seven cameras and hope some sort of narrative comes out in the editing room.

With the Terrence Malick and Kevin James Star Wars films coming up, are you worried that there might be too many?

Not at all. We offer something very different. In the Seventies Terry was making Days of Heaven and I was making Mean Streets and Taxi Driver. But now we’re living in an age of comic books and franchises and no one gives a shit about original story telling anymore. So as far as I’m concerned, I just want to play some music and get it on.

What songs can we expect to hear?

Axl is going to play Sweet Wookie of Mine and Welcome to the Jungle Moon. Mick Jagger and the Stones are going to play Sympathy for the Vader. And Paul McCartney will play Hey Jedi.

Star wars: Max Bebo Live will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

KANYE WEST TELLS PAUL MCCARTNEY ‘BEYONCE WAS BEST BEATLE’

HOLLYWOOD –  Backstage at the Grammys, Kanye West blasted Paul McCartney as a talentless no-hoper who should admit publicly that Beyoncé wrote all the Beatles’ songs.

A furious Kanye West ranted for five full minutes with his face just meters from the ex-Beatles face:

You are a f*cking disgrace, and if you had any artistic integrity you would go out on that stage and admit in front of all your peers that it was Beyoncé Knowles who wrote all the best tracks on Sgt. Peppers and all the tracks on Abbey Road and not only did you not credit her the way you ought have, you even changed the name of her best album to The White Album cause you were a bunch of cracker assholes.

Shocked onlookers tried to defend the elderly rocker, arguing with Kanye that Beyonce Knowles wasn’t even born when the Beatles broke up. But the belligerent rapper became apoplectic:

That’s what makes it so galling. She manages to write all those motherf*cking songs and she hasn’t even been born yet. As a little preconceived filth thought she has more artistic integrity than all these Scientologists. And she does the Pipes of Peace and that f*cking one with the frogs, I can’t remember what it was called but it was Goddamned genius. With the f*cking frogs singing like a f*cking chorus. What the f*ck was it called? Yeezus!

The former Fab Four member told the press that he agreed with everything he said and that he hoped that Kanye West would continue to make wonderful music and that tuna fish that he liked so much that comes in the tins.

Kanye West will be next interrupting an acceptance speech at the Oscars on the 22nd of February.