HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec can reveal that Willem Dafoe’s massive cock has caused problems on many of his movie sets. We spoke to several film makers and co-stars to really get our teeth into the actor’s massive manhood.
Willem Dafoe’s Massive Cock Exclusive
For years rumor after rumor has spread through Hollywood offices and corridors about the size of Dafoe’s chap. Production budgets have soared with strange costs attributed to ‘additional costumes’ or ‘gusset repairs’. The Exec has spoken with many of tinsel town’s top names to get to the root of the story.
When we were filming The Last Temptation Of Christ, we had to stop shooting the crucifixion scene because it popped out. We nearly had to rename the film ‘The Last Temptation Of CHRIST, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT!’ Luckily, a brave member (pardon the pun) of our costume crew pushed the thing back out of sight.
While shooting the first Spiderman movie, the plan was to have Willem in a spandex Green Goblin costume. The resultant protuberance when in costume was gonna be a real distraction. It would send more than your Spidey-sense a tinglin’, believe me. Back then the cgi wasn’t good enough to just paint the thing green and fix it in post-production. So we went with the exo-skeletal costume you see in the movie. Just so we could hide his massive cock. For the sequel, we nearly went with Revenge Of The Green Goblin with the tagline, ‘If you try Gobblin’ this, you’ll also turn green.’ But marketing shut that one down, pretty quick. Those people have no sense of humor.
When we were filming Shadow Of The Vampire, it wasn’t the shadow of his talons that drew the eye. But as soon we saw the shadow of his super-sized schlong, we all held our arms over our eyes like Nosferatu when he sees the sunrise. Horrific.
I’ll never forget the shoot for The Boondock Saints. There was a scene where Willem dresses in drag to infiltrate the villain’s hideout. He had to tape up his boy bits to his leg, so he could wear pantyhose. It was a low budget shoot, so it was all hands to his pump. Took four of us an hour and a half to wrestle that thing into submission. I’m in The Walking Dead, and that was most frightened I’ve ever been. I’ve seen things, man. Real bad things.