WILLEM DAFOE’S MASSIVE COCK

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec can reveal that Willem Dafoe’s massive cock has caused problems on many of his movie sets. We spoke to several film makers and co-stars to really get our teeth into the actor’s massive manhood.

Willem Dafoe’s Massive Cock Exclusive

For years rumor after rumor has spread through Hollywood offices and corridors about the size of Dafoe’s chap. Production budgets have soared with strange costs attributed to ‘additional costumes’ or ‘gusset repairs’. The Exec has spoken with many of tinsel town’s top names to get to the root of the story.

Martin Scorsese

When we were filming The Last Temptation Of Christ, we had to stop shooting the crucifixion scene because it popped out. We nearly had to rename the film ‘The Last Temptation Of CHRIST, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT!’ Luckily, a brave member (pardon the pun) of our costume crew pushed the thing back out of sight.

Sam Raimi

While shooting the first Spiderman movie, the plan was to have Willem in a spandex Green Goblin costume. The resultant protuberance when in costume was gonna be a real distraction. It would send more than your Spidey-sense a tinglin’, believe me. Back then the cgi wasn’t good enough to just paint the thing green and fix it in post-production. So we went with the exo-skeletal costume you see in the movie. Just so we could hide his massive cock. For the sequel, we nearly went with Revenge Of The Green Goblin with the tagline, ‘If you try Gobblin’ this, you’ll also turn green.’ But marketing shut that one down, pretty quick. Those people have no sense of humor.

John Malkovich

When we were filming Shadow Of The Vampire, it wasn’t the shadow of his talons that drew the eye. But as soon we saw the shadow of his super-sized schlong, we all held our arms over our eyes like Nosferatu when he sees the sunrise. Horrific.

Norman Reedus

I’ll never forget the shoot for The Boondock Saints. There was a scene where Willem dresses in drag to infiltrate the villain’s hideout. He had to tape up his boy bits to his leg, so he could wear pantyhose. It was a low budget shoot, so it was all hands to his pump. Took four of us an hour and a half to wrestle that thing into submission. I’m in The Walking Dead, and that was most frightened I’ve ever been. I’ve seen things, man. Real bad things.

Willem Dafoe Is Currently Appearing In The Northman

THE WALKING DEAD IS STILL ON

HOLLYWOOD – The Walking Dead is still going, it was revealed today.

The internet was in shock today as it was revealed that the AMC show The Walking Dead was still on. Despite no one really caring about it, the show like the zombies it portrays continues to lurch through the schedules.

An insider close to the show said:

It’s amazing. We’ve been doing the show for I think seven seasons, but I’m not sure. There’s even another show called Fear the Walking Dead. Yet, we’ve never actually met anyone who likes the show. Even fans of the show don’t like it anymore.

Many predicted the demise of the show after Andrew Lincoln, who plays Sheriff Rick Grimes, was eaten by fans. Norman Reedus told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that the setback wouldn’t slow the show down:

 It was sad about Andrew but that just shows the passion of the fans for the show. And the writers are amazing. Whenever it looks like we’re flagging they just have someone get their head caved in with a baseball bat. Sometimes two! Now that’s smart.

Meanwhile rumor has it that a Walking Dead movie is in the works

The Walking Dead Season 7 we think continues.