RICHARD KIND SLAMS COLIN FARRELL FOR NORM-FACING

HOLLYWOOD – Colin Farrell slammed by Richard Kind for “norm-facing”.

Richard Kind has launched a broadside against fellow thespian Colin Farrell following the publication of onset photographs from The Batman. In an interview with the French Cultural Magazine Chapeau, Kind said:

It’s appalling. I saw it and I was appalled. You see, a chap like me we don’t get the handsome leads. We don’t get to kiss the girls. With our chops, we fight and scratch just to get small parts, best friends, angry bosses, characters in other words. Farrell is a fine lad and I like his work. But he’s a pretty boy. What right does he have to come along and take a part like The Penguin? He hasn’t lived our life experience. He hasn’t earned it. It’s just “norm-facing” is what it is.

Norm Facing?

The only me and me mates have is that we look normal. Ask Tom Wilkinson or Ciaran Hinds. We’re not winning any beauty pageants. But then they slap on a bucket of makeup on some pretty Irish boy and he snaffles one of the prime roles from us ugs. Look at Batman Forever. Danny Devito played that role. Perfect. Imagine how he would have felt if Robert Redford had put on a mask and taken it from him.

Colin Farrell however has not taken the criticism lying down. He told Deadline last night:

Richard Kind should keep his stupid fat mouth shut. I’m doing him a favour. Everytime he dines out now he’s going to be surrounded by young women thinking he’s me. Plus Kind and his kind are hypocrites. You didn’t see me whining when Richard Kind some years ago, put on a Colin Farrell mask and starred in Alexander, a role Oliver Stone had promised to me.

The Batman will be out in 2043.

THE MAKING OF PLATOON

HOLLYWOOD – In our new series ‘The Making of…’ we go behind the scenes, using previously unseen letters, diaries and documents, of a major motion picture landmark of cinema. This week Platoon.

The Idea.

The original idea for Platoon came to Oliver Stone when he was a schoolboy in 1956. He writes in his unpublished autobiography A Stone’s Throw:

I was a dreamy kid. I’d look out of the windows and wonder about movies I’d like to make. I don’t know if it was seeing something on television but I really wanted to make a film about a young marine who goes to a South East Asian country and becomes torn between two rival Sergeants. Of course Vietnam wasn’t going to get going for some years, but when it did I knew that this was the perfect opportunity for me to research the script that I still intended to write and so that’s what I did.

Casting.

Martin Sheen was originally approached to play the role of Chris Taylor but after several years had passed with Stone unable to secure financing Sheen pulled out. This is the letter he wrote to Oliver Stone:

Hey Ollie,

I’m sorry it has to end this way but I simply can no longer commit to the role of ‘Chris’ in your film, Platoon. I’m getting too old for the role and as written it resembles too closely my part in Apocalypse Now. I feel guilty about leaving you high and dry so I have a suggestion to make and I hope you will take it in good spirit. I have a son who is a very accomplished actor and physically resembles me in some way. I wouldn’t want to be accused of nepotism so I’d insist you audition him properly, but it might be a solution for you. I’ve included Emilio’s address should you want to go with that.

Production.

The filming took place in the Philippines which was then under the rule of the dictator Marcos. Condition were tough and Tom Berenger, who played Sergeant Bob Barnes complained of Oliver Stone’s commitment to realism in this letter to his girlfriend Lisa Williams:

Ollie is one tough son of a bitch. He sent us through basic training so that we would move like soldiers and achieve a basic sense of realism, but now we’re doing the fight scenes, we’re beginning to worry. He wants to use live ammo! He says squibs always look fake. I have to shoot Willem [Dafoe] and goddamn it, if he doesn’t actually want me to shoot him! When I questioned him, he yelled at me to ‘respect his process’ as he reloaded my MK 47. What could I do? I’m not going back to the soaps! I aimed to miss vital organs, but give Ollie his due, the dailies look great and we’re all very happy. Willem has been flown back to the states for surgery. Apparently the bullet is lodged in there quite tightly.

