WHAT WE LEARNED FROM THE 2015 OSCARS

HOLLYWOOD – So the Dolby Theater has been hosed down and returned to its daytime occupation as headquarters to the International Illuminati, but what did we learn from the 2015 Oscars?

We sent the Studio Exec FACT squad into the after parties and green room to see what we could see.

1. Filling in for the Beastmaster, Neil Patrick Harris is truly a talented entertainer. A funny comedian – although some of his joke writers need firing – , a wonderful song and dance man and a disturbingly good magician. How else but by magic could he have managed to make me laugh at Jack Black?

2. Patricia Arquette is one cool lady. Not only is her body of work impressive, but her acceptance speech spoke of something real. Along with Reese Witherspoon and her #AskHerMore stance, it’s good to see the sisters doing it for themselves. And while we’re at it good on Melanie Griffith for not mouthing platitudes about her daughter Dakota Johnson’s success in Fifty Shades of Grey. Surely tone deaf red carpet reporters can understand she might not to watch her daughter’s BDSM scenes? Perhaps not.

3. Terrence Howard might find himself replaced by Don Cheadle next year.

4. Following Julianne Moore and Eddie Redmayne’s Oscar victories Hollywood bookshops are going to have to stock up on diagnostic manuals as stars starting looking for the next big disease.

5. Boyhood and Birdman both deserved recognition, as did Selma, Snowpiercer, Get On Up , The f*cking LEGO Movie and a whole bunch of others. We’ve become a list crazed culture and so the Oscars have become if anything more important. Sure it’s meaningless; sure it shouldn’t matter. But meaninglessness is hardly a disqualifying factor in our twitterverse culture. Long may it reign.

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OUR OSCAR PREDICTIONS

HOLLYWOOD – Just in case you haven’t noticed, the Oscars are almost upon us, which I’ll be live tweeting, but until then the Studio Exec would like to offer 5 Oscar predictions.

Here are our Five Oscar Predictions in order of likelihood:

1. Pompeii will probably not win as many awards as I have hitherto predicted.

2. The team up of Kanye West and the Beastmaster will make for an electrifying show that will be blown even further into out of space by the arrival of Hawk the Slayer, Flash, the floating head from Zardoz and the planet Krull.

3. Birdman and Boyhood will be revealed to actually be brothers. Whiplash‘s J.K. Simmons will use his acceptance speech to criticize the orchestra. The Imitation Game will come out and the Theory of Everything will be disproved.

4. American Sniper will shoot Selma in a tasteless and ill thought out montage sequence.

5. Meryl Streep will win another Oscar and Reese Witherspoon, Rosamund Pike, Patricia Arquette, Marion Coutillard, Julianne Moore and Felicity Jones will kill her on stage and eat parts of her body to try and ingest her magic charm. (Then we’ll cut to commercial).

For more Oscars CLICK HERE.