The anonymous source who wishes to remain anonymous said:
We don’t know how he smuggled the giraffe in. We knew he loved the animal. He had giraffe posters on his wall, giraffe t-shirts and a giraffe duvet but when the boys entered his dressing room after the show and saw him on the step ladders doing what he was doing to that poor animal, it was obvious the band could no longer continue.
The money he’ll receive will not give him back his innocence, but it will buy a hell of a lot of twigs and leaves.

‘I can confirm that we have filed a restraining order against Mr Easton Ellis who was pestering us night and day,’ said Romanov. He continued:
There is currently a screenplay in the works and it will be written by Damon Lindelof. The Giraffe is a big fan of Prometheus and believes that Mr Lindelof is the only man who can do this story justice.