Post-Production.

Music would play a fundamental role in the success of the film and Stone commissioned Georges Delerue to score the picture. However, the composer of such iconic French films as Jules et Jim and Le Mepris would run into difficulty with his American director. He wrote to Francois Truffaut:

These Americans! Sacre Bleu! as we French say all the time. The emotional core of the film is when the Sergeant is shot but reappears chased by the enemy and dies in a Christ-like pose. M. Stone told me to write something like Samuel Barber’s Adagio. It’s a saccharine piece of twaddle but what am I going to do. I try my best but every time I play him my work, he says ‘no! I want it like the Barber piece’. Finally I told him to just use the Barber piece and that’s exactly what he ended did. I should have stayed in Paris, but now at least I’ve got the job of doing the music to Three Men and a Baby.

Platoon was released in 1986.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT WOODY HARRELSON

HOLLYWOOD -5 Facts we never knew but just found out about Woody Harrelson.

We sent the FACT squad to Ebbing Missouri to find out what we could about Woody Harrelson.

 

1. Woody Harrelson first became famous playing Ted Danson in Cheers.

2. The Cheers star had a spin-off show called Woody in which he is continuously mistaken for Woody Allen’s brother.

3. Woody Harrelson is Woody Allen’s brother.

4. His first break into serious films was a starring role in Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers. Playing Mickey Knox a psychopathic serial killer, Harrelson said he prepared for the role by growing an unconvincing mullet. The hair cut led to the film being disowned by script writer Quentin Tarantino.

5. Since his break through he has appeared with some of the most talented film directors in the world like the Coen Brothers and the Farrelly Brothers. He has challenged himself with demanding material like Rampart and The Messenger, as well as Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri. He was also in War of Planet of the Apes and the Hunger Games films in which he played The Hunger. Don’t Look Now was shit though.

For more FACTS click here. 

OLIVER STONE OVERDOSES ON CONSPIRACY

HOLLYWOOD – Oliver Stone rushed to hospital with a suspected overdose of conspiracy.

Filmmaker Oliver Stone was rushed to hospital last night following a suspected conspiracy overdose. Fortunately this morning he was well enough to talk to the Studio Exec via one of those voice scramblers serial killers use when they taunt the police:

Hey Exec! How’s it going?

Good. How are you Oliver?

I’ve been better. This is a dark period for me. Trump is in the White House. Hillary Clinton is in the woods. The FBI and the NSA are testifying in a hearing. The chairman of the hearing is running round to the White House to tell the President what’s going on. Thereby sabotaging his own hearing. It’s dark times indeed.

Is it as bad as when you directed Alexander?

Let’s not go over the top. It’s bad but nothing can compare to Colin Farrell in a tunic.

So what happened?

As you know I’ve been someone who has been interested in secret machinations of power all my life. Whether it’s Nixon or JFK, or producing my Secret History of the USA documentary. But this stuff is the good stuff. I’ve never mainlined something so pure before. You have Russians, Wikileaks, Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. And I haven’t mentioned Jeff Sessions and Michael Flynn. Or the Christopher Steele dossier or the fact that the Russians mentioned have started dropping like flies. Flies that have been shot and poisoned. Goddamn this stuff is powerful.

Are you going to make a film about it?

I’d love to, but who will believe it. I mean, we’re watching it unfold right now in front of our eyes and we don’t believe. I guess you could just watched Natural Born Killers again. That pretty much sums it all up.

What do you think is going to happen?

I don’t know. The doctors have prescribed that I watch nothing but Sesame Street for a year.

But Trump’s budget is going to cancel that.

Motherfucker!

Oliver Stone’s Secret History of the United States of America Volume Ten Trumped Up will be released in 2018.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK MONKEY DIES

HOLLYWOOD – 2016 claims another victim as esteemed monkey actor famous for Raiders of the Lost Ark dies.

