PADDINGTON BEAR HORROR REBOOT GREENLIT

HOLLYWOOD – Following on from the Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey horror reimagining, a Paddington Bear horror reboot has been announced. The gore-fest will be directed by Eli Roth and begins shooting later this summer. The Exec caught up with eternal frat boy horror aficionado, Roth as he finalized pre-production on the Paddington Bear horror reboot.

Eli, What Attracted You To A Paddington Bear Horror Reboot?

Hey bros. You know me, when it comes to bucking horror trends, I’m Phi Beta Kappa. I was never on board the torture porn trend with Hostel. Nor was I on board the remake gravy train with Death Wish. And I will never be on the videogame movie band wagon with Borderlands. When I heard there was an opportunity to make a beloved children’s bear character into a horror icon, I leaped at the chance. Here was another opportunity to prove what an original creative force I am.

Can You Tell Us Anything About The Plot?

Only a little. It’s going to be a home invasion story. Where a Peruvian immigrant bear stalks and terrorizes the Brown family. Think The Purge crossed with Straw Dogs, but he’s not a dog. He’s a bear and he’s not made of straw. I never got why they called it Straw Dogs. What kind of stupid title is that? It should’ve been called Shootsie or The Graduate II: Braddock’s Revenge. That would have been way cooler, bro.

Can You Tell Us Any Cast News?

I shouldn’t really, but you seem like a cool dude, man. We got Robert Englund playing Henry Brown and Sybil Danning as Mary Brown.

And Who Is Playing Paddington?

We got Andy Serkis in a mo-cap suit providing the movements, but we aint using him for the voice. We have Rob Zombie providing the voice. He brings a real guttural heft to the character that has never been explored before. Plus he sounds like he’d tear you a new assshole.

Paddington Bear: Flesh Shredder Starts Filming Shortly

ALEJANDRO INARRITU TO DIRECT PADDINGTON 2

HOLLYWOOD – Popular children’s film Paddington 2 is to take an altogether different direction with the news that Oscar winning Birdman and Revenant director, Alejandro Inarritu is to take over as director.

Alejandro Inarritu dropped by the Studio Exec bungalow to talk about his new film Paddington 2.

I know that it is something of a surprise to see me take on a film such as this, but my career has been about trying to get away from the ghost of myself. If I simply becoming an automaton repeating the same old tropes and moves then artistically I will die. 21 Grams and Babel were too similar and so Birdman was a comedy, something I’ve never done. The Revenant is – when you come down to it – a classical revenge Western. But I’ve never done a children’s film. Not ever. And so when I saw Paddington I thought, I could have some of that.

The original Paddington was a huge success and Ben Wishaw is to return as the voice of the bear with Hugh Bonneville and Sally Hawkins also returning as the Browns, who, along with their children, adopt Paddington after finding him alone at Paddington railway station. But we asked if there was a story line yet:

It’s all very sketchy right now but I have some ideas of how I want to approach this and what I want to do. First of all we will film in only natural light, I will allow myself a maximum of five cuts in the whole move and there will be absolutely no CGI.

No CGI?

That was the one mistake I made on the Revenant and never again. CGI takes you out of the movie. It is automatic, when something is CGI your brain thinks, ‘Ah this is safe!’ I want danger and so we’ll be using a real bear and Ben will do the voice over live on set, perhaps strapped to the back of the bear. Nicole Kidman is returning as the villain of the piece. But in a way I also want all the characters to be draped in moral ambiguity. So my idea is that Mr. Brown has leukemia and in order to pay for his treatments, Mrs. Brown is selling heroin to street kids. Millicent (that’s Nicole) is blackmailing Mrs. Brown and turning her against Paddington who to be fair has become increasingly violent as he is following a Guru who is teaching him to get in touch with his inner bear. The idea came to me when I heard that ridiculous story about DiCaprio being raped by the bear. It was nonsense but then I thought, ‘What if Paddington instead of giving Mr. Brown a long hard stare…?’

Paddington 2: The Moral Darkness of a Godless Universe will be released in 2018.

 Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.