CANNES FILM FESTIVAL BEGINS

CANNES – The 73rd Cannes Film Festival opens today.

Another year, another Cannes film festival. We flew in to Nice late last night and now the Studio Exec team has gathered in our hotel suite overlooking the Croisette. The program promises to be lively and the jury, led by Spike Lee no less, will no doubt begin their deliberations. One things for sure, this is going to be a bumper year of fun and controversy.

For once there doesn’t seem to be that many people about. In fact going for a walk this morning there was hardly anybody and no sign of the massive billboards that usually front the hotels. The Palais du Cinema looks dark and the queues at the accreditation are non-existent. It’s a bit sloppy of the organisers but they haven’t announced the official programme or what the opening film is going to be. Come on Thierry, get it together!

Personally, I have my fingers crossed for the Kevin James starrer Paul Blart Mall Cop 3. Though some people argued that Richard Jewell was effectively a Paul Blart sequel, I’ve never accepted it as cannon. Obviously, there’ll be a Naomi Kawase movie as there has been every year since 1946. Other highlights will include queuing for three hours to then not get in to the new Wes Anderson The French Dispatch. Also the culinary delights of moules frites, pan bagnat and pan aux chocolat. We’ll frequent all the most chic nightspots like Ma Nolan’s and the Petit Majestique.

Highlights

Some highlights to look forward to:

Gaspar Noe’s new film Rimjob looks set to be his most controversial yet with a forty minute sequence in which someone puts bread in the fridge, something you should never do.

Wes Anderson will grace the red carpet with everybody who has ever acted appearing in his new film.

The ‘Death of Cinema’ is debated for the first time ever.

To avoid spoilers being leaked via social media the festival is requesting press screenings to take place only after everyone in the world has already seen the films.

People finally admit rose wine is awful and we wouldn’t drink it if it wasn’t free.

The Cannes Film Festival ends on May 24th.

PAUL BLART MALL COP 3 IN TROUBLE

HOLLYWOOD – Production suspended on Paul Blart Mall Cop 3 following really bad smell.

Kevin James has halted production on Paul Blart Mall Cop 3, the final chapter of the Mall Cop trilogy because of ‘really bad smells, like egg and zinc’.

A source close to the hilarious comedian told the Studio Exec:

We’re shooting in China. Don’t ask. Anyway, every time we come to the set, there’s this…woof. I mean someone is obviously farting. The smell is the kind of smell that can only be made by the inside of a body and bad food, or perhaps a drowned corpse.

Despite the smell, the film looks set to be another winner in the Paul Blart Mall Cop trilogy. It sees Kevin James’ mall security man go to China. He gets mixed up with Russian gangsters and a long lost brother.

Paul Blart Mall Cop 3 will be released in 2017.

 

PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2 TO OPEN CANNES

CANNES – Kevin James’ hit comedy Paul Blart: Mall Cop was always going to spawn a sequel but few would have predicted that Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 would be headlining the prestigious Cannes Film Festival.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop was a festival favorite on its original release and won the coveted Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival. Behind the scenes, there was a frantic bidding war with rumors that the film was heading to Toronto International Film Festival, but in the end Cannes seems to have won out.

Cannes insider Xavier Poulis commented:

Many people from the USA do not understand how big Kevin James is in France. We think of him as the new Jerry Lewis even if we have to make more effort to pretend he’s funny. But still, it’s worth it, if only to confound the rest of the world.

The new film is in the final stages of post-production, but will be ready for its 13th of May premier in the deluxe Debussy Theater.

Director Andy Fickman said:

We are of course honored by the inclusion in the Cannes film festival line up which is usually light on multiplex fodder comedy.This film will not disappoint as Paul (played by Kevin James naturally) goes to Vegas with his daughter to attend a security conference and… well, he gets into what can only be described as ‘hilarious scrapes’.

Based on the original Saul Bellow novels – the so called Blart trilogy – the first film was criticized for straying far from the original story – making him a Mall Cop for instance – but director and star have recently assured the Studio Exec that this version at least will return to the excoriating bleak humor of Saul Bellow’s original conception.

The Cannes Film Festival will last from 13th to 23rd of May. 

PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2 TRUE TO THE SAUL BELLOW NOVEL

HOLLYWOOD – Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 will be true to the Saul Bellow novel, star Kevin James has insisted.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Here  Comes the Boom star was keen to reassure fans of the Saul Bellow novel:

Although the 2009 film was considered in many circles to be a comic masterpiece, there were noises from academic circles and the fans of the original 1963 novel by Saul Bellow complaining of certain liberties we took.  We updated the book and we added come more contemporary humor. I understood the Bellovians and their criticisms and I wanted when we decided to do the sequel to try and correct some of those mistakes.

What mistakes?

In the original Bellow novel of course Paul is a much more complicated character and his relationship with his daughter is really important to understanding him, so we have concentrated much more on that relationship. And although we have set the new film in Las Vegas, rather than Chicago as in the book, we have given a really dark tone.

Are there any plans to complete the trilogy?

Obviously that would be our dream. Even though Bellow’s final novel, Paul Blart: Child Murderer was considered extremely shocking at the time, I think it would be possible to make it more palatable for modern audiences.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is out in April, 2015.

2014 CANNES LINE UP ANNOUNCED

PARIS  – The 67th Cannes Film Festival line up was announced today in Paris, France by Gilles Jacob and Thierry Frémaux, and there were some big surprises.

Opening Film: 

Space Nugget (3D), Dan Harmon

In Competition:


My Wife the Leper, Gundi Baba

Tedious China, Xi Ling

My Grandmother’s Dog Has Cancer (Again), Zoltar Vochkin

Soup. Croutons. Soup. Abdellatif Kechiche

Knight of Two Cups, Terrence Malick

Not Just a Pretty Face, Ryan Gosling

Il Mio Debut Numero 3, Asia Argento

Sex and the City 3, Ken Loach

Mr. Potter and the Chamber of Prequels, Mike Leigh

I Haven’t Had a Glass of Clean Water for Five Years, Soso

Sosoko

25 Year Old Asshole, Xavier Dolan

Are You Being Served? Tommy Lee Jones

Fox Kisser, Alba Wonka

Admit it, You Thought I was Dead, Jean Luc Godard

Malaysia’s Last Chocolate Biscuit, Brillante Mendoza

My Father’s Racist Vagina, Lars Von Trier

Closing Film:

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (Andy Fickman)