The film world is in mourning today as news came in that George Applethwaite, the monkey actor  most famous for his role in the Indiana Jones adventure Raiders of the Lost Ark has died.

Tributes flooded in from all over the world. Harrison Ford described Applethwaite as ‘a formative influence on my acting style and a great personal friend’ and Andy Serkis hailed the late actor as ‘a pioneer for all of us monkey actors, we all stand on the shoulders of Applethwaite’.

The body of Applethwaite was discovered at his Malibu beach house by a cleaner and although the coroner has not declared the cause of death speculation is rife that he took his own life. Applethwaite shot to fame as the turncoat monkey who betrays Indiana Jones to the Nazis in the first film of the blockbuster franchise. Ironically, Applethwaite was famous for his radical left wing views which sat uncomfortably with the money and fame he garnered with his acting. Protegé Serkis remembered his guru:

George always told me that in another life he would have prefered to have been a writer, someone who could really influence the world. But he was cursed with this gift of acting and once he achieved success there was no stopping him.

Applethwaite followed up his work with Spielberg with Oscar nominated turns as the Austrian Emperor in Amadeus and in the role of the sadistic sergeant in Oliver Stone’s Platoon and a long productive collaboration with Philip Glass. However, in recent years Applethwaite’s career had stalled and a series of scandals involving IRS investigations had led the star into depression and alcohol abuse.

Perhaps the most moving tribute to Applethwaite was paid by John Rhys-Davies, the actor who played Sallah in Raiders, who tweeted two words which said it all:

‘Bad dates’.

For more news about movies, CLICK HERE.

 

OLIVER STONE NEW JFK THEORY: OSWALD DID IT!

DALLAS – Snowden film director, conspiracy theorist and eyebrow pioneer, Oliver Stone has a new theory regarding the assassination of John F. Kennedy and it’s crazy! 

The JFK director phoned the Studio Exec early this morning, careful to disguise his voice:

For years, I’ve been convinced that President John Kennedy was shot by someone shooting from the direction of the grassy knoll. Possibly, two shooters. On the Zapruder footage, the head clearly goes back and to the left. Back and to the left! And given the speed of the car and the direction it was travelling through Dealey Plaza, that seemed like the only logical conclusion. However it has come to my attention that there was also a man in the Book Depository Building which had a clear view of the square and a marksman, someone trained in the marines for instance, could have taken the kill shot from there. And what is more damning is the nature of that building. A ‘Book’ depository building? Books? in Dallas, Texas? I don’t think so.

I think we…

Now, it so happens a man was arrested and quite conveniently shot the following day, before he could fully confess. That man’s name I’ve learned was Lee Harvey Oswald. So I asked myself could this be the man who shot John F. Kennedy?

But…

Of course, I couldn’t be sure, but then I got a photograph of Oswald and he is the spitting image of Gary Oldman. That sealed the deal. 

But this is the accepted official version of events.

Exactly. It’s reverse psychology, you see. They know I’m always onto them. So they give me the truth knowing that I’ll head off arm in arm with Kevin Costner to dig up any species of bullshit and discredit myself and my friends, when all along the real conspiracy was right there in front of me all the time. You have to hand it to Richard Nixon, the Mafia, Cuban right wingers and the CIA, they almost got away with it this time.

Oliver Stone will be revealing a JFK: the Director’s Cut in 2017, as soon as he has completed his three week version of Alexander: the Seriously This Is It Cut.  

NICOLAS CAGE TO PLAY RONALD REAGAN

WASHINGTON – Nicolas Cage has confirmed he will be playing Ronald Reagan in Oliver Stone’s Reagan.

Jessica Biel is rumored to be on board for the role of the First Lady Nancy.

Cage stated that he looked forward to the challenges of the role:

Ronald Reagan is a giant figure in our recent political history and he represented both the good and the bad in our culture. Many still look upon him as a hero who won the Cold War and led America through difficult times. Oliver has a different take on it and it’ll be interesting to see what comes out.

Stone said that his version of Reagan would be that of a dangerous right wing demagogue whose early stage dementia proved a security risk throughout his second term.

I’ve been making films about Presidents now for years,’ the mono-browed maverick belched. ‘JFK, W and Nixon were all received as the definitive word on each incumbent. I’ll finish Reagan and next year I want to go straight into a back to back production of Carter and Clinton.

Asked what made him cast Cage, Stone laughed, ‘Well, of course Reagan himself was a lousy actor and so I thought why not get a lousy actor to play him. No but seriously that is the reason.’

Reagan will be released in 2016.

EDWARD SNOWDEN JOINS GOOGLE PLUS

HOLLYWOOD – Edward Snowden made headlines recently when he joined Twitter, but what many people don’t know is he also joined Google Plus.

Speaking to political Blog The Runtler, Edward Snowden commented for the first time on his foray into social media:

Of course the reason I am on Twitter seems to me obvious. I wish to maintain a high profile online presence and I want to argue for the freedom of the individual and against the oppressive surveillance of the state. But I also obviously am very concerned about privacy and I fear that Twitter will be an intrusive drain on my time. So to address this I’ve also joined Google Plus, which uniquely will give me a place to be alone while I am on the internet.

Oliver Stone who is directing a film on Snowden’s life starring Joseph Gordon Levitt had this to say:

Edward Snowden is one of the most principled men I have ever met and the fact that he is on Twitter is phenomenal. But his joining Google Plus is just more evidence of how dedicated this man is, in protecting himself, like a digital hermit, from the overload of the modern world.

Some however have criticized the erstwhile whistleblower, claiming he is broadening his social media profile in order to publicize his new film WarGames 2, to which Snowden replied, ‘Obvs.’

Snowden will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

DID OLIVER STONE KILL ABRAHAM LINCOLN?

HOLLYWOOD – A new book by maverick director Oliver Stone claims that the Platoon director was directly involved in the successful plot to assassinate the 16th President of the United States of America, Abraham Lincoln.

The second most famous presidential assassination – after that of William McKinley – the murder of President Lincoln in 1865 sent shock waves through the USA, following his successful resolution of the Civil War. For years it was believed that his assassin was the actor and Southern rebel John Wilkes Booth, but a new book by Cornell Historian Anthony Guber Stoned to Death: Oliver Stone and the Death of Abraham Lincoln: including an Appendix on Pearl Harbor and the Illuminati posits the thesis that director Oliver Stone (born 99 years subsequent to the President’s demise) was the actual assassin.

The book reads:

Records show that Oliver Stone joined the army in 1967 and fought in Vietnam. What they don’t show is that after his first tour of duty he was recruited into a special covert group of the US Army specializing in Time War. As Lincoln had placed legal limits on the days (no fighting on Sundays and Wednesdays Law) on which the army could fight in 1866, severely hampering the effort to defeat Communism in South East Asia, this group decided on a radical plan to assassinate Lincoln before he signed the law. Stone was chosen because of his creativity and aim. His whole career has been something of an extended apology and covert confession of his crime. JFK in particular sees him project his guilt into a convoluted conspiracy against another president, but if you switch Kennedy for Lincoln, then you have what is essentially a mea culpa.

The author cites other evidence such as the fact that Daniel Day Lewis in preparing for the role of Lincoln in Spielberg’s film of the same name, received extensive coaching from Stone on ‘authenticity’. And an interview with French cultural magazine Chapeau in which Stone stated:

Of course I’m delighted that Obama is our President but people keep saying he’s our first black president. They forget that Frederick Douglas became President after Abraham Lincoln endorsed him. Oh wait… I killed Lincoln didn’t I?

Oliver Stone was unavailable for comment.

THE MAKING OF PLATOON

HOLLYWOOD – In our new series ‘The Making of…’ we go behind the scenes, using previously unseen letters, diaries and documents, of a major motion picture landmark of cinema. This week Platoon.

The Idea.

The original idea for Platoon came to Oliver Stone when he was a schoolboy in 1956. He writes in his unpublished autobiography A Stone’s Throw:

I was a dreamy kid. I’d look out of the windows and wonder about movies I’d like to make. I don’t know if it was seeing something on television but I really wanted to make a film about a young marine who goes to a South East Asian country and becomes torn between two rival Sergeants. Of course Vietnam wasn’t going to get going for some years, but when it did I knew that this was the perfect opportunity for me to research the script that I still intended to write and so that’s what I did.

Casting.

Martin Sheen was originally approached to play the role of Chris Taylor but after several years had passed with Stone unable to secure financing Sheen pulled out. This is the letter he wrote to Oliver Stone:

Hey Ollie,

I’m sorry it has to end this way but I simply can no longer commit to the role of ‘Chris’ in your film, Platoon. I’m getting too old for the role and as written it resembles too closely my part in Apocalypse Now. I feel guilty about leaving you high and dry so I have a suggestion to make and I hope you will take it in good spirit. I have a son who is a very accomplished actor and physically resembles me in some way. I wouldn’t want to be accused of nepotism so I’d insist you audition him properly, but it might be a solution for you. I’ve included Emilio’s address should you want to go with that.

Production.

The filming took place in the Philippines which was then under the rule of the dictator Marcos. Condition were tough and Tom Berenger, who played Sergeant Bob Barnes complained of Oliver Stone’s commitment to realism in this letter to his girlfriend Lisa Williams:

Ollie is one tough son of a bitch. He sent us through basic training so that we would move like soldiers and achieve a basic sense of realism, but now we’re doing the fight scenes, we’re beginning to worry. He wants to use live ammo! He says squibs always look fake. I have to shoot Willem [Dafoe] and goddamn it, if he doesn’t actually want me to shoot him! When I questioned him, he yelled at me to ‘respect his process’ as he reloaded my MK 47. What could I do? I’m not going back to the soaps! I aimed to miss vital organs, but give Ollie his due, the dailies look great and we’re all very happy. Willem has been flown back to the states for surgery. Apparently the bullet is lodged in there quite tightly.

Post-Production.

Music would play a fundamental role in the success of the film and Stone commissioned Georges Delerue to score the picture. However, the composer of such iconic French films as Jules et Jim and Le Mepris would run into difficulty with his American director. He wrote to Francois Truffaut:

These Americans! Sacre Bleu! as we French say all the time. The emotional core of the film is when the Sergeant is shot but reappears chased by the enemy and dies in a Christ-like pose. M. Stone told me to write something like Samuel Barber’s Adagio. It’s a saccharine piece of twaddle but what am I going to do. I try my best but every time I play him my work, he says ‘no! I want it like the Barber piece’. Finally I told him to just use the Barber piece and that’s exactly what he ended did. I should have stayed in Paris, but now at least I’ve got the job of doing the music to Three Men and a Baby.

Platoon was released in 1986.

 

JACK BLACK AND WILL FERRELL TO MOVE INTO ‘COMEDY’

HOLLYWOOD – In what looks to be one of the strangest career moves in recent years, Jack Black and Will Ferrell are both to move away from darker dramatic roles and try their hands at ‘comedy’.

Jack Black and Will Ferrell have for years created robust CVs of serious and often controversial and challenging dramatic material. In Nacho Libre for instance, Jack Black shone light on the poor and disenfranchised of Mexico and how many are pushed to extremes in order to realise their dreams. Likewise, Will Ferrell in Anchorman produced a film that was described in The New York Times as ‘like Network but without the jokes’.

The move will come as a surprise for their fan who yesterday spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

I love Jack Black in Bernie. The darkness in his character was one of the deepest things I’ve seen in years. A performance up there with Robert Mitchum in night of the Hunter. And Will Ferrell has always been a keystone of serious dramatic acting, be it the struggling accountant in Stranger than Fiction, or the real life portrait of President George W. Bush in Oliver Stone’s under-rated biopic W. But now to see him what? Gooning about with Jack Black for laughs? I’m not sure it’ll work.

Ferrell and Black however were both keen to stress that the new film was an experiment and they would soon be back to their more familiarly serious roles.

Jack Black told tthe Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

There’s always a danger doing something entirely new and out there. We’ve never done comedy before. We don’t even really know how it works. There’s a chance that people will just laugh at us and if they do, if they don’t get it, then I think both Will and I will return to our day jobs of not making people laugh.

Tag will be released in 2017.

 

JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT IS EDWARD SNOWDEN

HOLLYWOOD – First look at Joseph Gordon Levitt as Edward Snowden in Oliver Stone’s new film Snowden.

The film, which also stars Nicolas Cage, tells the story of the most famous whistle blower of recent years and subject of this year’s Oscar winning documentary Citizenfour. Shailene Woodley is also confirmed as Snowden’s girlfriend Lindsay Mills. Many who saw Oliver Stone’s World Trade Center believe that the film could be part of a CIA plot to discredit the former defense contractor, but there is always a chance that the Oliver Stone who made Salvador didn’t actually die in the 1980s.

Stone is currently filming in Munich, Germany. 

OPRAH WINFREY TO PRODUCE MARTIN LUTHER KING: ZOMBIE KILLER

HOLLYWOOD – The Oprah Winfrey produced Martin Luther King Jr. biopic Selma has had a change of name and direction. Now titled Martin Luther King: Zombie Killer, the film will be directed by Timur Bekmambetov and will star Samuel L. Jackson

Ms. Winfrey explained the change of emphasis:

It’s a fact that young people today are not attracted to large scale, worthy looking historical fare. We already know the story. It’s the kids who need educating. So in conversations with Timur, he suggested why not have Martin Luther King Jr. fight racism AND (and this is the important part) a zombie outbreak? I’ll admit at first I was resistant but then we looked at some figures and we saw that people who wanted to see an MLK movie alone was an okay figure, but MLK + Zombies was off the chart.

Oliver Stone who had also submitted a script to the project reacted angrily to the news.

‘It’s obviously a conspiracy,’ he said.   

Martin Luther King: Zombie Killer will be released in 2016.

OLIVER STONE GETS HIS SNOWDEN

HOLLYWOOD – Following fast on the news that Oliver Stone was to write and direct a film based on the life on NSA whistle blower Edward Snowden comes the news that Matthew Broderick has signed on to play him.

The Platoon and World Trade Center director said:

As soon as I begin writing a script, I have to have an actor in mind, and usually that might influence casting but it is rarely the case that an actor comes back to me so quickly and actually ends up playing the role. It happened with Jimmy Woods in Salvador. But Matthew obviously sees a chance to be in an important movie and I was lucky to get him seeing Godzilla has been such a smash!

What made you think of Broderick?

War Games initially. I see Snowden as someone who weirdly has been himself playing a role and that role is David Lightman from War Games. Of course, then I realized he’s also Ferris Beuller from Ferris Beuller’s Day Off. He also took a day off and sang Twist and Shout with a parade band, you know, metaphorically.

Broderick himself told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that he was overjoyed to be working with Oliver Stone.

The man is a savvy political commentator but he also has an eye on the Zeitgeist and can exploit it to produce hugely popular mass entertainment. Just look at Alexander

Erm.

Anyway he’s obviously seen that there’s a hunger for these contemporary political pictures. See how well the Julian Assange movie, The Fifth Estate did.

But that movie performed really badly at the box office.

Ah. I knew you were going to say that, but Oliver told me that those figures are basically invented and put up by the Illuminati and the Bilderberg group to make political film makers feel disenchanted. They did the exact same thing with the Oscar winning Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Edward Snowden’s Day Off will be released in 2015.